Grace Charis Chases Paige Spiranac On Surfboard, Gators Take Massive L, Mallory Edens Is Back & So Are Football Fights
It's a new week, Paige Spiranac rival Grace Charis has taken up surfing, there's a hurricane barreling towards Florida and we have college football on the horizon.
YOU tell me where I should start?! I've got a lawn to mow before it's covered with debris until Halloween, liquor to stock up on before ABC closes down, deck furniture to sadly put in until (hopefully) this weekend.
Ain't my first rodeo dealing with one of these bad boys, so I know exactly how to correctly prepare for 'em. Make sure the yard looks good because we're nothing if not hospitable down here, make sure the beer shelf is full, ice in the cooler because our power is DONEZO, and patio(s) cleared.
After that, it's all in God's hands. You just sit back and hope those 17 trees above the house were planted reallllllll good 70 years ago. And don't come at me with, "but you have to board up!"
That's amateur hour. Ya'll know what I pay for Homeowners insurance down here? I ain't boarding a thing. I'm getting my money's worth.
It's not all hurricanes today, though. Don't worry. We've got surfer Grace Charis pursuing Paige Spiranac, an absolute MONSTER alligator caught by the boys in the SEC West, and a WILD helicopter crash caught on video down in Pompano Beach.
Maybe we'll even check in with Aaron Rodgers and his alleged GF Mallory Edens? Football season is back and so are those rumors, which is GREAT news for us in the #content game.
Enough stalling -- Idalia's on the way and I've got beer to get. Let's roll.
Fine, let's start with Grace Charis chasing Paige Spiranac on a surfboard
I'll be honest, I usually like to start with something witty and less obvious, but I just don't have the time today. It's an action-packed Monday at the Dean compound and I know the old folks around here are about to put an absolute hurting on the grocery store.
So, let's check in with Paige Spiranac rival Grace Charis.
We haven't talked about Grace here in a while, actually. Hell, maybe since Augusta when she basically copied Paige's outfit.
Knowing this, I decided to pull up her Instagram page to see what she's been up to lately and BAM, surfing USA!
Mississippi gives the Gator(s) their first L of college football season
Thanks for the update, Grace! I still give the nod to Paige Spiranac, but if you'd like the OutKick moniker of "The Paige Spiranac of Surfing" I think I can make that happen. Let me know!
It's college football season, boys and girls. Notre Dame beat the crap out of Navy Saturday to kick us off -- how great was Sam Hartman? -- and I had an up and down first weekend of gambling.
Just kidding! I got slaughtered. Went 0 for 3. Told you to take the over on the above game even though I really wanted to go under. Should have.
Told you to take La Tech plus the points over FIU. Wrong.
Also said Vandy would cover the -17.5 against Hawaii. They won by a touchdown.
Good stuff. That's why it's preseason, though. Needed to shake off the rust. We're about to be millionaires this weekend.
Speaking of college football, the boys out in Mississippi absolutely crushed the terrible Gators over the weekend!
Wild helicopter crash caught on video from Florida
Just one of many losses I suspect the Gators will take this year, beginning this Thursday night. No shot they're going to Utah and winning, I don't care who Utah's QB is. Ain't happening.
(If you read the above portion on my gambling endeavors last weekend you just put the mortgage on UF. Smart move, frankly.)
Speaking of Florida, let's head down to Pompano Beach to check on the aviation industry:
Welcome back, Mallory Edens and Aaron Rodgers!
People always make fun of me for being terrified of flying, but I'll never buckle. No thank you. Not for me. That looks just awful. I'll stick with my sea level, thank you very much.
You know what's not awful? The return of one my favorite NFL rumors: Aaron Rodgers and Milwaukee Bucks' Heiress, Mallory Edens.
Things were hot and heavy with them back in January, but the trail has been cold ever since. That is, until Aaron made his Jets debut Saturday with Mallory in attendance.
Coincidence, I'm sure.
Football fights are BACK, at all levels
I've always been fond of tomato season. Ya'll ever had a really good beefsteak tomato? Unreal. I'd eat that bad boy like an apple. The best.
Anyway, good to have you back, Mallory! Aaron seemed pumped about it, too:
Whoof. The AFC East is gonna be a bloodbath this season. What a division. Come on, Jonathan Taylor. I promise we're a fun state, hurricanes aside.
While we're on the topic of bloodbaths, this seems like a good time to welcome back one of my favorite pastimes: football fights from the stands.
They're back, baby!
First up? We head out west to a place known for these:
From Joe Kinsey, who covered this like the OJ trial:
The Santa Clara, California police say they had an old-fashioned prison fight on their hands Friday night at an In & Out burger joint where someone pulled a shiv and started doing work on an opponent.
Police say at least 10 individuals, which were Raiders and 49ers fans, dropped the gloves around 11:12 Friday night and went to work proving just how big of scumbags these two sides can be.
Thanks, Joe! Now, lets go out to our Texas correspondent for a Friday Night Lights stiff-arm that was heard round the world (40-second mark of the second video):
Marissa Lawrence takes us into the week
Holy hell! What a damn stiff-arm! What an unbelievable mismatch. That was Derrick Henry-esque. I've seen that very move on many Sundays, but never like this on a Friday night!
Chills. What a move. And she's talking on the phone, too! Just flicks her off like an annoying little mosquito.
Get outta here, fly!
Football is BACK, baby!
And Marissa Lawrence is ready for it.
Let's go have a week.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Would Paige Spiranac stiff-arm Grace Charis on the golf course? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.