Internet Drags J-Lo Over New Film, Saints WAG Plays Matchmaker & Jets Lure Mike Williams With Sandwich
My vacation was horrible. Thank you for asking.
It didn’t start out that way. I landed in Phoenix on Wednesday at the crack of 7:30 a.m. — rested and ready to drink all the margaritas, watch all the baseball and climb all the red-rock mountains. Weather was 75 and sunny. Chef’s kiss, as the kids would say.
I got myself a pedicure, ate some tasty chorizo, did a little bar hopping and took a nap by the pool. That night, I even made some new friends — including Steve and Doug from Calgary, who played in the CFL before I was born. They kindly invited me to the Grey Cup in November. (Think OutKick would get me credentialed? Seems like a legitimate work trip to me.)
So all was well until I woke up Thursday with a runny nose and a sore throat. Ruh-roh. Maybe against my better judgment, I decided to climb Camelback Mountain anyway. Brutal. Worth it.
Check out this view:
(Amber Harding)
By the time dinner rolled around Thursday night, I was fully and unequivocally ill. Couldn’t breathe. Totally spent. The fever, chills and body aches rolled in just in time for the weekend. I tried to muster the energy for one Spring Training game. Left in the fourth inning when I almost passed out on some poor stranger. And I didn’t win the 50/50 raffle, either, so it was truly a disappointment all around.
Basically, I took off work and flew across the country just to lay in my hotel bed and pitifully FaceTime my husband, crying about how much I just wanted to be at home cuddling the dog and eating soup.
Y’all, when I tell you I have not been sick in YEARS, I am so serious. I never got COVID, and I cruise past every cold and flu season — one finger in the air — without a sniffle. Ironclad immune system. I am invincible.
Or so I thought.
So whatever force in the universe thought it was funny to completely ruin my first trip back to the Valley in seven years with whatever plague I contracted, I hope you choke on that ballpark hot dog I was too nauseous to eat.
Friends, pull up a seat and grab a beer. (I’d have one with you, but the Tylenol Cold & Flu box told me not to.) It’s Nightcaps time!
Jennifer Lopez Is Getting Dragged All Over TikTok
Oh, J-Lo. You might be wearing out your welcome.
If you've watched any of Jennifer Lopez's recent movies, you know there's only one word to describe them: bad. They are bad. Just terrible acting, stupid storylines — purely self-indulgent opportunities for J-Lo to show off how good she looks. And no one's arguing that. She does look damn good.
But Jennifer outdid herself with this new one. This Is Me Now: A Love Story is a "narrative-driven odyssey" that "tells the story of Jennifer Lopez's journey to love through her own eyes." Airing on Prime Video, the $20-million project was financed by J-Lo herself.
And because that wasn't enough self-promotion, she also released a documentary showing the behind-the-scenes process of creating the film. In the doc, we find out J-Lo was planning on a star-studded cast of cameos!
Except no one wanted to be in the movie. Watch:
Another scene in the documentary quickly gaining traction is one where J-Lo is sitting, wide-legged in the gym. She pulls her hair out of a ponytail and dramatically tousles it around. She loves wearing her hair like that …allegedly.
"It reminds me, like, when I was 16 in the Bronx, running up and down the block," she explains.
But everyone on the Internet is calling her out for being blatantly disingenuous and using her "Jenny from the Block" persona as a way to seem down-to-earth and relatable — even though she's filthy rich, out-of-touch and notoriously does nothing to give back to "the Block."
Or in this guy's words, she's "a delusional chaos demon."
This isn't the first time J-Lo has been called out for exploiting her roots to enhance her "street" image. But now, people are coming forward to detail just how unpleasant the superstar is in real life.
Here are a few:
I, personally, have never had the pleasure of encountering Jennifer Lopez in the wild, but I do know a sports personality who went to a party at her home back when she was with Alex Rodriguez.
He told me that not only was there a strict dress code, but guests were also given assignments on where to stand and whom to talk to during the party. You could not take pictures of J-Lo, and she only spoke to certain VIPs.
Gonna try this at my next backyard BBQ. I'll let you know how much my friends hate me by the end of the night.
Anyway, here are a few more videos shamelessly dragging J-Lo. Just for fun.
Chanen Johnson Starting NFL Matchmaking Service
Hide your daughters, hide your wives! The wife of New Orleans Saints tight end Juwan Johnson is starting an NFL matchmaking service.
Chanen Johnson says she's already received "thousands" of requests from women seeking her help to find a husband in the NFL.
"I get thousands of emails daily with relationship resumes of girls," Chanen told The New York Post. "There are amazing resumes and women doing incredible things with their lives. It’s not like [the women are saying] ‘Oh, I love the Saints, and I want to date a Saints player.'"
The 28-year-old first floated the idea of her dating service back in October, and she's been bragging about her matchmaking skills ever since. Fair warning, this video is …a lot.
But she's not all talk (although she does talk quite a bit). Chanen said she's serious about getting this matchmaking service off the ground, and Juwan is helping.
"People want love. So that’s what we’re here for. People want to get matched up and we’re definitely gonna make it happen for sure," she explained. "We’re waiting until it’s the [right] moment to share it with the world. There’s a lot behind the scenes that is happening."
Chanen and Juwan have been married for four years, and they post relationship-related content on their TikTok account, @juandchan, to more than 3.1 million followers.
The Johnson's use the platform to talk about serious issues — like when the couple shared that they had experienced two miscarriages in 2022. But they also do silly stuff, like this:
So there you go. If there's a lady in your life who wants a football player as a husband, tell her to hop in Chanen's DMs.
Although as someone who has spent my entire career around professional athletes and seen what happens on the road, I wouldn't recommend it.
There are, of course, exceptions. But for every Chanen Johnson making silly TikToks with her Juwan, there's a Keeta Vaccaro watching her husband get served an endless revolving door of paternity suits.
May the odds be ever in your favor, ladies.
Mikey Want A Sandwich?
One Jets super fan is getting creative in his attempts to lure Mike Williams to New York.
Known on X as @NYJ_Matt, the fan ordered a Taylor Ham, egg and cheese — "the truly authentic New Jersey breakfast sandwich," I'm told — and had it delivered to the Jets facility for the visiting wide receiver.
Matt’s instructions for the DoorDash driver were to "please hand it to the person at the door and say this is for Mike Williams and let him know catching passes from Aaron Rodgers is more fun than catching from Bryce Young."
Williams, a seven-year veteran, is on a free agent visit after he was a salary-cap casualty of the Los Angeles Chargers last week. And although he's coming off an ACL tear in 2023, the Clemson product is widely considered the best available free agent on the open market.
He's also reportedly visiting Carolina and Pittsburgh. The Jets have more cap space than the competition, and the opportunity to catch passes from a future Hall of Famer (assuming he isn't busy running for Vice President) has to be almost as tempting as an egg and cheese bagel.
Of course, he'd also have to live in crime-ridden New York, play at crappy MetLife Stadium and compete with the rest of the packed and stacked AFC East (except you, Patriots — LOL).
RELATED: NFL Players Vote MetLife Stadium The Worst Place To Play
Look, I made a meme.
Anyway, your move, Panthers and Steelers fans. Better start ordering up that Carolina BBQ and some Primanti Brothers french fry sandwiches.
Don't let Jets fanatic Matt out-hustle you!
Couple quick ones from the mailbag:
Now I Can't Unsee It, Mike
I hope I'm not the only one that saw the purple mattress when I scrolled by the flying car.
Eric Is Not Getting Stuck In The Middle
Just read in your article about you being very excited to go to AZ, but forgot to click fast enough for your Southwest flight.
This may be a little late. Sorry. But I never really worry about the C boarding group anymore. That is because I get to the terminal earlier than everyone else. Then, like the lighting strike of a cobra, I pay about $30 to get into the first 15 of the A group.
More often than not, even flying from Dallas to Nashville, I always get in. No middle seat for me.
Amber:
I saw the option to upgrade to A1-A15, but they were charging $50 to do so. And, Eric, I already gave them enough money for that flight.
I'm normally very good about checking in on Southwest 24 hours before my flight. But this time I completely forgot to wake up at 5:45 a.m. and do it.
That said, even though I was B59, I did manage to get lucky and snag an aisle seat near the back of the plane. It was a completely full flight, though, so I was forced to sit next to a masker who took the liberty of hogging the arm rest and half my legroom.
In fact, it was probably that guy who gave me the plague and ruined my vacation. Because we know that cotton mask is about as effective at stopping germs as an $8 breakfast sandwich is at enticing a multi-millionaire NFL player to sign a contract.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.