Gov. Kristi Noem Shows Kamala How To Build The Wall, Softballer Brylie St. Clair Inhales Millers & Bob Costas!

Whew. It's 1:44 p.m. and I'm just now getting started on Nightcaps. True story. What a day. 

My internet went out early this morning, which is par for the course for awful Spectrum. I hate Spectrum. It's the worst. But, unfortunately, it's pretty much our only option here in Central Florida. 

Goes out all the time. All. The. Time. It SUCKS. 

Anyway, it came back on – briefly – this morning, only to go out, again. This time, it never came back on. I waited. And waited. And waited some more. Until the First Lady was clearly at the end of her rope because she couldn't watch one of her baking shows while my kid napped on her for eight hours. 

When she gets pissed, I spring into action. Have to. I have to keep order around here somehow, and if watching something called "The Great British Baking Show" is what's gonna do it, then we're gonna have to get this internet situation corrected. 

So, I went into the office and checked the modem itself. It was off. Just … off. Turns out, the outlet just stopped working sometime this morning. How is that even possible? Do they just … stop working? Is that how electricity works? 

Anyway, I plugged it into a different one and … voilà. The Brits are back to judging puff pastries, the First Lady is happy again, and I'm now on the clock because this class begins in two hours. 

So, we ride. And we ride FAST. A quickie day, which is good because I'm great at that (allegedly). 

On that long, non-quickie note, welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – where we build the damn wall with Gov. Kristi Noem and then slug Miller Lites with Brylie St. Clair. It's been a while since we welcomed the World's Hottest Professional Softballer back to class, so this will be a nice little treat. 

What else? I've got Smokin' Charley Hull hitting the gym, a goth Boise State volleyball player who I cannot get enough of, and it's time to mentally prepare ourselves for #BobCostas season!

Yuck. 

OK, no time for a drink today. I've got a lesson-plan to map out, and I've got an hour to do it. Let's roll. 

What a deal at the Applebee's!

Just kidding! We always have time for drinks here. It is the name of the class, after all. Who's down for a field trip to the Applebee's?!

I'll level with you … I think Applebee's gets a bad rap. I do. I love that place. Maybe it's the white trash in me, but I think it's spectacular. 

Two-for-1's out the ass all day, and cheap food in a sports bar surrounded by TVs? I mean, what the hell is there not to like? And you know what, Trade in Charge? If that's really true, I'll just buy 10 of ‘em and have myself a damn night. Don’t tempt me with a good time. 

In a world where Blockbuster is gone, Red Lobster is in Chapter 11 hell, and K-Marts are all but extinct, you know what hasn't gone under yet? Applebee's. 

Somehow, someway, that giant red apple is still in every town, with every local newspaper clipping of the local high school football team plastered on every single wall. 

So piss off. Nightcaps stands with Applebee's!

Whew. What a rant! And it wasn't even called for. Just came out of left field. 

Speaking of … who's ready for nonstop Bob Costas starting this weekend?!

Not the best start for postseason baseball

My God. What a disaster for Yankees and Royals fans. I just can't imagine a worse scenario than having to sit through Bob Costas waxing poetic about some player from 1929 for three hours while there's an actual game going on. 

And it's gonna happen – don't you worry. Bob pissing off baseball fans with his nonstop yammering is an October tradition like no other. 

Just wait. 

With any luck, we'll get more #content like this:

Great day for Boise State, Charley hits the gym and Brylie hydrates with Millers

Hey! Lauren Shehadi! Welcome back to class. It's been a minute. We started the regular season with Lauren, and we're starting the postseason with her, too. 

If we have to suffer through Bob, we better get Lauren sprinkled in every few innings. It's only fair. Frankly, it's the least Major League Baseball could do. 

OK, rapid-fire time before the bell rings and I'm late for class. First up? What an absolute breakout day for Boise State:

Buddy, I am all in on this Nora Hayd lady out in Idaho. All in. I LOVE when these stories come across my screen. Don't know why, but they just fire me up every single time. 

It's not often that you see a Gothic chick smacking the shit out of some volleyballs, so we have to appreciate them when they come along. Nora here is all over the internet today, which means she has unfortunately gone private on her Instagram. Sad. 

Nora, if you're out there, don't let the haters get you down. Embrace this notoriety. Run with it. Lean into it. Big chance here. Don't miss it. 

PS: Electric Boise TikTok, too. Great day for that area. 

Next? Time to hit the gym with America's favorite golfer!

Active is Attractive. 

Amen, sister. Keep grinding, Charley! What a day for diversity here in class! How many other blogs are jumping from Gothic college volleyball players to smokeshow golfers today? None. There ain't one in the world. 

It's why we win awards. 

Finally … It's Miller time!

Gov. Kristi Noem visits Texas, too!

Big summer for former Miss. State softball star, Brylie St. Claire, and I think she's in for an even bigger fall. Love a girl who slugs down Miller Lites. I'm a Busch Light – and Ultra Right! – guy myself, but Miller is a close second. 

Good catching up, Brylie! Hope you're enjoying Texas. Lord knows South Dakota Gov. Kristin Noem did earlier this week. 

Take us home, Gov. And thanks for looking out. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Is Gov. Kristi the real Border Czar? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.