Hooters Is Coming To The Villages & Residents (Old Ladies) Are Freaking Out

In a Florida city where old codgers are busted by the feds for illegally buying boner pills with intent to sell, the last thing the old white hairs should be worried about is a new Hooters location, but in The Villages, it's front-page news. 

The news last week that Hooters is coming to a shopping center in the retirement village has sent shockwaves through the community and has resulted in humorous letters to the editor that have been published by Villages-News.com.

"The people in The Villages have asked for Hooters, and we are here to deliver," a Hooters rep told the news outlet. 

And the chain, which shuttered around 40 stores in June, reportedly has two more locations in The Villages where it would like to open up shop. 

In a letter to the editor published Sunday, Kimberly Bohms wasted no time taking shots at the breastaurant. 

"First of all, Hooters food is sub-par. They claim people are drawn there because of their ‘wings.’ Maybe that’s a new words for BOOBS.  We need more upscale unique restaurants in The Villages," she wrote. 

The Villages could get up to three new Hooters locations, a company representative told a local news outlet. / via Hooters

She was just getting warmed up. 

"Secondly, I envision Hooters to attract more outsiders to our community. Not of the higher caliber of people.

"Third, it will be another establishment that attracts and becomes an ‘enabler’ of alcoholism because the male customers will sit and drink longer periods of time just to get a glance at young busty boobs in their face and Daisy Duke shorty shorts with their butt cheeks hanging out."

Hey Kimberly, stop being so judgmental. It sounds like someone is jealous of the attention the Hooters girls get. So what if some retiree wants to sit and talk to a hot woman serving him beers and laughing at his jokes. 

Maybe he's tired of the old hag at home who won't stop scrolling on Facebook. 

(Angry women in The Villages are furious over the breastaurant coming to their retirement community that isn't exactly the utopia they make it out to be. / via Hooters)

While those first three paragraphs were horrible, it's Kimberly's closing statement that has me triggered. 

"This is promoted as a ‘retirement’ community. Not spring break, Las Vegas, Fort Lauderdale or Miami Beach," she concluded. 

We're talking about a place that has had allegations of being a swingers' paradise where sexually transmitted diseases are common. It's already Spring Break, hun. 

In a letter to the editor published Monday, Barbara Procko continues with claims that Hooters is "trashy." 

"What brain trust thinks a Hooters establishment is a good fit for a senior retirement community? If I wanted to live with trash, I would have moved to a trashy place," she wrote.

This is a good time to remind Barbara that The Villages isn't exactly the utopia she's making it out to be. Remember back in December when I wrote about the old lady who couldn't stop getting DUIs on golf carts?

Yeah, what a classy place, Barbara. This is how animals live. 

Meanwhile, resident Maddy Courter sticks to the talking points in her letter to the editor. 

"We love living here in such a beautiful community. The community is well maintained with beautiful golf courses," she writes. "I feel that Hooters is a trashy restaurant and really who will go there? 

"Golfers, grandparents taking their children and grandchildren?

"In my opinion, it will not be a good fit and will end up closing down."

Let me tell you who's going to go there, Maddy: Guys who have retirement pensions to burn. That's business 101 from Hooters. Smart business. 

Men who loved Hooters in the 1990s will soon have a place to hang out and watch NFL games, according to media reports. The thought of men being men has angered Villages old white hairs. / via Hooters

Guys who were in their 30s back in mid-1990s and slamming beers while Brett Favre was slinging it for the Packers are now on Medicare. Stop and think about that for a minute. Those guys grew up on sports bars. They love sports bars with BOOBS, Kimberly. 

It's time for the Villages old hags to let the local men have their fun at one of America's greatest business inventions. Hooters will be great for The Villages. 

Good luck changing my mind. 

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com