I Can't Stop Using 'Cockpit' Now That A Woke Pilot Union Tells Me It's A Bad Word

Full disclosure: I CANNOT get enough COCKPIT. 

All it took to pique my interest in the word COCKPIT was for the world's largest pilot's union to "suggest" in a diversity and inclusion guide that the use of COCKPIT, manpower and other "masculine generalizations" was non-inclusive. 

Say what? 

The DEI language has been pushed by the Air Line Pilots Association, Int'l – the organization serves 70,000 pilots worldwide –  since 2021. The ALPA wokes believe the friendly skies will be even friendlier if the terms used were modified. 

"Inclusive language in communications is essential to our union’s solidarity and collective strength and is an important factor in maintaining flight safety," the guide states. "The purpose of this language guide is to offer examples of terms and phrases that promote inclusion and equity."

Join the movement to use "COCKpit" and fight back against the wokes. / Getty Images

Some woke came to the conclusion that "COCKPIT" should now be "flight deck" and that "manpower" should be changed to "people/human power." 

Can you use that in a sentence?

"Who will provide the people/human power to support this event?" the guide suggests. 

And don't use "guys" when talking to a group of…guys. That word is non-inclusive to women, transGs and people identifying as they/thems. 

There's more. 

Don't use "mother/father." 

Why? 

Same-sex couples! 

Now I just want to use COCKpit around my buddies with emphasis on COCK just to piss off the pilots' union 

Disclaimer: I'm as straight as a mackerel swimming up stream (I just heard that phrase in a Lakers-Celtics 30 for 30 and couldn't wait to use it in a post). 

I find myself wanting to go on a destination golf trip with my buddies. I want the four of us to walk onto the plane and ask the flight attendants "Who is working in the COCKpit today, ladies?" 

Or, "What a nice COCKpit, fellas!" 

I want to sit down with my boys in business class and declare that I need a drink to complete my very own COCKpit. 

When we land, I want someone else to take control of the SUV COCKpit while I suck down the fresh vibes from the tropical breezes. I want someone else to get behind the golf cart COCKpit while I SUCK down margs and CRUSH BALLS around the course while appreciating the MANPOWER it took to build such a beautiful golf course. 

It doesn't look like I'm alone in my new-found love of COCKpit. There are others out there that can't keep COCKpit out of their vocabulary after not thinking about the word for years. 

Who's with me? Who will NEVER stop calling it a COCKpit? Take the COCKpit pledge. Never give an INCH to these woke losers. 

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com