Hooters Alyssa Is Ready To Sling Draft Beers & Wings For March Madness, John Daly Is Back & Gramps In Heaven
Fingers crossed I'll be hitting OJ Simpson's driver this summer
With nine days and about 14 hours to go, I'm still the high bidder on this bag of talking points from the OJ Simpson estate auction. Those of you who've been with me for a decade or more know that I have a history of buying interesting items, or items for celebrity weddings where the ultimate prize is the autographed thank-you note.
Right now, my full attention is on winning these OJ golf clubs.
Why?
- I need a new driver & fairway woods.
- As Homebrew Bill astutely noted, the OJ glove in a display case next to my John Daly autographed Marlboro Lights would take the man cave to the next level.
- It's nice to spice things up with the golf group. Just think of the conversations as we all take a turn hitting bombs with OJ's Taylor Made Sim2.
- Possible Two-Club Invitational prize giveaways — OR — a ‘Longest Drive Using OJ’s Driver' competition. Imagine that headline on a Facebook promotional flyer.
Let's see if I can bring these home.
Don't be a dick and run up the price.
Congrats to those of you who have the next two days off to watch college basketball
My $5 freebie bet on Xavier hit last night, so I'll be rolling into March Madness with a few bucks to throw around on these games.
Let's not forget how Vegas keeps the lights on.
The Akron-Arizona line has my attention, specifically the OVER. I know what you're thinking: Here we go again with Kinsey and Akron.
I stick to what I know and I know that Akron can put the ball in the basket. Just ask Toledo. I also know that Arizona can stick it in the basket at a high pace. Did you watch the Arizona-Kansas game in the Big12 tourney. It was a track meet, but Kansas shot 42% from the field with what felt like 50 misses from under the basket.
Akron will oblige tomorrow night in Seattle. I'm expecting Arizona to get into the mid-90s. Don't be shocked if the Wildcats go over 100. Give me the backdoor cover late as Akron pours some in on the Arizona subs.
The OVER is 167.
As for today, I'm not scared to play Michigan -2.5. This smells like a five-point win after UC San Diego puts a scare into the Wolverines.
My world record visit to the Ohio DMV was a talker on Wednesday
Even my mom was sweating my license situation until I explained to her that Ohio now mails out the physical copy. If TSA didn't accept old IDs for a couple of months, it would be chaos at airports.
— Gen X Warren wants to know how I wasn't arrested for having an expired license:
Congrats on your world-record time getting your license. 8 years ago, my wife kept bugging me to make an appointment for renewal, and I kept putting it off. I was stuck for 2+ hours at the old DMV office waiting to renew. It expired this year. But imagine my surprise when I received a notice that I can renew by mail. No new photo, no appointment, etc.
But I have to wonder how you didn’t get pulled over with an expired license? In Florida, your license plate can be scanned by a cop automatically and they can pull you over.
Quick story: I bought a car in late 2022 and I got a new expiration tag on my plate for 2024, plus registration matching that.
3 months later, we are visiting a friend in St. Pete , FL, and heading home. We pass a friendly young cop finishing a ticket and he gets in and suddenly pulls us over (I’m guessing he was surprised when he saw me, my wife, and dog all looking at him). Said my tag expired in early 2023, but it had a 24 on it.
When he saw my registration, it said 2024, so he couldn’t cite me. I thought for sure I’d get pulled over on the 3.5 hour drive home to south Florida, but never did. Even with cops sometimes behind me. And I didn’t get pulled over for the month after it expired until that officer did. Next day, registered again and now do the two year option.
Kinsey:
- I haven't driven much in the past 3 ½ weeks.
- The plates are in Mrs. Screencaps' name.
- Ohio cops would've had to bust me driving back and forth between Costco, home and Screencaps the III's school. Their options to pull me over the last 20 days or so were very limited.
- I should add that there wasn't some grand conspiracy to drive with an expired license like some hoodrat thug. I pulled out my license this week to scan it for something and noticed the date. The next day I went and experienced a new DMV world record.
- From time to time there have been Ohio cops reading Screencaps. Just know I wasn't actively trying to screw the Buckeye State.
— CB tells me:
Had to laugh at your DMV story. Just had to go get my license renewed back in February. In my case, it was about 4:00 PM and let’s just say my expectations we very low that I would actually get my new license.
I left my house here in sunny Ponte Vedra Beach, home of TPC (#Notsponsored), and shockingly made it to the DMV in about 8 minutes. I threaded the needle on post-work traffic. Walked in, expecting to find a crowd, but there was just one other dude. Get number, sat down and was up again in a minute.
The nice lady at the window did her thing and we get to picture time. She gives me a preview of the picture and I made some off-hand comment saying I should have smiled - the picture looked like a mug shot, which I think is pretty normal – and she asks if I want a redo. I was stunned! I’ve never been to a DMV that lets you redo you driver’s license photo. Smiled this time and it looked way better.
Finishing up the license thing and she asks if I wanted to renew the vehicle registration. I totally forgot that was expiring that day! Bullet dodged and my wife thought I was a hero for getting the registration renewed. Whole thing took about 15 minutes. All-time greatest DMV experience in my lifetime.
Hope you and the SC community have a great week!
— Chris in Milford, CT checks in:
Here in Connecticut we actually make an appointment for our DMV visit.ive gone through this several times and its been seamless.no more upset stomach thinking about that notoriously bad DMV visit,in and out as if you were hitting up the bank
It all started at covid time and they now can plan their day as we can also.
— Casey in Idaho writes:
You hit a nerve with the DMV story, in a good way!
Canyon County, Idaho. You make a reservation online, go in at your allotted time, check in at the desk, then before you can sit down to call your number and you are helped by a friendly woman to get your license/plates/registration or whatever you need completed. I will tell anyone who will listen about my experience at this DMV. I've done it 4 times for various things (we moved here two years ago), and the experience is the same every time!
Also, topic for your content machine: Crazy parent stories from competitive youth sports. We signed my daughter up for a U10 team, and at the first team meeting there were fireworks from the previous year! One parent was suspended for the first two games because of their behavior at the last game of the season. All sorts of stupid gripes from two parents to the VOLUNTEER coaches, who are balancing soccer with the rest of their lives. I'm sure folks have some wild stories to share about their experiences with other parents on youth sports teams.
Kinsey:
As a rec ball coach who is about to pick up the equipment for the season, I wish my fellow coaches good luck and pray that you don't get the asshole parents this season. I'm two-for-two when it comes to smooth seasons. Fingers crossed my winning streak continues.
My biggest complaint is over how close to the dugout some parents need to sit. If you wanted to coach, you should've signed up.
Did everyone get their Taste of The Masters orders in?
Congrats to those of you who were paying attention when the Taste went on sale Tuesday and got in on the limited-edition, and now sold out, Azalea drink kit with the Masters cocktail jigger.
The kits were selling for $64.95. Those same kits are being resold on eBay for $275-$300.
For those of you who want to get in on the food, the pimento cheese, egg salad and BBQ kits are still on sale.
Is the large kit worth $185?
If you're throwing a party, it's invaluable. Buy it. The sleeve of 24 cups is worth the price of admission. Even Mrs. Screencaps, who is sick of me talking about The Masters, loves the cups. My kids love the cups. My friends who come over for the Masters party love the cups. They cherish their Masters cups.
I had a vodka and Mio drinking buddy of mine tell me a few weeks back that it's his favorite cup. it's his vodka cup.
And before someone accuses me of being on The Taste of the Masters payroll…#notsponsored!
— Mike from Florida was a buyer this year:
I ordered my Taste of the Masters hosting kit this morning. Heading out to The Margaritaville campgrounds in Auburdale, FL (not sponsored) with the boys this year. This place looks awesome, and even has a mini-golf course. Also ordered these green baskets this year off of the Amazon interwebs for $12.
Stay tuned...
Texans: Are you offended when chili is called ‘Texas chili’ when you guys invented chili?
What does this mean for the U.S. economy?
Canadian Paul responds after Screencaps readers let him have it after he lectured MAGA on leaving the MAGA gear at home this summer during Canadian fishing trips because Trump pulled Vlody's funding
— Paul from Saskatchewan responds:
Thank you Mr. Kinsey for posting my email re: Your readers thoughts on supporting Ukraine.
I certainly asked for it, and your fan base responded in spades.
Discounting the insults both personal and towards Canadians in general; which gave no insight to my actual queries, some respondents did at least try for a partial attempt of an answer.
As an aside to Geoffrey; my ethnicity was not a determining factor in my post.
It is clearly apparent in following the Screencaps Community that there is an abundance of support for the MAGA philosophy, I was merely curious if the "grassroots" mindset coincides with that of the foreign policy being conveyed by Washington. Please forgive me but I'm sure you'll understand why I don't provide you with my (unmistakably Irish) last name.
And while I'll admit to some Ukrainian heritage on my mother's side, my father hails from Rockwell City, Iowa. I have cousins, siblings, nieces and a nephew all residing in the US.
— JJ backs Canadian Paul & wants to send even more money to Vlody:
Everyone has a right to their opinions on everything under the USA sunshine, so here is mine on Ukraine. These people are fighting for freedom, the very same thing we did in 1700's. Therefore I fully support sending everything to our Ukraine friends of freedom, if they don't stand up to Putin, who will? Putin is losing anyway, let's finish it off.
— Justin in Sherwood Park, Alberta has seen enough out of Candian Paul:
Who the hell is this dumbass stubble jumper from my neighbouring province? This is our problem up here: our country's been destroyed economically & culturally over the past decade by the Liberals, so they pick an unwinnable fight with your country to distract us away from their ineptitude. If you want a real eye opener, look up the practice of Equalization in Canada - in basic terms, richer provinces contribute more tax monies to the federal government than they get back in transfer payments, while the poorer provinces get more than they put in. Robin Hood - esque, if you will... the problem is that the rich provinces (namely AB, SK & BC) have been screwed over for decades while places like QC & MB just sit back & reap the cash. For example, last year, AB & SK each received $0 in Equalization monies while QC alone got $13B. No incentive for them to do any better because someone else pays the bills... & this idiot thinks that the US is the problem? Good lord...
— Chris from Frederick is mad that I even published Paul's email in the first place because he felt like I was stirring the pot on purpose:
So, did your index finger tremble before it hit 'enter' to add that Canadian email to Tuesday's Screencaps? You had to know you were stirring up a hornet's nest, likely because the email made your blood boil and you wanted to share the feeling, and have the readership do the flaming instead of you. And yeah, it sounded like the guy hadn't worked a day at a private sector job in his life, but there are plenty of schmucks in the world like him. No need to give him a platform here when he can run to MSNBC anytime he wants.
Everyone knows that Outkick leans to the right, and Screencaps does the same without getting too deep into the politics of the day. In fact, it's one of the prime features of Screencaps for me. It's a place I can go to to escape politics for 15 minutes a day. Introducing that email felt like a breach of the wall that separates Screencaps from the Fox News Opinion page. Now you'll get flooded by emails taking umbrage with the guy, which takes away from the normal guy talk we know and love on Screencaps. I guess you needed something to fill space in place of the Instagram models you can't imbed, but there are other ways to do it.
Looking forward to a Do Hard Things day.
Kinsey:
I challenge Chris to count up how many times I've fired up the base via emails. Trust me, I've had hundreds of emails that I don't publish that would turn into shitshows. Canadian Paul wanted to attach his lecture to the fishing conversation, so I let him.
It's good to mix it up from time to time.
Becoming stale is the death of a column. I produce six of these a week. That's 312 editions a year. Let's say I am responsible for 300 editions of Screencaps a year. You're going to get an uncomfortable discussion in there from time to time.
It's good to be uncomfortable from time to time.
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And with that, let's go have a great March Madness!
Get your devices dialed in. Get your YouTubeTV ready. Go dominate another day of life.
Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com or use my personal Gmail