Ivanka Trump Kicks Her Jiu-Jitsu Instructor's Ass & Sends A Sign To The Libs, Pickleball Brawl & LEEBS' House
Day one of summer break & there's already drama over the microwave (it went out as I was writing this column); Plus, school clap-outs are another horrible idea created by suburban moms that just want content for their social media channels
Screencaps Jr. can't get the microwave going for his breakfast. He and Screencaps the III decide to get into a cage match at 7:40 a.m.
Going through my head this morning:
- Is it going to be a long summer?
- How long until I utter, "Get your asses outside, I have work to do"?
By the way, I have to address the school clap-out thing for every grade of kids that leaves a school building. When did this start? It has to be the creation of suburban moms in the mid-2000s as some sort of social media content play.
Being supportive parents, on Thursday, we went to the 6th grade clap-out of the building our kids go to for 5th and 6th grades. A bunch of parents — let's be honest, the parking situation was a disaster with all the grocery-getters & SUVs piled into a neighborhood — lined up along a path outside the school and watched as over 1,000 kids walked past us. 500-plus 5th graders had to walk the path to get to the buses. Then another 500-plus 6th graders walked the path as part of the clap-out.
Let's just say the kids didn't seem too enthused. The look on their faces said that they just wanted to get summer started. Meanwhile, there were all the parents trying to steal their thunder of feeling free for more than 15 minutes in their lives.
It left me thinking this was just an extension of helicopter parenting. Spoiler: It is.
Is there a moment outside of maybe the senior class where it's necessary to have a clap-out?
And while we're at it, why are we having 8th grade graduations? You haven't graduated from shit at 14 years old.
EMAIL: JOE.KINSEY@OUTKICK.COM OR USE MY PERSONAL GMAIL
Is there a decline in etiquette at graduations?
• Jonathan from Mobile says it is:
My son graduated high school a week or two ago and, yes, standards of dress are definitely going down. A lot of people were in shorts, but the most egregious attire were the people who had screen-printed t-shirts with their son's/daughter's picture on them. I'm pretty sure there isn't a better indicator that you are going to peak in high school than of your parents wear a pixelated photo of you to your graduation.
Thanks to screencaps nation again for the beer recommendations for Switzerland, attached is my first Rugenbrau I had on the trip
— Buckeyes fan Mike writes:
My 33 yo daughter graduated with a degree in Finance last Saturday. She's also a single mom that works full-time. Incredible achievement at this point in her life.
The school is Lamar University in Beaumont, Texas. Held indoors at their basketball arena, people were dressed very well. Women in dresses everywhere. Men in button up shirts & dress slacks. Overall experience would be 8.5/10.
I will admit to tears as she walked the stage & received her diploma. Happy for her but sad that I won't be called upon to babysit my now 5 yo granddaughter once if not twice a week while mom's studying.
Kinsey:
That's great to hear. Kudos to the parents who sent their kids to Lamar University for refusing to be graduation ceremony degenerates.
— Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston tells me:
My son graduated from high school last weekend, and I totally agree with Sheriff John that people disrespect their kids by showing up under dressed. I asked a friend beforehand what the attire would be, and he said "people will be wearing everything. I will be wearing a suit".
I wore a suit with no tie, and my friend was spot on. The biggest extreme that I saw was a man in a Tommy Bahama shirt, shorts & Hey Dude shoes... and behind him in line there was a man in a full tuxedo.
There were lots of people in jeans, sneakers and golf shirts. And even some wearing shorts & flip-flops. Keep in mind this was a Catholic high school graduation held in a church with a full mass. My nephew graduates from a big public high school next weekend at NRG Stadium (yes, the 70,000+ seat building where the Texans play).
I can only imagine what I will see people wearing there, but I expect to look like a fish out of water in my suit with no tie again.
Kinsey:
Texas, we have a problem. This is now multiple reports about how Texans are degenerates. To be fair, being a degenerate seems to be a national issue, but you guys are officially on notice.
I know southerners think the Indy 500 is some golf shirt elitist race, so let's take a look at what it looked like 41 years ago
It's seedier than you think. I've seen people walking around that track with drugs taped to their ankles so they wouldn't lose said drugs in the Snake Pit party zone.
The 500 is seedy. Speedway, Indiana is even seedier.
‘Costco is paying attention’
— Kevin says:
Joe, Kirkland TP dust saga update from MD.
We’re out of TP wife is making a Costco run. Ask her to grab Charmin instead of Kirkland bc the dust issue – I’m the one that cleans the bathrooms and it’s frustrating.
She gets there tells me it’s way more expensive and then says oh wait it’s on sale…
Tell me Costco isn’t paying attention to this blog. You know there’s people who work at Costco that read this every day. SC impacting America in ways never conceived before.
Kinsey:
What a week it has been, Kevin. Monday morning, I was still reeling from the heart-to-heart Mrs. Screencaps had with me Sunday morning over the toilet paper. Now here we are with a full-fledged toilet paper investigation & a legitimate phone number connection to Costco's toilet paper buyer.
The TOP toilet paper buyer for my favorite members'-only big box club.
Why me? Why this battle?
I stand by the fact that I was put on Earth to fight these fights. I believe this was my calling in life. Some people were put here to be economists. I was put here to fight bathroom dust issues.
The Sovereign Wealth Fund explained by Screencaps readers
— Resident Econonomist Jared in central Ohio explains the Sovereign Wealth Fund to Kevin in Toboso, Ohio:
A sovereign wealth fund (SWF) is a government owned investment vehicle that is typically funded by revenues from natural resources (though the funding does not need to originate from natural resources). The fund is owned by the government, though the operation of the fund could be anyone (e.g., the government's ministry of finance [e.g., the Treasury Department of the United States], the government's central bank [ e.g., the Federal Reserve], or an outside private investment group).
These funds typically have two purposes. The first is to diversify the revenue stream of the government, which can stabilize government revenue during recessions when tax revenues fall. The second is to invest money earned now into assets that will hold future value. This is important for governments that earn substantial money from natural resources today, because those natural resources may be less valuable in the future or may be exhausted, so future generations would not receive the benefit from the resources. You can think of SWFs as present day society paying forward to tomorrow's society.
How well these SWFs work depends on the transparency of the fund with funding and investment decisions and the quality of investments made (e.g., was investing in LIV a good idea for Saudi Arabia's SWF?). Since the details for a US SWF is unclear as of writing, it is impossible to judge how a US fund would operate.
The academic literature on SWFs is surprisingly limited, though I suggest this article from the Journal of Economic Perspectives to understand the investment strategies of SWFs and this article from the Journal of Economics and Business for additional details. Both are accessible for lay audiences.
I hope this answers Kevin's inquiries.
— Mark in Tennessee adds:
Kevin in Ohio asked about a sovereign wealth fund. Simply put, it is like an individual investment account, except that is owned by the national government (the "sovereign"), and the gains from the fund are to be used for the economic benefit of the citizens of that country. At the creation of the fund, an investment policy is also created that defines what invests can or cannot be placed into the fund. Most existing sovereign wealth funds allow for investments in stocks, bonds, and real estate. Additionally, policy is set for what the gains in the fund can be used for and the percentage that is available for programs versus how much is reinvested back into the fund. The source of money that goes into the fund usually comes from revenue generated by state ("sovereign") owned assets. Think: oil and gas revenue from leases or actual production.
I had to look this up, but surprisingly, Norway has the largest sovereign wealth fund with an estimated current balance of $1.74 TRILLION dollars. Last year, that fund generated revenue of $222 billion dollars, some of which was reinvested back into the fund and some spent on government programs for the citizenry.
I think it is a great idea, but limitations have to be placed on how the proceeds or profits are used. I started to say that Congress spends like drunken sailors on shore leave, but then I realized that would have insulted drunken sailors on shore leave. Congress cannot get their hands on the proceeds without limitation because they will squander it.
I really appreciate the community that you have put together and all the diverse topics that get discussed.
— CB flexes a little bit:
For what it’s worth, I work in the Financial sector (Wealth Management, Investments, etc.)…That sounds pretty pompous doesn’t it??
Anyway…
Thought I would answer Kevin in Toboso’s question re: Sovereign Wealth Fund. A sovereign wealth is a state-owned investment fund comprised of money generated by the government, usually from surplus reserves. SWFs provide a benefit for a country's economy and its citizens. That’s the generic definition. The U.S. doesn’t currently have a SWF at the Federal level, but states like Alaska and Texas have state level Wealth Funds. Funding for SWFs typically come from surplus reserves from state-owned natural resource revenues, trade surpluses, bank reserves accumulated from budgeting excesses, foreign currency operations, money from privatizations, and/or governmental transfer payments.
The way it works is a government owned entity (probably under Treasury Dept.) would take the money in the fund and make investments in things like stocks, binds, real estate, infrastructure and/or private equities ideally spread out across markets, countries and currencies. The returns are used to grow the funds and pay out a dividend (usually annually) to all citizens. For example Alaskans get an annual dividend each year that averages about $1600 from the state-owned fund.
The biggest hurdle to having a SWF at the Federal level is that we don’t have a budget surplus, not even close. So they would need to think of some other way to actually fund the SWF. Something else to consider, would you really want the Federal government managing investments? Put it this way, if the Feds were in charge of medical research, we would have the world’s greatest Iron Lung, but we’d never have found a cure for Polio. Plus, with all the waste and fraud at the Federal level it would require TREMENDOUS controls, oversight and transparency…
In theory, it’s a great idea, but in reality it may not be achievable at the Federal level. But there is hope at the State level, there are at least 10 states that I’m aware of that have SWFs. They include Texas (2 different funds), Alaska, New Mexico and Wyoming. They’re all funded by either Oil, minerals or public lands.
— CFA Dan from Boston helps out:
Sovereign Wealth Funds are exactly what they sound like - large investment funds operated by countries (instead of an investment company like Fidelity or Vanguard). They are most common in countries in the Middle East (Saudis, UAE) or Nordic regions with large oil reserves that generate a lot of cash. They need to use that cash to generate ongoing income/wealth to fund social programs so they created large investment funds to put that money to work.
They generally invest the money across the typical asset classes - equity (stocks), fixed income (bonds), real estate, alternatives (hedge funds, private equity). They generally have professional investment management staff and outsource the individual investment mandates in each asset class to external investment managers who have expertise in that particular area. They will put out requests for proposal (RFPs) for investment firms to bid on their business. The large SWFs are known for big investment mandates (large $ amounts invested) and for paying low fees and demanding high service at the same time.
I'm not making any political judgments on Trump's call for a USA SWF. It's certainly out-of-the-box thinking for the US. We do have large, untapped natural resource reserves and that's what he's thinking about. There will be howling about cronyism and conflicts with whoever got picked to manage the $. However, there are many government entities today that have external investment managers - the Federal Thrift Savings Plan (much like a 401k for Federal employees), The Federal Reserve, Amtrak, and other government entities have external managers that run retirement plans and invest that money professionally at low cost.
Umpire etiquette from an umpire who has seen a few things
— Dave in Minnesota checks in:
As you may know, I umpired over 5000 games in my life. Saw somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 million pitches. I can freely admit that a few calls were wrong. However, I had a good enough working relationship with the catchers that if I missed one, they would usually let me know. Sometimes, I would admit to that before they would tell me. I would usually follow that comment with another one acknowledging that the next 50/50 pitch would definitely be a strike.
Umpires should never - NEVER! - follow players, coaches or managers to incite or carry on an argument. My style was to send the catcher to the mound to diffuse the situation. Kept players in the game, which kept fans happy, which kept them from yelling at me.
When a catcher took a foul tip, I would walk a new ball to the mound, then on the way back, kick dirt onto the plate so I could dust it off and talk to the catcher to make sure he was ready to continue. Little things like that earned a bit of respect, and from that, a bit of leniency if I happened to miss a call.
Where would be the ultimate place to lay stripes for a retiree?
— Scott in San Diego writes for the first time:
Seeing Steve from Gresham, OR post about Arlington National Cemetery brought back a question that came up the last time I was there for an historical studies tour with my daughter. Arlington National is a plush wonderland of grass, and the landscapers do an amazing job of lining up the stripes and making that place look amazing. After spending the day there and hearing stories about various people buried there, it made me think about being retired and where would I rather work as a groundskeeper –
Ultimately, the question is, if you were to be assigned a job mowing one place in the country for the rest of your life, where would that be?
Now, you get to ride the lawnmower, and cold beer is included in the contract. I came down to 2 places, Augusta National and Arlington National Cemetery. Augusta would be amazing because the grass is pristine, and it would be a dream come true to wake up every day and lay stripes at Augusta.
However, I think it might get a little boring after a while. At Arlington, it is history lesson every day. You could pick 5 people a day and learn about their lives an where they came from. So many heroic stories to learn about those who heroes buried there. Plus, the added benefit of lining up stripes and tombstones really takes some talent.
Where else would you pick to lay stripes in your golden years?
Thanks for all you do, and for the screencaps community!!!
Kinsey:
Excellent question, but I think this one is actually easy — Arlington and it's not even close.
Remember: Augusta National goes dormant and is closed during the summer. There's no mowing during the period of the year when mowing enthusiasts want to be mowing. The place is closed from May through October.
At Arlington National, you're giving back to your country and those who gave their lives to this country. Sign me up.
Fly those flags this weekend
— Tim T. reports:
God Bless America and the Free State of Florida!
— Todd from Idaho sends:
Here’s our Memorial Day Flag picture, from an undisclosed location in North Idaho. Undisclosed because the wifer and I do not want to encourage anyone to move here.
Our neighbor Roger mows our back forty, so I cannot technically, morally, or legally wear the Thursday Night Mowing League shirt, but we did order one for him - 2x down from a 3X! Keep up the great work Roger!
God Bless everyone this Memorial Day weekend. Hope your world is as awesome as you deserve.
######################
And that is a wrap for this Friday morning. Send me those flag photos. Let's remember what this weekend is all about and kick off summer as best we can as a huge swath of the country deals with very unusual temperatures.
I will be here Saturday and Monday mornings with fresh editions of Screencaps as we close in on 1,000 consecutive columns. Now is not the time to quit.
Have a safe holiday weekend and never forget how fortunate we are to call this home.
Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com