Having A Bad Day? At Least You're Not The Guy Who Was Bit On The Balls By A Snake While On The Toilet
I had no plans to go to Thailand any time soon, but if I did, I would be canceling them after what I saw some dude posted on social media: a video of a snake in a toilet.
I've heard of snakes in toilets before — I'm no herpetologist, but I think a species known as the "dirt snake" is found in porcelain bowls pretty often — but, believe it or not, it gets even worse.
But what could be worse than finding a snake in the toilet, Matt, you dope?
I don't know why this escalated to name-calling, but the one thing that would be worse is finding a snake in the toilet after it bit you square in ball bag-bag.
By the way, ladies, fun fact for you: every guy who's reading this just winced because of that last sentence.
According to TMZ, Thanat Tangtewanon posted the video that has been making the rounds on social media. Tangtewanon reportedly got things churning on the BM front at around 10 am and even gave the toilet a preemptive flush.
That's because he knew that sometimes storms can lead to reptiles through the pipes.
Should've made that two flushes.
He was minding his own business, letting nature take its course — maybe playing Wordle; I don't know his habits — when he got a sharp pain right in the twins' playpen.
Fortunately, for him it was pretty easy to suss out what the problem was because there was a python in the toilet… and that's not a euphemism.
Think about it: nowhere are you more vulnerable than on the can. You're literally caught with your pants down, and worse yet, those pants are around your ankles making a quick getaway an impossibility unless you're really good at some kind of bummy hop move.
Then, to make matters worse, your manhood is just hanging there looking like a speedbag for any would-be predators.
Nightmare fuel indeed.
Fortunately, Tangtewanon got the medical attention he needed and is doing alright.
Although, I wouldn't be surprised if he was still icing the boys with a bag of frozen peas.