Halle Berry Strips Down On Mother's Day, Grace Harbaugh Hits The Pool & Stadium Proposal Ends With A Slap

Hell yes – we've made it to one of the most underrated weeks of the entire year. 

That's right. I said it. And right about now, you're racking your brains trying to figure out what the hell I'm so pumped about on this Mid-May-Monday. 

NHL playoffs? Nah. Can't be. I love the Panthers, but eliminating the Bruins tomorrow ain't that exciting. 

NBA playoffs? Come on. You know me better than that. Haven't watched one single second, and I won't. The league hasn't been the same since the Lakers-76ers Finals back in 2001. All downhill since. 

Nobody is excited for baseball in mid-May, especially when they're hemorrhaging money like yours truly. 

So … what is it, you ask?

It's NFL Schedule Release week! One of my favorite events on the sports calendar each year. I'm serious. Nothing gets me more fired up than right around this time tomorrow when the leaks start to hit the internet a full 24 hours before the league dedicates hours-worth of programming on Wednesday to unveil the schedule. 

It's the best. It's not for everyone, but for me, it's awesome. Just reminds me that we're that much closer to football season. 

NFL schedule release, followed by OTAs, followed by mini camp, followed by training camp, followed by Hard Knocks, followed by preseason, followed by fantasy drafts and then Week 1. 

The best. Let's have a week. 

On that very long note, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we welcome badass mom Halle Berry to class, literally, and go from there. 

What else? Jim Harbaugh's daughter, Grace Harbaugh, is officially a Michigan grad after the weekend, and she celebrated in style. We'll also check in with Jim while we're at it, because he has me ready to run through a brick wall this week. 

I'd also like to check in on the baseball content from over the weekend, including a wild scene down in college and another AWFUL call out of Oakland. I reckon we'll also take a gander at the new portal to Ireland set up in NYC, which is going exactly as well as you'd imagine. 

And by that, I mean predictably awful. 

Grab you a water from the fridge just in case your wife is watching, and then sneak a beer when she turns her back, and then settle in for a Monday 'Cap!

Halle Berry had a big Mother's Day!

So, how did all the husbands-with-kids fair yesterday? Nothing more stressful than Mother's Day, if we're being honest. It's the worst. Unreal amount of pressure. 

Amber told us last week that all moms really wanted for the big day was essentially to be left alone and have everything else planned out ahead of time. I tried. I failed. 

The First Lady has been sick since Wednesday. I figured by Sunday, she'd fine. I was wrong. She was certainly better yesterday, but not 100%. 

So, we skipped church, which I figured would kill four hours in the morning. Instead, we woke up, and had flowers on the table for her, along with a cool gift I found Saturday at a downtown market. 

It was some stupid thing called "Book with a blind date," which is apparently a big fad right now in the reading community where people pick out books, wrap them up, and give out clues as to what the book is on the front of the wrapping cover without actually unveiling the title. 

The First Lady was literally just telling me she needed a new book to read ahead of vacation next weekend, so I thought, ‘Yes, nailed it.’

Except, we discovered the blind book I picked was one she'd already read. Awesome. Great. 

Anyway, long story … long … the whole morning was suddenly wide open, so she suggested brunch. Except it was Mother's Day and you need a reservation for brunch, which I didn't make because it wasn't supposed to be an option. Couldn't get in anywhere. Booked solid. Awesome, again. 

The rest of the day was fine, I reckon. We had somewhat of a rebound for dinner last night with a couple mignons on the grill, so it wasn't a total bust. Just a lot of moving parts, and I wasn't prepared for it. That's on me. 

At least I avoided the dreaded "post a picture of my wife's bare ass on the internet" move. I got that going for me. 

What a weekend of baseball content

Whoaaaaa Nelllllie! Welcome to class, Halle Berry. Goodness. Who knew Halle Berry was still relevant in 2024? I hadn't heard from her since she was murdering terrorists in the snow with Pierce Brosnan in Die Another Day. 

Pierce, by the way, is the best James Bond. There, I said it. 

Anyway, no idea why Halle was naked on her balcony, but to each their own. When you're a 57-year-old billionaire, you can do whatever the hell you want. 

PS: 57?! Time flies. Fastball still works. 

Speaking of heaters … we had another big weekend of baseball content. Seriously. Paul Skenes was dominant on Saturday, Livvy got her time to shine, and some dude at the Blue Jays game gambled … and lost. 

We also had Oakland A's announcer, Jenny Cavnar, check back in with another electric home run call, and one player down in college learn a very hard lesson about finishing the mission. 

Insane content:

The Harbaughs & the portal 

Just so much to break down. Where do I even begin? 

We wrote about the new A's announcer a few weeks ago, and I did have one student reach out to me about her. 

Mail time with … Oakland A's Zach!

And yes, Jenny Cavnar isn't very good. There was a call just last week where she missed about 70% of a home run because she was talking about crap that didn't matter at all. But also yes, Dallas Braden is excellent as a color guy and props her up. She will undoubtedly get better, but it's painful now (kind of like the Athletics right now).

Some of us can't help but wonder if she was hired simply because she was 1) cheaper for the skinflint A's owner to hire, or 2) an attempt to atone for the supposed transgression of the last Oakland announcer, who was very good and ran afoul of cancel culture for a supposed grievance last year, or 3) both. <sigh> Not easy to be an A's fan the last few years.

Thanks, Zach! Sorry it took so long to open this bad boy, but I appreciate the insight. That was just an awful call. Good lord. 

All in all, a solid, SOLID, weekend of content from the diamond. How about the bat flip to the dome? Unreal. And the baseball mom with a dozen hot dogs in her bust? 

I'd take her over naked Halle Berry any day of the week! 

Rapid-fire time on a Mid-May Monday. First up? Let's check in with the newest Michigan alum, Grace Harbaugh, who not only has a firecracker father but is also a firecracker water polo … player? Swimmer? 

Regardless, she's elite:

Welcome to class, Grace! When one school door closes, another opens. We're BIG Jim Harbaugh fans around here – well, I am, at least – so you'll fit right in. 

Speaking of Jimbo … our man was FIRED UP for some rookie mini-camp practice over the weekend:

Incredible. We're in for such a big NFL season. I can't wait. How can we lose with that sort of mentality now in the league?

We can't. And we'll find out who he plays Week 1 this Wednesday! 

How's THAT for bringing this class full circle?!

Finally … let's quickly check in with the fancy new portal in NYC that allows New Yorkers to communicate with the Irish for some odd reason:

Louisiana reporter Falon Brown takes us into a big week

It lasted a full three days before getting shut down. We really are a bunch of third-graders. Funny, but so childish. 

Anyone who didn't see that one coming is an idiot, by the way. I'm just shocked we didn't see any boobs. Felt like that was an obvious one, too. Oh well. Maybe one day. 

Here's WBRZ 2 Baton Rouge reporter Falon Brown getting honked at by a bunch of horny dudes to take us into a big week. 

Let's go have one. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Does Halle Berry still have her fastball? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.