HBO Max Will Have CNN Breaking News Alerts Pop Up During Shows, Movies

HBO Max, also known as "Max," is reportedly going to start having live news pop-ups during your program.

That's right, whether it's Succession or South Park, viewers will now be shown frickin' 'breaking news' pop-ups at the bottom of their screen as if they are watching the news. Ya know, because that's exactly what people want as they purposely watch movies to get away from the reality of this shattered Earth.

Want to know how to destroy a brand? Just follow what Warner Bros. Discovery is doing to "Max."

Warner Bros Discovery is introducing breaking news pop-ups to the new HBO Max service. (Photo Illustration by Rafael Henrique/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

HBO MAX IS NOW KNOWN AS MAX

I bet some of you didn't even know that HBO Max is no longer. It is simply called "Max" but don't confuse it with "Cinemax," which anyone over the age of 35 will surely do. I kid you not, I was out this past weekend and someone brought up Max and I immediately thought it was Cinemax. Why? Because HBO Max was always referred to in common talk as HBO... but now, HBO doesn't exist. Which means HBO Max doesn't exist... which means I should just go and... well, yeah.

Confused yet? Damn right you are. But wait, it gets better...

Because Warner Bros. Discovery now owns CNN, they obviously have incorporated a CNN streaming channel into their "Max" program.

And what better way to promote the new channel than through annoying pop-up banners and advertisements. Which is exactly what some marketing and promotional geniuses decided to do.

According to Variety, Warner plans on adding the pop-ups as “ways of alerting Max viewers to breaking news while they are watching something else on the service.”

CNN WILL UNVEIL A 24-HOUR CNN MAX STATION IN SEPTEMBER

We clearly must be fools for thinking that we wanted to watch movies, stream shows and have some damn peace and quiet away from the hellhole that the world currently is and the nonstop negative coverage that everything stinks these days, by turning on Max. Clearly we are at fault here and CNN and Warner Bros. wants us to know that by shoving breaking news alerts on us while we're just trying to watch Eric Cartman make fun of people on South Park.

It doesn't make sense. It's so stupid. It's so dumb. It's going to aggravate a hell of a lot of people and for what? Really, for what? Does Warner Bros. Discovery really think that if someone gets pinged with a pop-up that Donald Trump had a mugshot photo taken, or that there's expected to be bad weather next weekend in a certain part of the country, that people are going to immediately stop watching their favorite show and jump on over to CNN Max?

Hell no they aren't.

There's already an alerting device for things that truly matter in life...it's called a cell phone. If something truly bad happened in the world, you can be sure that someone from a group text is going to alert everyone else.

Max will reportedly have breaking news alerts in partnership with its CNN Max channel. (Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images)

MAX COSTS $10 A MONTH

I bet we see Warner Bros. try to play this down as "important breaking news stories only!" Yeah, that's how the 24-hour news stations originally promoted the "ticker" at the bottom of the screen as well as breaking news alerts. Guess what - now the networks deem a giraffe escaping out of a zoo as breaking news.

This would never be allowed if Logan Roy was in charge of Warner Bros and CNN.