Idiots Are Paying Some Lady Thousands Of Dollars To Come Up With Names For Their Kids

I've never had a kid, but I think I'd be great at naming them. I don't know why, I just feel like I might come up with some real gems. However, I don't think I'm anywhere near as good as the woman charging expectant parents thousands of dollars for a bespoke list of names.

It could be that she's not that good at coming up with names. She may have just come up with a great way to get some serious dough out of some major league rubes who need names for their babies.

Taylor A. Humphrey was recently profiled in The New Yorker and the 33-year-old NYU grad has made a name for herself as one of the premier baby namers in the game today.

How good? Good enough that she'll compile a list of baby names for you to peruse at your leisure... for a cool $1,500.

Hey, maybe that's not a terrible idea. I mean, if you're schedule is so tight that you can't spare a moment to say, "Kevin, isn't a terrible name," then it may be money well spent. It's especially smart if you want your kid to have one of those trendy names that will get them beat up in middle school.

Need Some Baby Names That Match Your Business? No? Well, You Could Get Them If You Wanted Them

However, Taylor A. gives it more thought than just typing up whatever random name pops into her head at a given moment. Unfortunately, that's exactly what I would do.

"You should name your kid... uh... Sarge. Yeah, Sarge is a good name."

"But we're having a girl."

"Yeah, well Sarge is gender neutral these days. Look, I thought we had agreed you'd leave your prejudice at the door when we started this process..."

Nope, she'll even come up with names that are on-brand with your business, but it'll cost you. If you're wondering it's $10,000 for that service,

I don't even understand how that works. Like, if you're a plumber, are you going to name your kid Ballcock after the floaty thing in the back of a toilet? I would hope not. For the kid's sake.

Hey, it sounds ridiculous, but I think we're all just jealous of how Taylor A. carved out a nice little niche for herself. You can't hate on her for that.

You probably can hate on the people who now get to tell their kid when they inevitably ask where their name comes from that they have no idea because they paid some lady to come up with it.

That'll make them feel great.

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