Jana Kramer Has Buyer's Remorse, Kim Kardashian Gets Sued & Hippos On The Loose!

Happy Tuesday, Nightcaps family.

I hope your week is starting off well — or, at the very least, you're doing better than this person:

We are finally getting some warmer weather here in suburban Nashville, and it is about damn time. I feel like I've been living in a freezer for the past two months.

This coming Saturday marks six weeks until my Mammoth March — a 20-mile hike in Alabama's Oak Mountain State Park. It'll be the first of two I have scheduled for this spring (the second one is in Tennessee in May), and I have to start training.

How do you train for a 20-mile hike? You just walk. A LOT. And that's way more enjoyable to do when it's warmer than 12 degrees outside. I'll hit some trails on the weekends, per usual, but I'll have to settle for my treadmill and streets around my neighborhood during the work week.

And for those of you who are also into hiking… READ MY LATEST TRAIL REVIEW: Alum Cave Trail To Mount Le Conte

Anyone else ever done a Mammoth March (or something like it) and have tips? Can you recommend some interesting podcast episodes to pass the time while I'm walking endlessly around my neighborhood? Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com!

Enough exercise talk. I bet you're probably ready to dive into some of the day's most pressing headlines. Get comfy and pour yourself a beverage. It's Nightcaps time!

Jana Kramer Has Buyers Remorse …On Her Boobs

Jana Kramer doesn't regret getting breast implants. She regrets getting them for the wrong reason.

And yes, ladies, there is a right and a wrong reason to get a boob job. The right reason is because you want one. The wrong reason is because you're trying to impress some crusty ass man who doesn't appreciate you in the first place.

Fellas, that's some free advice you can pass down to your daughters.

But sweet Jana, unfortunately, fell victim to that second scenario. During the most recent episode of her Whine Down podcast, the singer/actress explained that she originally got breast enhancements because she thought it would make her cheating husband want her instead of his side pieces.

"My biggest regret with my boobs is that I don't know if I solely did it for me. And I think that's what I could say would be my biggest piece of advice is it has to be one hundred percent for you.

"I was in a marriage where a husband was cheating all the time, and I would see the women that he was cheating with, and I'm like, ‘I look nothing like them.' So when I was presented with it, I thought about it for a while, like, ‘Maybe if I had bigger boobs, he wouldn't cheat, or he'd find me sexier or something like that.'"

This loser who constantly cheated on Jana Kramer was an ex-NFL tight end named Mike Caussin. The two finalized their divorce in 2021 after six years of marriage.

I see a lot of bozos on Twitter who claim that "men cheat because wives get fat." Aside from the overall grossness of that statement, it's also just wrong. I can't tell you how many times, throughout the course of my career working in proximity to pro athletes, I have seen a man cheat on his absolute DIME PIECE wife with a woman who looks like a potato. 

I cannot confirm if Caussin was having sex with potatoes, but I find it hard to believe he was pulling a bunch of women who were hotter than Jana Kramer — boob job or no boob job.

Caussin later admitted to having multiple affairs during his marriage to Jana before seeking treatment for a sex addiction.

And we all know "sex addiction" is really just the ultimate cheater-who-gets-caught cop out. Because if you're an adult human man who loves sex, I am happy to inform you that it's actually quite normal and not a psychological condition.

Anyway, back to Jana's boobs. Ultimately, she got the last laugh.

"Obviously, I loved it," Jana said. "I had a lot of fun with them post-divorce."

Jana is remarried now to a Scottish former soccer star named Allan Russell, so good for her.

And good for him, too.

Kim Kardashian Got The Wrong Guy

I'm not talking about Kanye, although I guess that's applicable, too.

If you follow Kim Kardashian on Instagram, you know she usually uses the platform to post heavily airbrushed photos of herself. Every once in a while, though, she feels compelled to champion some sort of humanitarian or social justice cause.

Around this time last year, Kim K. posted a photo of convicted murderer Ivan Cantu in a post advocating for criminal justice reform. Cantu was awaiting the death penalty in Texas at the time.

"The State will execute Ivan Cantu in 2 days. Please sign the petition to demand that Colin County DA Greg Willis request to withdraw the execution date," she in the post, along with a black-and-white photo of Cantu.

Just one little problem, though — she got the wrong Ivan Cantu. Instead of posting the killer in Texas, she posted a photo of some random project manager from Westchester, N.Y.

How she messed that one up is beyond me. You should probably have some sort of fact-checking system implemented (beyond a hasty Google search) when you're posting for 350+ million followers.

But it's a lesson learned for Kim. Because the Ivan Cantu who wasn't executed has now filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles Superior Court against the SKIMS founder, claiming he’s faced "hatred, contempt and/or ridicule" ever since the mix-up — causing him emotional distress and anxiety.

Cantu is suing her for unspecified damages, claiming his reputation has been harmed.

I'm not saying anyone wants to be mistaken for a convicted murderer, but man did New York Ivan Cantu hit the lottery or what?!

Kim Kardashian is worth $1.7 billion dollars. She's going to throw a few milly at him to drop the suit and call it a day. It won't affect her at all, but he'll never have to go back to his project manager job ever again.

Absolute jackpot.

And for the record, I don't blame the guy. I'd do the exact same thing. (Not that I don't love writing for OutKick dot com, but I'd much rather be doing it from a luxury beachfront villa with a few million dollars in the bank.)

Until then, though, I'll keep answering reader emails from my humble home office in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. And I got a lot of them last week.

Apparently, I Forgot Some Girl Bands

Excuse me, OutKick readers. I was unfamiliar with your game.

Last Tuesday, I wrote about Conor McGregor's new girl band, which led me down a lengthy tangent about the best girl bands of all time. I realize there's a generational bias here (I'm a Millennial), but I did include The Supremes and Bananarama on my list for representation.

I thought y'all were going to hate me for rambling on about girl bands through half of Tuesday's Nightcaps, but au contraire! Imagine my surprise when my email inbox overfloweth on Wednesday morning. Turns out, OutKick readers love girl bands — particularly the Go-Go's and the Bangles …but mostly Susanna Hoffs. 

Admittedly, I had to Google her, but fellas, I get it.

Anyway, here are your corrections and additions to my list:

Thomas from Dixon: Martha and the Vandellas. I’m old, they were great. Any group with Darlene Love, there were a few.

Greg E: No way Bananarama comes in ahead of The Bangles or The Donnas on a list of girl bands (and I say this as someone firmly in the GenX cohort).

Michael M: Heart, Bangles, Runaways — just a few to add to the mix tape!

Chris B: Heart (I know, just the two sisters, but they were awesome in concert circa ’79), Go-Go’s, Bangles (if only for launching the still-stunning Susanna Hoffs), Veruca Salt, MonaLisa Twins (great Beatles cover band out of Austria or somewhere over there)

Richard S: The Go-Go's and The Bangles!

Keith K: Heart, Vixen, The Bangles, Wilson Phillips

Jon C: Nothing overtly wrong with your list, but to me, a band implies playing instruments. Not sure, but I don’t think anyone on your list qualifies. Which brings me to my suggestion — The Go-Go’s.

Owen K: I’m not one to respond to anything, and I’m not on social media, BUT the Best Girl Band is The Supremes, and it’s not even close. Come on, it’s Diana Ross.

Frankey from Alabama: Any discussion of greatest all-girl bands should include the Bangles. They would get my vote as number one.

Earl K: The Runaways, greatest female band ever.

Joe from Cal Poly: You forgot the Go-Go's.

Homebrew Bill: IMHO, the funky divas of En Vogue were hands down better than pre-country wannabe Beyoncé and Destiny's Child. But I'm a 50yr-old white male, so take that opinion with a grain of salt. 

Kirk B: The Go-Go's, Pussycat Dolls, The Bangles, Sister Sledge, The Pointer Sisters

Michael S: The lack of The Bangles on your list of girl bands, especially when you have Bananarama on there, is a serious flaw in my humble opinion. "Manic Monday" still rocks to this day, one cannot help but sing along to "Walk Like An Egyptian," and their cover of "Hazy Shade Of Winter" is far superior to Simon and Garfunkel's version.

Plus, the Bangles have Susanna Hoffs. That alone puts them on the short list of best girl bands.

Also, not even giving The Go-Go's an honorable mention is inexcusable.

I will commend you for a) even knowing who Bananarama is and b) being aware of The Supremes.  It is always nice when someone young is not completely ignorant of music history.

Bob V: Either Bangles or Go-Go’s are in the top 5!  And the girls on Gilligans Island top 10.

Rick G: Does Salt-n-Pepa count as a girl band or are duos a different thing? Whatever, that's my vote.

‘I Have Had It With These Motherf-ing Snakes On This Motherf-ing …Couch’

On today's edition of "everything in Australia is trying to kill you," some homeowners Down Under had to call a snake removal service when they saw a highly venomous red-bellied black snake slithering around their couch.

Snake Catcher Dan shows up to the guy's house only to find out the snake has found its way INSIDE the couch. It was a large, L-shaped couch with plenty of places for the danger noodle to hide.

Snake Catcher Dan shared in a Facebook video that it took "nearly an hour of searching" before he located the venomous reptile inside the couch, in a spot where he could reach it.

Thank God the man saw the snake before it burrowed into the sofa. Imagine taking a couch nap or watching a movie in the dark and… surprise! That thing comes crawling across your leg.

I would be dead — fully deceased. Have Snake Catcher Dan drop me off at the morgue.

And while we're on the topic of snakes where snakes aren't supposed to be, here's an eastern brown snake that made its way into a washing machine somewhere on the Gold Coast. According to the Australian Museum, the brown snake's venom contains "powerful presynaptic neurotoxins, procoagulants, cardiotoxins and nephrotoxins," with "successful envenomation" potentially resulting in "progressive paralysis and uncontrollable bleeding."

Along came Tim Hudson of Hudson Snake Catching to remove the little demon spawn.

Snake removal services in Australia are probably as common as pressure washers and landscapers here in Middle Tennessee.

But lest you Americans get too complacent and think you're safe because Australia is on the other side of the world, here's a copperhead in a laundry room in Virginia.

One More Thing: Hippos On The Loose!

In Australia, they have snakes. In South Africa, they have… hippos.

A video has gone viral of a group of hippos who took themselves out for a night on the town in St. Lucia, South Africa, late last month. They may or may not have been hungry, hungry.

I just learned that a group of hippos is called a "bloat." Which is actually very accurate — because a bloated hippo is exactly what I feel like when I hit Taco Bell after way too many beers on a Friday night.

Apparently, wandering hippos are a common occurrence at St. Lucia because of iSimangaliso Wetland Park, which is home to about 800 hippopotami. A giant bloat!

Signs that say "warning: hippos at night" line the streets there so that unsuspecting tourists don't find themselves face to face with one of these big, fat river horses.

Seeing a hippo take a stroll down the sidewalk would actually be kind of cool. Except that hippos are mean as sh*t and kill about 500 people a year in Africa. 

On the bright side, you probably won't find one hiding in your couch.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.