Horny Bill Clinton Thinks Dead Ethel Kennedy Wanted Him

Just when it looked like the Dems would be sending Bill Clinton back to his crypt after cutting a Donald Trump campaign promo during a speech in Georgia, Slick Willie was asked to eulogize Ethel Kennedy. 

And, boy, did Bubba ever deliver an all-timer on Wednesday for Ethel and the Kennedy clan. 

"I thought your mother was the cat’s meow. She would flirt with me in the most innocent ways," Bill said of Ethel, the widow of Robert F. Kennedy, who died on October 10 at the age of 96. 

Jesus, Bill, she's in a casket turning to dust. Maybe crank down the horny meter a bit, bub. 

Then again, perhaps it's just this time of year that makes Bubba horny. Never forget it was November 15, 1995when President Clinton invited Monica Lewinsky into his lair for a…conversation. Lewinsky would later testify that she showed Bubba her thong underwear soon after flirting with him at a West Wing birthday party for a staff member. 

Let's go to the official testimony from the Starr Report: 

On that date, she entered the White House at 1:30 p.m., left sometime thereafter (White House records do not show the time), reentered at 5:07 p.m., and departed at 12:18 a.m. on November 16. 

The President was in the Oval Office or the Chief of Staff’s office (where Ms. Lewinsky worked during the furlough) for almost the identical period that Ms. Lewinsky was in the White House that evening, from 5:01 p.m. on November 15 to 12:35 a.m. on November 16. 

According to Ms. Lewinsky, she and the President made eye contact when he came to the West Wing to see Mr. Panetta and Deputy Chief of Staff Harold Ickes, then again later at an informal birthday party for Jennifer Palmieri, Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff. 

At one point, Ms. Lewinsky and the President talked alone in the Chief of Staff’s office. In the course of flirting with him, she raised her jacket in the back and showed him the straps of her thong underwear, which extended above her pants. 

En route to the restroom at about 8 p.m., she passed George Stephanopoulos’s office. The President was inside alone, and he beckoned her to enter. She told him that she had a crush on him. He laughed, then asked if she would like to see his private office. Through a connecting door in Mr. Stephanopoulos’s office, they went through the President’s private dining room toward the study off the Oval Office.

Ms. Lewinsky testified: ‘‘We talked briefly and sort of acknowledged that there had been a chemistry that was there before and that we were both attracted to each other and then he asked me if he could kiss me.’’ 

Ms. Lewinsky said yes. 

In the windowless hallway adjacent to the study, they kissed. Before returning to her desk, Ms. Lewinsky wrote down her name and telephone number for the President.

At about 10 p.m., in Ms. Lewinsky’s recollection, she was alone in the Chief of Staff’s office and the President approached. He invited her to rendezvous again in Mr. Stephanopoulos’s office in a few minutes, and she agreed. 

Asked if she knew why the President wanted to meet with her, Ms. Lewinsky testified: ‘‘I had an idea.’’ 

They met in Mr. Stephanopoulos’s office and went again to the area of the private study. This time the lights in the study were off. According to Ms. Lewinsky, she and the President kissed. She unbuttoned her jacket; either she unhooked her bra or he lifted her bra up; and he touched her breasts with his hands and mouth. 

Ms. Lewinsky testified: ‘‘I believe he took a phone call * * * and so we moved from the hallway into the back office. * * * [H]e put his hand down my pants and stimulated me manually in the genital area.’’  

While the President continued talking on the phone (Ms. Lewinsky understood that the caller was a Member of Congress or a Senator), she performed oral sex on him.

He finished his call, and, a moment later, told Ms. Lewinsky to stop. In her recollection: ‘‘I told him that I wanted * * * to complete that. And he said * * * that he needed to wait until he trusted me more. And then I think he made a joke * * * that he hadn’t had that in a long time.’’