Italian Province Is Creating A DNA System To Crack Down On People Who Don't Pick Up After Their Dogs
There are a lot of people in the world, but I don't think there's anyone who bothers me more than the people who refuse to pick up after their dogs. It has to be a sign of some high-level narcissism or something, because just letting your dog rip deuces with impunity and not caring that the rest of us now have to dodge a fecal minefield is some wild behavior.
If only there were people — no, heroes — willing to stand up to these monsters...
It turns out that there are and they reside in the Italian province of Bolzano. That's in the northern part of the country. Thankfully, officials there are trying to hunt down these menaces like Dateline's Chris Hanson used to pursue creeps in online chat rooms.
I've never been to Bolzano, but apparently, this is a massive problem there. Big enough that provincial officials decided something needed to be done, and that something is a dog dookie DNA database.
According to Sky News, more than a quarter of the province's pooches have been registered in this database. The idea is that they take a sample from an offending pile and run it through the system. That will let them know whose dog it was and the owner will be fined accordingly.
It's like the National DNA Index System, or NDIS, only for dog s--t.
And I think we need it here in the US of A.
Signs aren't enough for residents in the Italian province of Bolzano to clean up after their dogs. Maybe a DNA system that will help assess fines to offending owners will do the trick?
The Not Picking Up After Dogs Madness Has Gone On Long Enough, Give Me A DNA System
I'm usually not a big fan of submitting DNA. It amazes me how people used to be scared of putting their addresses on the internet. Now, people line up to spit in a tube and mail their genetic material to some lab to learn if their ancestors were Vikings.
That's never really been my thing. However, I will happily submit some of my dog's DNA to the government if it means emptying the wallets of people who can't be bothered to bag up some droppings.
The problem would end within months.
Never again would a quick jaunt around my apartment complex end with using a toothpick to clean the treads of my sneakers...
The Bolzano folks have done it right. They know that this program is going to rake in the dough. Forget parking meters. Start testing some dog poop and watch the money come rolling in.
Bolzano will have several new public parks and a new soccer stadium thanks to this program, mark my words.
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