Gov. Kristi Noem Unloads Hunting Content, Nick Saban's Daughter Back In Tuscaloosa & The Mob Is Seething Today

Well, here we are – election week. Thank God, it's almost over. 

Wait, what? We still have one more week of this? Goodness gracious. I'm exhausted. Surely all the craziness is behind us, though! Smooth sailing from here. 

At least we got a wild NFL Sunday, am I right? Well, y'all may have. I was in hell. Just pure, Miami Dolphins hell. I was so irrationally angry after those dummies blew a 10-point lead – twice! – yesterday that I did not watch a single snap of a single NFL game the rest of the day. Not one. 

I went to bed at 9 a.m. last night. 9 a.m.! Now, I realize I missed a doozy of a day, but as is life as a Dolphins fan. We're forced to watch shit football for three hours and miss all the good stuff. Thank God for Twitter. 

Oh yeah! I also saw a three-player anytime TD parlay on Twitter yesterday from a gambling dude I follow that I meant to put in. $30 would've paid out $1,200. I always tail this guy. 

Anyway, we went to a pumpkin patch yesterday morning. The kids melted down on the way home, predictably, and by the time I restored order the 1 p.m. games already started and I missed my chance to put it in. 

It, of course, hit. Shocking. It's really amazing at this point. 

Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we shoot the piss out of some pheasants AGAIN with Gov. Kristi, and then check in with Kristen Saban after a big weekend of Alabama homecoming. 

What else? I've got the STICK TO SPORTS crowd ANGRY at Nick Bosa today – even though they ignored insufferable Gregg Popovich on Friday – the best of the best from a loaded weekend of #content, and Ted Lasso's new girlfriend dropped some insane Instagram content this morning. 

Believe!

OK, grab you some 100% woke-free tequila from Conservative Dad, and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!

Is this the dumbest thing you've ever seen from the left?

I don't love tequila. I'll be honest right off the bat. Just not my thing. I don't know if it's the smell or what, but I can't get into it. 

The First Lady LOVES a margarita – shocking! – and every time I try it I'm left wondering why in the world people would order it. Mind-boggling. 

I'm a whiskey guy. Nothing against tequila or vodka or gin, but it's whiskey or beer for me. Unless you offer me up a vodka-cran. I can get on board with that. 

Anyway, I got my hands on that above drink from the folks over at Conservative Dad and I gotta say … as much as I don't love tequila, this little sip helped ease the pain of yesterday's miserable Dolphins game. 

I was out of whiskey like an amateur, the beer wasn't quite cold enough yet (again, I wasn't at my best yesterday), so this is what I had in the pantry. 

And it got the job done. AND, it made me laugh. So, win-win! On a day filled with loss, this was a nice win. Kudos to Conservative Dad, although I still prefer their Ultra Right beer. 

You know who I can assure you does NOT drink Ultra Right beer? Timmy W. and AOC!

What a weekend of content!

I mean, those were my thoughts, too, as soon as I saw this stupid little charade pop up on Twitter yesterday afternoon. Like, this stunt is dumb enough on its own, but to go live … during the peak of an NFL Sunday … had to be one of the dumbest moves I've ever seen the Dems make. 

It's mind-boggling how out of touch they are on literally everything. Everything. They're up in arms today because of Tony Hinchcliffe – a COMEDIAN – saying some mean things about Puerto Rico last night at Trump's rally. 

And you know who else cares? Nobody. Noooooooooooooooooobody. Because he's a comedian and normal, sane people understand comedy. Goodness. 

Anyway, I'm sure AOC and Tim Walz playing Madden against each other during an NFL Sunday afternoon will help get this election back on track for the sinking Democrats. Smart. Trump must have lost sleep over it last night. 

OK. Let's get to a big weekend of #content before it goes out of style:

Stick to sports! (unless it's bashing Trump), Kristen Saban & Gov. Kristi is back to blasting her gun

I mean, "talk about deez nutz" will always be a mic drop comeback. You can't recover from that. It's a game-clincher. 

If you're arguing with someone and they beat you to the punch with a "talk to deez nuts" zinger, it's game over. Whether you're right or wrong, you've lost.

PS: how about the Cowboys losing again and Trevon Diggs immediately checking Twitter and lighting up the reporter who sent the tweet? What a franchise. Makes the Dolphins look respectable. 

PPS: welcome to class, Elsie Hewitt! Jason Sudeikis' girlfriend is now on Passes! That's an October surprise we can all appreciate. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this final-Monday-of-October (sad). First up? The mob is FURIOUS at Nick Bosa today. Just seething. 

Mikey Freeman!!!! An OutKick favorite checks back in with the tried-and-true, STICK TO SPORTS reaction to anything that's pro-Trump. 

Now, it would be a fair comment from Mike – USA Today's Race and Inequality Editor (what a title!) – if he would be fair about it. But, the left isn't fair when it comes to this crap, which is why nobody takes them seriously. 

Anyone here wanna guess what Mikey had to say about this little outburst from nutbag Gregg Popovich?

Don't bother looking at Mike's timeline – I'll spare you. The answer is … crickets. Nothing. Nada. Mike didn't like Nick Bosa wearing a MAGA hat, but had nothing to say about Gregg's unhinged rant. 

Stick to sports, though!

Next? Kristen Saban returned to Alabama on Saturday and the Tide finally won a game. Shocker!

That's our girl! Oh, Bama’s in trouble and about to lose another game? Let's get a Saban in town, STAT. Bam. All better. All is well in Tuscaloosa. For now. 

OK, that's it for today. I've got a toddler throwing things in the living room and an 8-week-old trying to sleep on mom in the kitchen. If I don't act quickly, it's gonna be a long night. 

Let's go have a week. 

Take us home, Governor Kristi!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You switch Red Zone to watch the Madden game yesterday? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.

Written by
Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.