Instagram Star Vicky Palacio Turns 26, A Beautiful Aaron Rodgers Watercolor Painting & Puking During The Golden Hour At Coachella
The life of a Big J blogger when Adam Schefter ruins your day
I would like to take you guys through my Monday afternoon and how I thought I had a decent Aaron Rodgers story that hadn't been written only to be upstaged by bigger a Bigger Big J.
Heading into Monday afternoon, I was just coming off a Salma Hayek bikini post that had me fired up because it signals what should be a huge content summer out of the 56-year-old actress. For some reason, in my brain I was thinking Aaron Rodgers has been awfully quiet and it's NFL Draft Week...this guy has to be up to something.
So I started digging on Instagram and I'll be damned if this guy wasn't holed up in Costa Rica last week at an ayahuasca resort where guests drink the psychedelic brew for at least three straight nights and trip balls.
YES, I have an exclusive that's going to get all sorts of attention because everyone loves Aaron Rodgers tripping balls updates.
I was almost done with the post when it was time to get the kids from school. I was all relaxed. The post will publish right after I get back. Give me 30 minutes and we'll have a Rodgers post for the Google algorithm gods.
And then it happened. I started seeing the Rodgers trade news plunging down my TweetDeck literally five minutes before publishing. It was just cascading. My story was being sunk in real-time.
Here I thought everyone would care about the vomiting party guests go through at these tripping balls resorts where Rodgers would have drank so much lemongrass brew that he would've puked out his guts.
Meanwhile, Schefty and the NFL Live crew are making stupid faces over the trade news on my TV because it's their job to create viral moments that are then turned into content currency.
F----------------CCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!
I'd been scooped.
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.
Cracker Barrel must-haves
• Miles O. in Tennessee writes:
While waiting for my take-out order at the local Cracker Barrel restaurant I spotted some funny merch that I thought would apply to many cappers.
First pic is for the TNMLeaguers.
Second pic is for us more mature souls.
Third pic is for the golfers among us.
Fourth pic is for the ladies who read Screencaps and know their men well.
Fifth pic is for the many beer lovers out there.
Sixth pic made me laugh because my 4-year-old grandson breaks a lot of his toys and expects me to fix it with Gorilla Glue. I have even had to drill holes in hips and legs of toy super heroes and reattach those limbs with small screws.
Seventh pic is for those cappers who are follicularly challenged.
Hope this puts a smile on a face or two. Keep up the good work.
Kinsey:
After what Schefter did to me, I needed a good chuckle. Thanks Miles.
*Disclaimer: DO NOT SEND ME that mowing mug bottle thing. I'm liquidating!
Speaking of liquidating
• Randy writes:
If no one else has claimed , I would enjoy having that. I am/was the only guy in my friend group that would drink Natty Ice, and often got the leftover cans when people had parties and others showed up with that, but then drank the hosts Coronas or Bud Lights. If you want me to Venmo you cash for shipping, please let me know.
Kinsey:
Natty is Anheuser-Busch. Are you sure, Randy?
Speaking of liquidating - part two
• Bill L. writes:
Another example on how this community holds each other up. Last year, after Scott Frost was fired from Nebraska I sent TNML member Adam W some homebrew to help ease the pain of yet another losing Husker football season.
He messaged me over the weekend to say he was returning the favor with western Nebraska beers I couldn't get around here. I had forgotten about it due to other family commitments but it arrived today.
And honestly, after a shit day at my job listening to more ultra-liberal crap from some coworkers, it was really what I needed. I'll pop one of them open when my TNML season starts this week. Adam, you're a good man. Joe, your morning column is a great way to start the day. Cheers!
Kinsey:
This is the Nebraska that I love.
I'll never forget attending a Western Michigan-Nebraska game like 15 years ago because my buddy's cousin was the starting QB at Western and we didn't get 30 yards away from our car before some Nebraska fans partying outside a warehouse told us to grab a beer. We never left that tailgate until it was time to go into the game.
I learned that day that Nebraska LOVES beer and shot skis.
Good people. They definitely deserve a better football team.
New Screencaps topic: 'Please refrain from visiting the hotel watering holes during the school DC trip'
• Brandon B. in Birmingham, AL writes:
I am leaving Saturday for a week-long trip through our nation's capital with my 5th grader. We are taking a bus from the great state of Alabama and driving some 16 hours (16!). The ole Mapquest says it would take 11 hours.
Pretty sure I could make it in 10 or less. But I am going to be on a bus with 5th graders for 16 hours. Then we have 6 straight days of packed agenda. Of course there are rules...lots of rules.
But the one I am focused in on says, "please refrain from visiting the hotel "waterholes" in the evenings." Um excuse me? Your telling me I paid a few thousand dollars to help you guys on a massive school field trip and I can't have 1 cold one at night to help my survival odds?
Need some help from SC community.
1. survival tips (I have books, ear buds, enough portable chargers to power a city for a night). but what have others brought to help survive?
2. Did anyone visit the "watering hole" because I'm 100% sure i am going to need a not-Bud Light while I'm trying to pack 8 hours of work into 2 hours each night at the hotel.
Sidenote: Screencaps garage sale.
Post what you want to get rid of that vendors have given you. I'm sure you got some unique items. Silent auction style. email what you are willing to pay. Highest bidder gets the item. Win/win for you.
Kinsey:
Speaking of the south, where are all my Savannah and Hilton Head readers?
• Keith W., who's been a long-time Screencaps reader and supporter, writes:
My wife and I (plus two boys 7 & 5) are going on a vacation to Savannah, GA and Hilton Head, SC. We'll be there for about 9 days in late June. I've never been out to those parts of the country, so we're completely unaware of anything. I mean, it's easy to look up and find things to do that are "touristy" or "beach-y" (I may even try to get a few Savannah Bananas tickets on the resale market - I'm a Bananas fan, the wife is a Party Animals fan)... but finding typical things to do in the American south is proving to be much harder.
I was wondering if you or the southern Screencaps readers could give us some input for total newbies to the south (I was thinking this could fall in line with your content for Screencaps about looking for small things to do in various parts of the country). I'm even wondering if there is an off-the-beaten-path small South Carolina town within an hour or two radius that has an awesome local watering hole or small mom-and-pop restaurant we could check out. I think that type of day trip and adventure with the family will create more memories for us than ANOTHER day lounging on the beach.
Kinsey:
Based on how many of you wrote in when I was headed to Savannah for the Bananas game, Keith should be in good hands with this community. I already sent Keith's email over to Louie in Savannah to see if he could give Keith a couple of good ideas.
Someone put Keith in a small ocean-facing diner where he and his wife can exhale for 30 minutes while the kids suck down an incredible glass of lemonade.
Liberty Arms
• Chris B. in Houston writes:
I don’t know where this place is, but I like it.
Northern Lights from the cockpit
• Danny W. writes:
Big week here in the Minneapolis Outer Suburbs. Been waiting since late October to finally get the mower out of the shed, sharpen the blades, and run some 91 Non-Oxy fuel. Gotta be ready for the TNML delayed home opener. Temps are supposed to be in the 60’s with rain this coming weekend. To say I’m excited is an understatement.
Caught the Northern Lights on the way home from work last night over central Wisconsin.
Skate-mobile
• Mike W. writes:
Seeing the Weiner mobile in Friday’s Screencaps reminded me of this little hot rod I saw recently in an Albuquerque neighborhood and had to share. I would imagine it does well in inclimate weather.
TNML
• Bruce F. writes:
Thanks again for a great daily column. It really hits home and shows that most people are not like what we read about on the “news”.
Had to mow early this week as the fish were calling. My TNML sticker placement is probably different than most but I have already had 2 people comment on it in the outback of Northern California with “thumbs up”. Even tho’ it is a little hard to see, they recognized the logo and are definite fans of yours.
Love the house ball vs. travel ball feature of keeping life real for kids. Keep it up and enjoy it along the way.
That's it for this morning. It's back to the drawing board for me after Schefter's big scoop.
Go crush it at work today on the last Tuesday of April 2023. It's like 42 and there's going to be a rain/snow mixture. This is payback for that insane week of weather earlier this month.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com