Internet Helps Dolphins Fan Looking For Woman He Met At Game, But Did He Shoot His Shot Too Late?

Guys, we really need to talk. It wasn't a great weekend for heterosexual men hitting on women.

At Alabama, we had Stone Cold Steve going a full 27 seconds without being able to unhook his date's bra and now we have Dolphins fan "Homie" pleading with the Internet for help locating the woman he failed to shoot his shot with.

“Anyone know where I can find this girl from section 347 Row 5?” Homie begged the Internet after the Dolphins spanked the Panthers 42-21.

By Monday, Homie announced he'd been provided a path into the brunette's DMs. "The waiting game begins," he told his supporters who are on the edge of their seats.

The waiting game. LOL.

When asked why he didn't just shoot his shot when the woman posed for a photo, Homie gave a lame excuse. "Got caught up in the moment of the win and we had to take someone to the airport so we were rushing out,” he tweeted.

What?

Let me hypothesize how this whole situation went down in section 347:

Then, when Homie receives a direct line of communication, this is how he DMs her:

Guys, we have to be better. We have to teach our sons to be better. We have to remind them that rejection is part of the game, but if you're not going to shoot your shot in the heat of battle, there's no one to blame but yourself when it's more nights at home alone with a Playstation 5.

I really hope for the best for Homie. I know this is harsh analysis and it might feel like I'm picking on Homie, but at some point, as men, we have to draw lines in the sand. We have to just say, "I'm going for it," and if you fail in battle, you fail.

Yes, I have a very bad feeling that Orange Tank will ghost Homie and use this attention to her advantage in the form of suite tickets to the next home game while Homie is up in 347.

And he will be the guy in the Google Search history who struck out with the Orange Tank Top woman.

Guys, get it together or you're going to leave it up to Elon Musk to repopulate the world. That's a lot of work for one cocksman. Help him help the world.

Now, let's hope there's a happy ending to this story. Us guys can't take more Ls this week.