Jennifer Aniston Celebrates Her Emmy Poolside & Meet The 'Bikini Poet' Who's Now A Billionaire Lotto Winner
Well, I didn't think the week could get any worse. I mean, I was feeling pretty damn upbeat after last night's Trump convention. Tired, but upbeat.
Seriously, was that the longest speech of all time? I tapped out at 11:30. Couldn't do it anymore. I tried like hell, but Father Time got me.
Anyway, I should've stayed up a bit longer, because … we were robbed last night. Or this morning. Who knows when, but it happened. What a day.
I was sitting in my office this afternoon, getting ready for this class, when the First Lady comes in and shows me our neighborhood Facebook page. Yeah, we have one of those. Can't hide money!
Apparently, our neighborhood was hit last night by a bunch of scumbag thieves who have been terrorizing the Florida east coast over the past few weeks.
Now, I'm admittedly awful about locking my truck at night. Just terrible at it. I usually leave my keys AND wallet in it, wide open, every night. The First Lady gets on me all the time about it. I just scoff at it, as any good husband would do.
Anyway, I immediately stop what I'm doing and go outside. Lo and behold, it's chaos. Her car was ransacked. The garage was half-open because the clicker was in her car. Awesome. My truck? Locked. I locked it yesterday! Talk about a stunner.
Turns out, they ended up catching the scumbags down the road last night because – get this – one of our neighbors works for Air One and flew his helicopter over our neighborhood last night when calls started coming in, and he spotted the crooks a few houses down. True story.
What a hero. He drinks for free at the next HOA meeting!
Now, to the worst twist of all. About 20 minutes later, while the First Lady is talking to the police officer, I have a realization.
There's just no way I locked my truck last night. I never do. Why the hell would I have last night?
So, I went to the driver's side door, punched in the code, and opened it. Yep. Chaos. I was right. These idiots robbed my truck, TOOK THE KEYS that I had left in it, locked it, and then … left. That's it. They left the golf clubs in the back. They left the actual truck itself.
Instead, they just took the keys … and my pride. Who does that?
The good news, of course, is I have a spare set? Phew. Except, I don't. I have one set of keys, and they're now in custody.
The good news, again, is surely I'll get them back soon, right? Except they told us it could take up to a month to process everything in the crooks' car. A month!
Well, at least these idiots hopefully took some crap out of the garage, which desperately needed to be cleaned out. They did us a solid there, right?
Wrong. They didn't take anything notable in there, except a sixer of Ultra Right beer that I had by the door. True story. They left everything else, from what I could tell, at least.
I mean, what a day. What a week. Anyway, I'm off to the police department to fill out a report, give a statement, and nail these assholes to the wall. I want them behind bars until Trump's back in office, and then I want his administration to lay down the hammer in the way he promised last night.
Law & Order, baby. Drill baby drill! Justice will be served.
Now, let's get this class going.
What did we think of Kid Rock last night?
On that nearly 600-word note, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we blow off some steam with Jennifer Aniston and hope like hell to turn this week around as we head into a big weekend.
We'll get to Emmy-Jen in a bit, but first we need to talk about Kid Rock's performance last night. What did y'all think? Be honest. This is a safe space, I promise.
I'm obviously a Republican. Voted Trump twice, and I'll do it again here in a few months. So, this isn't a knock on the RNC from last night. Besides the speech being 8 hours long, I thought it was good.
But you can't sit here and tell me the Kid Rock song was good. You just can't. I was stunned. Just stunned. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Lord knows I wanted to. Am I wrong here? Is Kid Rock just not in my wheelhouse?
Admittedly, I only know two Kid Rock songs: that one he did with Sheryl Crow like 20 years ago, and the summer one. That's it. What I heard for four minutes last night was … not that. Not even close.
Now, that's not to say I didn't very much enjoy the #content it produced. I mean, seeing 65-year-old white people dance their asses off to a Kid Rock song was delightful. No doubt about it, as my buddy Cris Collinsworth would say:
Jennifer Aniston helps us cool down
That guy was an electric factory. I'll give him that. What a specimen. What an icon. God, I love this country. You think he's leaving his F-150 unlocked all night? No chance.
And if he is, he's just sitting out on his front porch with a rifle in hand, waiting for the scumbags to try it. Daring them.
Anyway, it was quite a night. Clearly, the Hulkster was the star of the show, at least in the eyes of OutKick fans.
From Ryan in OK:
Zach,
I’m sure you’re tuned in, but Hulk Hogan’s RNC speech may be one of the greatest I’ve ever heard. Just electric, and you know he actually means it.
100% agree with Ryan here. Hulk brought it so strong, I didn't know what to do. My head was spinning. Lord knows how the libs were feeling. They must've been beyond shook. What a moment for America.
The rest of the world is so cooked. How could Putin watch that and not be quaking in his boots? This country is so back it's not even funny. Look out, losers. We're coming for you. Tick, tick, tick.
OK, let's cool down with Jennifer Aniston, whose Apple TV hit, The Morning Show, earned 16 Emmy nominations last night. I haven't watched a second of it because I assume it's just typical woke drivel, but Rachel Green is always welcome to class – politics aside, of course.
Anyway, she started trending on Twitter last night after the Emmy nods, which led me down a wild wormhole on Elon's social media site.
The lottery poet, carnage at Royal Troon & Zuck loves Trump!
Welcome back to class, Jen! Needed that today. The turnaround starts NOW. Let's go have ourselves a big weekend now.
Rapid-fire time on the way out. First up? Carnage overseas!
I feel you, Brian. I get it. I'm just happy you got that crappy shot off in a timely manner. Goodness, have y'all ever watched Brian Harman play? Pure torture. Worse than sitting through the Kid Rock song.
Next? Looks like Mark Zuckerberg is coming around!
Zuck!!! Now, get to work and fix Facebook, because it's a liberal hellhole.
Finally, this story out of LA has me absolutely hooked:
Take us into the weekend, Payten Vincent
Billionaire Powerball winner Edwin Castro and his new self-described poet and bikini model girlfriend enjoyed a romantic date night on Wednesday, marking the first time the lovebirds appeared in public as a couple.
The self-described poet and bikini model smiled beside a joyful Castro, who wore a teal button-down shirt during the event.
Castro, 31, deleted his social media accounts after winning the $2 billion Powerball jackpot in 2022.
However, his new love interest has a whopping 125,000 Instagram followers, where she posed with rappers Flavor Flav and Kanye West and DJs Diplo and Cedric Gervais at high-end nightclubs.
Vincent, who describes herself as a former high school honor student and athlete, worked as a barista at Starbucks in Falmouth, Maine, and a Toronto Dominion bank teller before moving to LA, according to her LinkedIn profile.
What a love story. Talk about your good luck, huh? One day you're a Starbucks barista in Falmouth, the next you're a billionaire Instagram poet in Beverly Hills.
When Dana White told y'all about the American Dream last night, this is what he meant. Right here.
OK, that's it for today. I'm tired. And embarrassed.
See you Monday. (PS: She's a Burning Man gal? Least surprising thing ever)
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
We in on the Kid Rock anthem from last night? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.