Cicadas Sound Bad, Hyper-Sexualized Zombie Cicadas Sound Much, Much Worse

There's a lot of wild stuff happening in the natural world right now. There was an earthquake in New Jersey, there's a solar eclipse (*Yawn*) on Monday, and later this year they're calling for trillions of cicadas to crawl out of the ground.

However, according to CBS News, some of these cicadas won't be your garden variety cicadas. Nope, some will be hyper-sexualized zombie cicadas.

Come to think of it, that sounds like a perfect idea for a SyFy channel movie. I need to start writing because I can see it now. Something like Hyper-Sexualized Zombie Cicadas Vs. Robo-Croctopus.

It's gold, Jerry…

While that sounds like B-movie fodder through and through, it's a real thing.

Two broods of cicadas will be making their way above ground this year, and according to Matthew Kasson — an associate professor of Mycology and Forest Pathology at West Virginia University — insects from both broods could be infected by a fungus called Massospora cicadina.

The way it works is the cicadas come out of the ground and molt. After that, is when the fungus kicks in, and if you thought that fungus from The Last of Us sounded bad, hold this cicada fungus' beer.

This fungus caused the cicada's abdomen to open up revealing a "chalky, white plug," per CBS News. From there it takes over the insects and causes their genitals — which I didn't even realize insects had genitals — to fall off.

That is… that is f--ked up.

A cicada infected with the fungal parasite <i>Massospora cicadina</i>. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

However, Kasson says it's business as usual despite the presence of the fungus… and lack of genitals.

"The cicada continues to participate in normal activities, like it would if it was healthy," Kasson explained. "Like it tries to mate, it flies around, it walks on plants. Yet, a third of its body has been replaced by fungus. That's really kind of bizarre."

Yes, that is bizarre.

Welp… I know where you'll find me the second one of these sexed-up cicadas busts through the surface: inside.