Jake Browning's Girlfriend Should Be A Starter, Bears Fans Burn Justin Fields Jersey & Mike McDaniel Calls Plays From The Stands

Welcome to Monday Nightcaps, otherwise known as the appetizer to Monday Night Football, Jake Browning (we think) and -- most importantly -- Jake Browning's girlfriend, Stephanie Niles.

Some sites like to dive into the Xs and Os of the backup QB. We zig while they zag, and do a deep dive into their personal life. Sometimes we find nothing. Sometimes, we find diamonds in the rough.

Wonder which one we found this time!

We'll talk Stephanie in a bit, but I also wanna discuss Travis Kelce. Because I'm out. O.U.T. Done. Finished. I can't stand him anymore. And you know what? It's not even the Taylor Swift stuff that annoys me most. The sh*tshow that was yesterday was just the final nail in the coffin.

It's the COVID stuff. The Bud Light stuff. The constant nonsense. I can't take it anymore. It's just the worst and I know everyone here agrees with me because you all are sane. Screencaps released an official statement on the Swift-Kelce stuff this morning, so we'll do the same here at Nightcaps.

What else should we hit today? Sean Payton getting dragged through the internet streets after he got stuffed in Tua's locker yesterday? Yep. Easy one.

Jets fans being in absolute shambles because it turns out Zach Wilson still sucks? Gee, didn't see that one coming! We'll check in.

How about National One-Hit Wonder Day?! That's today, for those who don't know, and it's right down our alley here at Nightcaps.

I get knocked down, but I get up again!

Grab a Yuengling and get you a bowl of some Skyline Chili in honor of Jake Browning. It's a Nightcaps Monday!

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift ruined NFL Sunday

OK, so here's the official Nightcaps statement on Travis Kelce, in response to Joe making me read more Kelce/Swift crap this morning.

"Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift made the single greatest day of the week -- NFL Sunday -- absolute hell yesterday afternoon and for that, I will never, ever forgive them. Clay suggested he 'cut his dick off' in a Twitter post and while I wouldn't wish that on anybody, it may be where we're headed. We'll see."

I've been out on Travis Kelce for a while now, mainly because he's just constantly in the news cycle. He's never seen a microphone he won't yell into, and I'll never forget him somehow making us believe the CHIEFS were disrespected last year. Huh?

But what really set me off his latest COVID shot commercial. I can't do it anymore. Even my wife -- the First Lady! -- checked in yesterday after the stupid ad popped up on her Instagram and she was appalled. I believe her official statement was, "gross." And she's 100% right.

Kelce is a sellout and now he's trying to become even bigger by latching onto Taylor Swift. We can't let it happen. It has to stop.

Also, anyone who goes to a football game and then does this after should 100% take Clay's advice.

Jake Browning is here to save the Bengals and so is Stephanie Niles

Just the worst.

Anyway, back to people who don't annoy the crap out of me.

I have no idea if Joe Burrow's gonna play tonight. Personally, I think it would be really stupid seeing as Aaron Rodgers played with a calf that wasn't 100% and immediately shredded his Achilles.

The Bengals can come back from an 0-3 hole if Jake Browning can't get the job done tonight. Trotting out a hobbled Joey B for a Week 3 game against the Rams seems like a poor idea, but whatever.

Anyway, all that to say Jake Browning can absolutely get the job done tonight. He was a stud in college and he's got a girlfriend who's more than ready to be the new QB1 in Cincinnati.

I'm all in on Stephanie Niles.

Let's check in with Sean Payton

Yeah, I think the Bengals will be just fine with Jake Browning in command. Hell, sit Joe Burrow until the playoffs at this point.

You know who ain't making the playoffs? The Denver Broncos and Sean Payton. They got humiliated by the Greatest Show On Turf yesterday and Sean took it out on a reporter after the game.

Boy, the tension in Denver is gonna be must-see this week. Now, I bring that up because for those who didn't think yesterday was personal (S/O Deion Sanders!) for Mike McDaniel and Tua Tagovailoa haven't been paying attention.

McDaniel used to be the Broncos' ball boy. The ball boy! Tua, meanwhile, was called an inferior QB to Teddy Bridgewater by Sean Payton exactly one year ago.

Teddy Bridgewater!

I mean, good lord. That was dumb last year and it's beyond stupid now that it's resurfaced. ROUGH few weeks for Sean Payton, who got dragged through the mud for the Hackett comments and is now 0-3 and on the wrong side of NFL history.

We're having FUN in Miami, though. If you sat through Cam Cameron and Tony Sparano (RIP) and Adam Gase and Brian Flores, you deserved yesterday.

Now, it's Bills week. Let's lock the hell in. Get out of the stands, Mike! We're on to Buffalo.

Now, let's check in with the rest of the NFL

A mid-season name change! What a flex from the rook! To be fair, he's also teammates with Robbie Anderson/Chosen Anderson/Robbie Chosen, so this was bound to happen.

You know who else wants a name change? Zach Wilson. For some reason the Jets keep throwing him out there and it just gets worse by the week.

Jets Twitter is handling it well at least:

Serious question: who is in more hell right now? Jets fans or Bears fans?

Speaking as a Justin Fields fantasy owner, I'd go with the latter. But it's close. Now, Jets fans burned their Zach Wilson jerseys looooooooong ago, so those videos are old news.

But it appears the folks in Chicago are just getting started!

That Dabo video will never not be funny. Any chance I have to resurrect it, I take. No questions asked. What a lunatic.

Vikings could've used some of that energy yesterday:

Sara Cardona and Sauce Gardner's nuts take us into the week

The Vikings will always Viking and the Chargers will always Charger. Just depends on which does it worse. Yesterday, it was the Vikings -- barely.

Nice fourth down call, Brandon Staley. Boy, he's awful. Zero shot he sees next season. May not see Thanksgiving.

Couple quickies before we fire up the Jake Browning hype train.

First, Mac Jones inexplicably slapping Sauce Gardner in the balls:

Dick move. Yes, obvious pun, but also that's what it was. Just a dick move by Mac here. My Alabama QB would never.

Speaking of one-hit wonders ...

Happy National One Hit Wonder Day to all who celebrate! You know what time it is:

Honestly, I thought that Mount Rushmore would be easy, but there are a shocking amount of songs considered one-hit wonders out there. Hell, basically every banger from the 1990s is considered one.

Frankly, the last one is pretty weak on my part. I don't even like that song but it was so big during my childhood I couldn't leave it off. I feel pretty good about the others, though. Sister Hazel has some other bangers, so I'm not positive that one works here.

This song played on the FM radio every single day for about three years ... it also makes zero sense.

When I describe the 1990s to my kid, I'm just gonna show them this video and let the chips fall where they may. Whatever I say won't paint a better picture of that glorious time than that video. It's perfect.

And on that note, let's head into the week with Miami's newest reporter Sara Cardona -- a Nightcaps OG who remains undefeated.

Can't imagine why.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Are Jake Browning and Stephanie Niles about to take the Bengals to the Super Bowl? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.