Jessie James Decker Sweeps, Taylor Swift New Lover Raises Questions, Kay Adams Ready For Kentucky Derby, Hottest Star Wars Babes
I started my Thursday bouncing between an Anheuser-Busch earnings call, Jessie James Decker Instagram heaters and a Taylor Swift wormhole.
How about you?
And if you think I was sweating scrolling through Jessie's bikini pics, you should've seen AB's CEO try to keep Bud Light above water. Sort of reminded me of Michael Scott getting grilled at Dunder-Mifflin's townhall.
I have a 45-day plan ... 45 days to get us back on track. It has 45 points. 45 day, 45 point plan -- one point per day, we get to 45 points, we're back in business!
Great scene, complete with Michael's twirl at the end. Perfection. Stick around long enough and you'll see it. I'd show it here but the fellas in analytics tell me putting a video this high up ain't great for the Google Gods.
OK, back to the nitty-gritty.
Anyway, talk about a wild way to start a day. On one screen I have pandering Bud Light begging for my business, on the other I have Jessie James Decker mom-shaming the haters and doing a little sweeping.
Talk about having to be a damn utility player!
We'll dive into Jesse and Bud Light -- as Nightcaps conductor Anthony Farris says, if the day ends in y, we have to talk about BL -- in a bit.
Along the way we'll also check in with Queen Kay Adams (duh) who's at the Kentucky Derby, talk about Taylor Swift's new boy toy, and celebrate hot Star Wars women on May the 4th.
Sound like a plan?
Cool. Grab an American Yuengling and let's do some cleaning.
Jessie James Decker is unstoppable right now
What a few weeks for Jessie James Decker, huh? Honestly, I meant to get to her last week but then Breckie Hill kept getting naked on social media and kissing girls, and poor Jessie kept getting pushed back.
But you truly can't keep the OGs and the vets down for very long, and here's 35-year-old Jessie James Decker sending a couple blistering warning shots into the crowded influencer field.
Goodness gracious, Jessie! Give someone else a chance.
How about that absolute haymaker thrown by Eric's wife on the second post?
Cover up, you're a mom.
Yeah, get out of here with that crap, haters. If Jessie James Damn Decker wants to do a little pre-summer tanning, then the floor is all hers. Losers.
And then she'll clean that floor with her handy-dandy broom!
PS: love these two. Eric was also lowkey legit for about four seasons there.
Taylor Swift has turned her attention to 1975's Matty Healy
Speaking of power couples, it appears Taylor Swift is NOT banging Fernando Alonso and is instead shacking up with 1975 front man Matty Healy.
I'll be honest with you -- I have zero to no music knowledge outside of country music that was popular from 1997-2011. That's my wheelhouse. It's a very specific one, but it is what it is.
So I had no idea who Matty Healy was until I looked him up, and it turns out the internet thought he was gay for a while? That true?
It also looks like this cat is BIG into kissing guys on stage -- you can do your own search on that one -- but also doesn't consider himself somewhat gay? What am I missing here? I'm so confused.
How about this look from Matty Healy (far right) aimed at Taylor Swift? (Photo by David M. Benett/Getty Images for Soho House & Bacardi)
From The Sun:
Taylor and Matty are ready to go public with their romance in Nashville, Tennessee, where the US singer performs this weekend.
A source close to Taylor said: “She and Matty are madly in love. It’s super-early days, but it feels right. They first dated, very briefly, almost ten years ago but timings just didn’t work out.
Because ... he's gay!? And how about this interview from Attitude in 2019:
“I tend not to talk about my sexuality that explicitly because I don’t really have to and all things are subject to change. Then sexuality gets changed for me because I would, and have, kissed beautiful men, but I don’t want to f--k them. It stops for me when it comes to ."
What an absolutely wild worm hole I found myself in after Jessie put me in a good mood AFTER Bud Light again pissed me off.
Anyway, I asked OutKick's music expert Michael Gunzelman about this and here's what he told me:
Kay Adams is about to destroy the Kentucky Derby
There you have it: Matty Healy, confirmed cool dude. Hope that clears it all up.
By the way, I'll go ahead and channel Seinfeld here and say, not that there's anything wrong with that.
Do what you want, doesn't matter to me. I just needed some answers after accidentally falling into Taylor Swift's Love Story.
God, that was bad. I'm sorry.
Looks like our girl Kay Adams is about to some real damage in Louisville, though. Will that make it up to you?
Can't wait for Kentucky Derby content from this weekend. One of the best events of the year. With Kay in town, you best buckle the hell up.
Head on a swivel, Shams!
Bud Light sales are going great across the country!
Giddy-up, Queen Kay!
The real question this weekend is how the Bud Light sales do at Churchill Downs?
As I said earlier, I sat in on Anheuser-Busch's Q1 earnings call this morning for obvious reasons. If I'm going to spend most days crapping on Bud Light, I need to be in the know. So, of course, I listened in for any and all Bud Light talk.
I wrote about it here, so take a look after you climb out of the Matty Healy wormhole. In short, the company is trying to distance itself from Dylan Mulvaney as much as possible, but they can't and won't outright say they screwed up because then the mob will be lined up outside HQ with pitchforks.
Anyway, Bud Light sales are down across the board over the past few weeks, and -- if you believe social media -- you'll see what I mean.
May the 4th Be With You, Star Wars babes, rogue stroller
By the way, as much as I'd love that last video to be real, I'm calling BS. I've been to a billion Red Sox games at Fenway and that one smells fishy. But hey, it's still funny.
Let's hope the hyperdrive works on this bad boy and make the jump to lightspeed on our way out.
Happy May the 4th to all who celebrate. If you don't, that's fine. Star Trek sucks, but to each his own. At least stick around for the Office scene I promised!
Anyway, it's a national holiday for us Star Wars fans, and one I very much intend to celebrate the only way Nightcaps can: by giving you my Mount Rushmore of Star Wars babe moments!
Sorry, that's the definitive list. No changing it. Not up for debate.
I know the prequels used to get a ton of crap, but how good are they now that we had to sit through Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker? Not even close.
Give me Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen and Ewan McGregor any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Elite time in Star Wars world.
Speaking of Jedi Knights ...
Talk about anxiety, especially as a parent of a toddler. I couldn't watch it more than once -- true story. Don't like rollercoasters and that, buddy, was a terrifying few seconds.
Someone get that guy a Yuengling STAT.
Here are some funny baseball memes to lighten the mood and take us into the night. Don't know why these keep popping up on my Facebook, but I'm all about it.
Rest up -- Cinco De Mayo is mañana.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Think Jessie James Decker and Taylor Swift drink Bud Light? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
