Jennifer Aniston In A Tiny Dress Has Instagram Barking, The NHL Has A New Playoff Boob Girl & Fake Joe Biden!
Happy Easter Monday … which is apparently a thing? Had no clue.
We're out of town for a wedding this week, and one of the downtown coffeeshops was closed because of "Easter Monday." Last time I checked, Jesus was alive and well by today some 2000 years ago. He was back to work. Back to the grind. He didn't take a holiday, and neither are we!
That being said … this will be my final class of the week. Like I said, it's wedding week for my brother. I'm in it right now. You ever seen a wedding drawn out for three days? Well, I'm about to.
Tuxedo pick-up. Welcome dinner. Bridal brunch. Golf game (not complaining about this one). Rehearsal. Rehearsal dinner. Ceremony. Reception. Sounds like a great week – especially with two kids!
But that's why I'm here on … Easter Monday … grinding like a patriot. No days off! Until tomorrow, of course. Let's roll.
Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we squeeze into a tiny red dress with Jennifer Aniston, and go from there.
What else? I've got the best of the rest from a LOADED weekend of #content, Joe Biden being photoshopped into an Easter front porch picture in the most obvious way possible, and the Disgusting Dems vs. Pete Hegseth on Twitter is a battle to keep a close eye on.
What a time to be alive. What a way to spend Easter Monday!
Grab you some red wine to celebrate, and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!
I can't stop looking at this Justin Blackmon mug
Didn't quite know where to start today, and then I remembered it was also NFL Draft week. I feel like I've asked this the last few years, but … does this draft feel ‘meh’ to anyone else?
I don't even know why, frankly. There's some decent intrigue, mainly with Shedeur Sanders – Colorado's newest retired player!
I mean, come on:
Hilarious. What a joke. So silly. Whatever, though. I don't wanna get into it again today. It's Easter Monday, after all.
Anyway, back to the draft … I do love the draft. The Dolphins haven't really been relevant in it since the Tua pick five years ago, but it's still fun.
Now, I won't be able to watch it Thursday because that's #WelcomeDinnerNight, but I'll see if I can convince my dad to throw it on the TV while the black-tie caterers walk around with some of those mini hot dog things.
I hear he's gonna have Busch Light at the open bar, though, so I reckon there's a chance.
I'm sure Anthony, Amber & Matt will have you all covered later in the week on all the prospective NFL Draft WAGs (they better, or there will be hell to pay next Monday).
As for my contributions, I'll just say I hope anyone drafted this week does better in life than Justin Blackmon:
What a week of #content!
Amazing. I remember when Justin Blackmon came out. He was supposed to be the next big thing. If I remember correctly, he played for the Jags and was a complete bust.
Actually, there's a way to find all of that out!
According to the Google machine, he was a 5th overall pick in 2012, played in 20 games for the Jags the next two seasons and finished with 93 receptions and six tuddies. The end.
Justin did go out with a bang, though, including a 14-catch game against the Broncos in 2013 before getting suspended for the SECOND time that season for violating the league's substance abuse policy.
Oh well. Looks like he's doing well!
Now, let's get to the #content from a weekend chalk-full of it. Happy Easter, from the Delta terminal in Birmingham!
Fake Joe, real fight & Pete vs. the Dems!
Another big weekend! Y'all came though, even on one of the slowest weekends of the year. Nice work!
Couple thoughts …
1. INSANE bat-flip for the Sox prospect. I've never seen anything like it. And it didn't even leave the park!
2. Happy Boston Marathon Day to all who celebrate! As I talk about every year, I was right down the road from the Marathon Bombing in 2013. Still the craziest week of my life (pictures to follow).
3. Welcome to class, NBC golf girl, Kira Dixon!
4. Welcome BACK to class, HOF NFL Draft WAG, Gia Duddy! Can't believe it's been two years since you burst onto the scene. Look at you now. Elite.
5. Wonderful shirt to kick off the NHL playoffs. Let's have a big few months.
6. What a score from the O's game! The good news? I had money on the OVER.
The bad news? It was on the Orioles' TT OVER 4.5 run. Shows you how hot I've been the past 12 months.
7. Pictures:
See? They obviously don't do it justice. This was 12 years ago, and I'm quite sure the iPhone 5C didn't have the best camera. But, you get the picture.
Insane week. No school. No leaving campus. There was talk late in the week of trash can bombs being planted throughout the city. You found yourself just listening to police scanners all night as they searched for that lunatic. They ended up finding him under a boat out in Watertown – just across from our old home baseball field. Insane.
OK, couple quickies on the way out. First up? Fake Joe!
Objectively, it's one of the funnier pictures on the internet right now – and that includes all the JD Vance/Pope memes. Just squeezing Joe into the tiny space at the top, in his full suit, is WILD work by whoever pulled it off.
I respect the hell out of it. And honestly? I sort of respect this little battle as well:
Goodness gracious. What a fight! The Deep State is going after Pete Hegseth today because he's not a warmonger. They can't stand it. They're terrified. Wars = Money. Pete shut down a bombing of Iran recently. They don't like that.
Looks like the Dems have spun the wheel, and it landed on Hegseth for this week. He'll be just fine. At least our guy doesn't have MS-13 tattoos!
Choose your fighter.
Personally, I'd choose these two over whatever the hell the Dems are throwing at us:
Take us home, Jen!
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa Nellie! That's what I'm talking about! Make NASCAR Great Again, baby! This is why I've always implored folks to head to your local short track on a Friday or Saturday night. There is nothing like it. Blows actual NASCAR out of the water.
Love the energy here to start the final full week of April. Let's keep it up, boys and girls.
OK, that's it for today. And, for me – this week! Amber, Matt and – perhaps – old friend Anthony Farris will lead class the rest of the week.
I'll be back next Monday, God-willin'. Be good. No funny business.
Take us home, Jennifer Aniston!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You think Joe was actually on the porch? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.