Instagram Star Grace Boor Announces It's Cuddle Season, Sad Mac Jones & Buy A Strand Of Napoleon's Hair
The Daily Mailbag
It appears this whole mailbag thing is going to become a daily occurrence around here because these questions just keep rolling in.
That said, let's roll.
• Joey P. writes:
I've noticed a lot of leftist loons that are declaring they will leave Twitter whenever Elon Musk assumes full control. Do you think they will follow through on this, or will it be the whole "I'm moving to Canada if Trump wins the presidency!" in 2016 mess all over again?
The lib libs aren't going anywhere if Musk assumes control of Twitter. They're married to the platform. Where will they go? It's very similar to how Parler and Truth Social were going to provide an alternative neighborhood for MAGA to call home.
The actual truth of the matter here is that dueling sides of the aisle actually want to be on the same platform so they can fight and be right. Twitter might be a financial loser, but it was the perfect social media platform at the perfect time for a two-party system that wants to fight to a bloody death on a daily basis.
Fighting on Twitter or Facebook releases dopamine. It's an emotional release for a growing population that has very little human interaction as more people work from home and retire. For many, firing off the most perfect response to a political enemy is a sugar rush. It's like a gambler hitting an 8-team parlay and needing the Bears to win on Monday Night Football.
When it hits, it's the perfect drug rushing through the veins.
That's why nobody is leaving Twitter based on ownership. These people are addicts. They want to see that 'Notification' tab with a number next to it.
Yep, maxi pads are still being handed out in men's bathrooms on campuses from coast-to-coast
• Bill C. reports from the University of Virginia campus undergraduate admissions building:
What am I missing here?
Bill, we're living in times where the wokes have these campuses by the balls, my friend. You're missing the part where campuses have been turned into lib lib wastelands where it's complete chaos, and you could have a she/he using the men's bathroom and needing a maxi pad.
Plus, these are serving as woke symbolism. We're here, we're big, and we're strong! Yay, team!
It's like drag queens holding all-age brunch shows in Texas where one song included the rapper singing "p-ssy" 83 times.
It's all about chaos, Bill.
Speaking of chaos...flossing on a plane
• John H. writes:
You do a great job - we appreciate your work.
What is the verdict from the community - is it acceptable behavior to floss on an airplane?
Further, do we consider using a toothpick to be a different act compared to flossing?
Absolutely unacceptable behavior, but it's not unexpected in 2022. Honestly, I've just come to terms that humans don't know how to act in public. Working this job for 15 years (in December), I've seen plenty of examples of people being uncivilized pigs in public, so at this point I just expect it.
Pigs being pigs on flights:
Save this disgusting behavior for Spirit and Frontier Airlines. Stay off Delta.
I'm posting this to purposely trigger Texas chili truthers
There's no need to email me screaming about real chili. Send your hate mail to Malcom Reed.
Tipping is out of control
Exhibit 2,005,348:
Italian grazing plate
• Mike T. is still living the Italian life which means lots of grazing tables and plates. Mike adds that Birra Moretti is the "beer of Italy."
Bragging on our kids for a minute
• Jon F. in NW Ohio writes:
That's awesome that your son got the game-winning goal as time expired! (Ed. note: To be completely transparent, it was a game-tying goal.)
I had a similar situation with my oldest (9) yesterday. This season he moved up to the big field and has 4th, 5th, and 6th graders he's playing with. Needless to say, there are not too many 4th graders that have produced much on his team. His excitement level has been pretty down these last few weeks because he has yet to even come close to scoring a goal while his 2 younger brothers (oldest in their respective divisions) have scored 5+ goals each.
We are down by 1 with less than 5 minutes in the game. We are lining up for a penalty kick and my son is off to the side. Penalty kick misses and ricochets right to him and he blasted it past the goalie. It was no little dribbler...Same as your son's goal, he smashed it. The coaches, his teammates, and the parents just went wild. One of the littlest kids on the field came up with the biggest goal. What a moment. Now they ended up losing the game, but you couldn't get the smile off his face the rest of the day. Got home just in time to see the clock strike 0:00 for OUR first-place AFC North Bengals... Who dey! I really hope the week 1 loss to Shitsburgh doesn't come back to haunt us. As always, I appreciate what you do.
Looking at the Ravens' remaining schedule, I 100% think the loss to Pittsburgh comes back to haunt the Bengals, who have a crazy gauntlet to end the season.
March Madness IG Bracket
• Ben writes:
Long time Capper, occasional emailer. I had an idea today based on a conversation in my college friend group chat and all the recent HIldee slander/support. Long story short I shared the pics of hockey goalie Mikayla with the group and declared her queen of the 'Gram. This was met with resistance from my buddies. So I was thinking, could we lean into this and have a vote-off bracket with the Screencap insta models? Just let everyone vote on matchups until we get a Queen of Screencaps.
I'm not going to act like this a fully baked idea, but I also like that the SC community is a "throw it out there and see what happens" group. So I thought I would toss it out.
Either way, I'll keep tuning in daily. Love the work.
I've had multiple readers suggest this over the years. Now, I'm all about Do Hard Things, but picking 64 competitors might be the most insane Do Hard Things thing I've ever done during my Internet career.
Let me start jotting down names to see how many I can come up with. I'm thinking there are at least 30-40 off the top of my head. I might need help with the remaining 30 slots.
Have a great day across this great country. It might seem like it's a complete failure, but we'll get through. We'll survive.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com