Home Depot Is Selling A 'Braveheart' Sword And Here Are Some Foolproof Ways To Sell The Idea Of Buying One To Your Significant Other

It's been a while since I've popped into a Home Depot, but now that I know they're peddling a reasonably priced sword, I might need to check it out.

People have been buzzing about the surprising listing that was found on the company's website.

Damn, look at that. What makes it even better is that it's priced at around $50. I defy you to find a William Wallace Medieval Sword — or any other bladed weapon for that matter — with a sheath for that price.

With inflation still pretty high, you can't.

Still, you might need to convince your wife/girlfriend/significant other that you need this at a hardware store Claymore.

I know you're busy so allow me to come up with some arguments for you.

Someone's about to blow some dinner guests' minds... (Getty Images)

The Sword Is The Conversation Piece To End All Conversation Pieces

Let me tell you, if I walk into someone's room and there's some kind of sword or other weapon on the wall, I zero in on that. I don't know why, but I think it taps into the lizard part of a man's brain.

So, if you have company and you want to fuel conversation, look no further than the Home Depot Claymore (if that's not exactly what a Claymore is keep it to yourself, I don't need to hear it).

Just off the top of my head, here are some of the conversational directions you and your guests could take all thanks to the simple act of hanging a Home Depot-bought Braveheart sword on your wall could kickstart:

You can't put a price on conversation starters... actually, you can and Home Depot did. It's $50.

You Can Do Any Job That Calls For Something Sharp In Serious Style

Some people don't want to shell out money just for something that hangs on the wall. I get that, I'm a practical guy who likes practical things. I get it, and there's nothing more practical than a sword.

How many daily tasks require something sharp? A lot of them.

So, why not get one tool for a cool, crisp Grant (and a couple of Washingtons to cover sales tax) to handle them all?

Have to dice up some vegetables? Lucky you; your sword can handle that too.

Unruly hedges? Sword.

Loose thread on your shirt? Sword.

Want to carve your initials into a tree? Sword.

Need to open some mail? Great, grab the sword.

Seriously, at this point, you'd be stupid not to buy a sword, but there's still one reason to buy a Home Depot sword that tops them all...

Home Depot sells home improvement materials, but they also sell peace of mind. (KEN BLEVINS/STARNEWS)

A Home Depot Sword Is A Cost-Effective Way To Protect You And Your Family

You can't get a security system or even a Ring doorbell for under $50, and while a Home Depot blade won't let you spy on your neighbor, it will protect you and your home.

If you hear a bump in the night all you need to do is grab your sword. Off the wall. Then you creep downstairs and simply pull it out of the sheath. Do you know the only thing that would scare a home intruder more than the sound of someone racking a shotgun?

The sound of someone pulling a Braveheart sword out of its sheath.

Why? Because only a psycho would have a sword on hand to ward off intruders. That isn't to say that you are a psycho, but you want would-be home invaders to believe that you are.

That sound will do the trick nicely, and that's if they don't see the sword hanging on the wall before they even break in. The sight of it proudly hanging on the wall will make a home intruder move on to the next house 9 out of 10 times by my estimation.

I've never robbed a home, but if I was going to, I'd choose the house without a sword to the one with one.

Look at that. For only slightly more than the price of a phony ADT sign, you could have peace of mind.

If that doesn't sell your partner on a sword I'm not sure what will.

If none of these lines of reasoning resonate, just go buy the sword anyway. It's only $50.

Follow on X: @Matt_Reigle