Hockey Goalie Mikayla Demaiter Shocks The Internet By Smiling, Shedeur Sanders Draft Memes & Pat Puffs
Was that a boring 1st round of the NFL Draft?
It was for Shedeur Sanders. Imagine having that elaborate set created for your Draft night & then having it turn into a meme. It was a worst-case scenario for Deion's son. How will this play out?
Obviously, the Browns will take Sanders with the first pick of the 2nd round, and he will be sent off to the NFL's Siberia where he will be moody and want out an hour after arriving. That's how I hope this plays out.
Is Browns management haunted by Deshaun Watson to the point where they pass on Travis Hunter in the 1st AND Shedeur in the 2nd round? Is this a case of the Browns trying to go extremely boring just so they don't make further fools out of themselves?
This is why the Browns are such a treasure to the Draft year in and year out. You can't turn away from the car crash.
How am I feeling about MY Bengals? They needed defense and they got it. Now, the haters will say that Shemar Stewart had only 4 ½ sacks or something like that. But, did you see the aggressiveness he showed when Roger Goodell tried to get outside the pocket.
Shemar grabbed Goodell like he's going to grab Shedeur on a miserable late December Sunday with the Browns' season coming to a close.
— Anonymous pushes back on me saying the Draft is overrated:
Don't think people are getting tired of the draft. Just look at how many watch. And clearly, networks wouldn't pour the production dollars into this event if the interest wasn't there.
(Not sure what Jay Glazer is talking about. "Love football" has been a criteria in evals for general managers for damn near 20 years, maybe longer. He's just now learning this?)
What people *are* getting tired of are the incessant mock drafts. Back in the day when Joel Buchsbaum did one and one only (like Peter Schrager, Jonathan Jones and Mike Mayock do), that was respectful of the process. This seemingly daily "READ MEL'S NEW MOCK DRAFT!" has jumped the shark. If you have to change your mock every week for the 20th time, that tells me you have no conviction about your information and you don't trust your sources.
Once had a guy who does this for a living at the four-letter tell me to my face he doesn't care about accuracy and it's not even a priority. Well, if you don't care about accuracy, why the eff should I ever care what you write? Then you and your mocks are on the same level as cartoons.
In very simple terms, mock drafts have become an accepted version of trolling NFL fans. Mock drafts are the pure definition of "clickbait."
Years ago heard Daniel Jeremiah on SiriusXM NFL Radio go off on mock drafts and how much he hates them and the only reason he and others do so many is that they are ordered to do so by the powers that be. Interestly, I didn't hear a radio interview from Jeremiah for like eight years after that. Roger Goodell must have been peeved.
The draft is awesome. Loved it as a kid. Still do. Appointment TV.
The mock drafts that people are assaulted with beginning in January make me want to choke someone by the end of March. That element of the draft is beyond exhausting.
— John B. writes on why he won't attend the NFL Draft:
Buddy:
I want to be surrounded by fat, 40 year old dudes wearing 12 year old NFL jerseys that smell like moth balls. So I’m gonna go to the draft this year.
Me:
You can go to the nfl draft but fuck that, I’m staying home. Can get the same experience at Walmart.
Kinsey:
As a content compiler, I have enjoyed my time at the Cleveland and Detroit NFL Draft parties. This is one of the cheapest opportunities for fans to get close to an NFL product which means it turns into people watching like back during the Golden Age of shopping malls.
As a guy who loved people watching at the mall, the Draft is a home run for me.
The injury bug has officially hit my 12U Rec ball team
I'm beginning to think this is going to be a yearly thing.
The boy we lost last year to a broken ankle in a trampoline accident is now out three weeks with a broken wrist. It came one day after his best practice of Spring Training.
That puts me down to 11 players, which hurts because, as you guys know, families won't think twice to skip a rec ball game. Numbers are always an issue. The old timers around here will remember Championship Saturday last year when I had nine boys on a July day with temps in the 90s. It was a battle just to complete the 7-inning game.
But, this will just challenge my brain.
How will we adapt and overcome? How will I message this to my kids? Now comes the psychological games I must play to have one of my 11-year-olds rise up and become the next B+ player.
Fingers crossed I have enough kids to get through the season.
Yes, I've buckled up.
Is the Gorilla Dump Cart a good buy?
— Mike T. in Idaho stopped by Costco and this caught his eye:
Look at this beast!
Kinsey:
I had a TNML member who sent me a photo of his Gorilla cart setup where he pulls it behind his mower. How are we feeling about this cart? I have a four-wheel cart the compresses flat that I really like, but I always welcome the next great thing in suburban residential carts.
The only issue I see here is that storing this in a garage might be an issue. Under no circumstances am I adding a shed to our yard to store stuff like this. How did people survive in the early 1980s without sheds? They eliminated junk. I refuse to get a shed because I know what would be put in the shed.
Email: joe.kinsey@outkick.com or use my Gmail.
What makes your hometown famous or infamous?
— Michael V. tells me:
Hey Joe, happy opening day. Massapequa the town a mile down the road for me is both famous and infamous. It is infamous as being the former home of Joey Buttafuoco and Rex Heuermann.
Any of us who are old enough to remember the early 90s are familiar with Joey's wife being shot by Amy Fisher (who Joey was having an affair with). The story dominated the national headlines for weeks and a movie was made about it. Rex is accused of being the gilgo beach serial killer.
Both of their homes were actually tourist attractions which was sad and bizarre. There are several big name celebrities from Massapequa however, the town had two NYPD heroes that should always be remembered by all of us.
Brian Moore and Jonathan Diller were murdered in the line of duty during seperate incidences. Both lived in Massapequa. They made the ultimate sacrifice as first responders.
— Jim T. shares why Kettering, OH is famous or infamous:
Probably the Paxson brothers coming out of Alter High. Or Brady Hoke, former football coach at SDSU and that school up north.
— Steve B. in Grand Junction, Colorado shares a good one:
The town adjacent to me, Fruita, Colorado, is known for a chicken named "Mike," who, in the mid-1940's, survived for 18 months after having its head cut off.
Every year in early June we have a "Mike the Headless Chicken" festival. Not exactly Coachella, but the prices are cheaper.
— Scott K. shares:
Here's some Southeast MO infamy! The Boogie Woods is a legendary place outside of Dexter, MO. This dude, Dale Abel, is a character-escaping from jail multiple times. Now, apparently he is free at last! WTH? Hopefully kids growing up now can rediscover the legend of the Boogie Woods.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AK1rVvkHU/
— Dave in Minnesota hops into the conversation via my work email:
I grew up in St. Paul, MN. When Jack Morris was enshrined in the Hall of Fame, St. Paul became the only city in the world with three hall of farmers (Molitor, Winfield, and Morris). Joe Mauer now makes it four.
More importantly, I lived one block from the apartment where John Dillinger lived. There is still a bullet hole outside his second floor bedroom window that the building owner refused to fix. Another block away was the site of the Bremer kidnapping. The Hamm kidnapping was nearby also. St. Paul was a sanctuary city before it became fashionable. The police had a deal with underworld types back then.
— James from Poulsbo, Washington says:
My hometown is Poulsbo, not too far from Kingston where Mike T from Idaho recently posted pictures from.
1. Poulsbo is known as Little Norway
https://www.onlyinyourstate.com/trip-ideas/washington/poulsbo-wa
2. We're also a few miles north of Naval Base Kitsap Bangor, home of Trident Submarines.
Jon DeV. seemingly takes a shot at Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green destroying his real golf game via Golf+ where he was ranked like 100th in the world before disaster struck
For those who weren't following along, Millennial Chris B. got so good at virtual golf and living in a virtual world that his real life took a hit. In November, I witnessed one of the worst rounds of golf for an 8-9 handicap.
What caused it? He became such a good ball striker in virtual golf that it didn't translate over to real life. This Millennial got caught living in a fantasy world. Now he's trying to come back to reality.
— Jon DeV says:
Sorry if I missed the details, that being Golf+ on META. Sad that it is even considered ‘golf’ where you don’t swing an actual club at an actual ball. I’m more of a Trackman guy where it is actually nearly real….
Keep up the good work!
People and their contradictory license plates
— Michael P. in Staunton, Virginia writes:
Joe, the truck with the custom "sknssuk" license plate reminds me of another seemingly contradictory license plate. This one was a Liberty University plate on a car in a church parking lot. It said "GOD SUX".
Is this true?
— Mark W. checks in:
I can't speak to the accuracy of the study. I do, however, remember when I was a much younger- and single- guy and a friend of mine and myself were talking with a gentleman that had a few years on us age wise and had been married for a number of years. We looked up to him and valued his advice.
In the course of our conversation, my friend was talking about a young lady he was dating and said that he thought the relationship was getting serious.
Our older friend asked him if he was on "farting terms" with his girlfriend, and said if he wasn't, it was not a serious relationship. So maybe there is something to it.
My wife of soon to be 43 years of marriage will definitely dispute that study.
Thanks for all you do for the greatest community in America.
— Todd in Knoxville shares an email that had me cackling:
Regarding couples farting together; my take is that this is BS. My ex (married four years) took particular delight in farting on me. Crop dusting me in the hallway, farting in bed, or her particular favorite: when I would open her car door for her, and by the time I get around to the driver's side and climb in she had hotboxed the car and would cackle as I sat there disgusted.
My current wife (married 29 years next month) and I believe that there should be a bit of modesty when it comes to bodily functions. I have heard her fart on fewer than ten occasions (she was mortified each time). I have farted in front of her more times than that, but usually accidental and definitely not usual behavior.
Super raking is all the new rage (I'll admit to watching super raking YouTube videos)
— Alex R. tells me:
Last couple days hearing a lot about "Super Raking" which sounds exhausting and looks it to. The guys doing this by hand are animals and the yards look great. Just want to make sure everyone knows that there are machines for this as well(see below). Now most are corded but compared to doing it by hand with a rake I will deal with a cord.
Home Depot rents these and the one below is actually gas powered. I think it would be worth the $70 - $100 compared to doing it by hand but that's just me. To each his own yard, I just know I would be crippled for a week if I power raked my whole yard. Ready to lay stripes today!!
