Calling All Complainers: Welcome To The Gripe Report With Matt Reigle

There are few things I love as much as complaining. 

I mean good complaining. Not just "That movie sucked" or "sunglasses with those tethers attached to them are stupid" (they are). I’m talking about a meticulously thought-out gripe that picks through the minutiae of something completely inconsequential.

Complaining about little things like the trials and tribulations of zeroing a new toaster or the evolution of trail mix from a healthy snack to basically a trick-or-treat basket isn’t just something I do to annoy those around me, it makes me feel alive.

I even have some complaining heroes. Larry David, Adam Carolla, and Anakin Skywalker (dude, hated sand) are just a few of the great complainers I’d admire, but you can trace the artform back to the late Andy Rooney (...Didja-ever notice?!), or even Mark Twain.

People always say not to sweat the small stuff, but that’s where the fun is.

Complaining rules. I love it. It’s cathartic.

That’s why I wanted to build a place where I can come and complain and, better yet, where you can complain. 

And then I can complain about your complaints, you can complain about mine, and so on and so forth (this could in theory go on forever until the sun explodes).

Who knows where this journey will take us, but I can assure you one thing: there will be bitching.

Welcome to "The Gripe Report"

Calling all complainers: The Gripe Report is here.

The Gripe Report Game Plan

So, the plan here is that we’re going to make this a forum for complaints of all kinds. The smaller and pettier the better. I don’t want to hear why you have a problem with some kind of advanced economic theory or how you can bring peace to the Middle East. There are other, more important people with whom you can share those insights.

Are you militant in your belief that pickle chips are inferior to pickle spears? Dude, type a few sentences and send them to me. 

Would you die happy if you never heard the song "Sweet Caroline" ever again? Me too, let me know why you feel that way.

Does a vein in your eye start pulsing when a cyclist blocks traffic? Give your wife a break from having to listen to you gripe about it and email it to me right now: mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com

Any complaint you’ve got I want you to send it my way… except maybe how bummed you are that you’re not as handsome as me. I’d expect a lot of those and don’t have the time to sift through them all. Let’s just assume everyone is jealous of chiseled (out of Play-Doh) features and Sasquatchian posture.

But anything else? It’s fair game, pal.

We’re going to build a little community and together we’re going to make complaining great again! 

(Are we allowed to put that on a shirt? I don’t know. I might need to double-check on that…)