George Kittle Enjoys Montana Hot Tub With His Wife, Most-Searched Sex Positions Will Put Your Mind In A Pretzel & Collinsworth Snaps At NBC Ref

It's Monday, the Dolphins completely ruined my NFL Sunday, my computer is broken, I spent two hours yesterday afternoon at a 2-year-old's birthday party and I'm petrified to look at my gambling account because I had about 12 bets on the Germany game and they all lost.

Every single one.

How's your day going? Good? Great!

Fine. I'll perk up. I don't wanna shortchange the Nightcaps faithful. You guys deserve my best, and while you probably won't get that today, I'm gonna do my damndest to be a professional.

So, we move forward.

George Kittle and GOAT wife Claire enjoyed Montana during the 49ers' bye week and Claire shared the big trip accordingly. Brock Purdy and his fiancée spent the bye week tilling the land while the Kittle's got half-naked in Montana.

Different worlds.

What else? Well, we have a brand new list of most-searched sex positions making the rounds, and I certainly would like to dive in. Ya'll really like the pretzel, huh? Interesting.

Cris Collinsworth got a little mouthy with NBC's chief referee Terry McAulay last night, and I for one LOVED it. You can be the judge, though. Oh yeah! A deer BLEW through some restaurant windows over the weekend AND I realized what the most underrated candy of all time is.

True story.

OK, enough stalling. I'm pissed and ready to talk some sex positions. Let's go.

Sex positions include the pretzel, corkscrew and butter churner

Yeah, I mean obviously we're gonna start with that one. Let's dive in.

According to Google Trends data by the sex toy site Bedbible, the most-searched sex position in 14 states is the “pretzel."

"To emulate bread in bed, a person lays on their side while their partner straddles their bottom leg and holds up their top leg to penetrate them," writes the NY Post.

Sounds like a leg cramp waiting to happen. Next!

Coming in second is the Speed Bump, followed by the Eiffel Towel. The former involves a pillow for some extra elevation, while the latter involves a third party. I'll let ya'll figure those out for yourselves.

Weirdo California is into Cupid's arrow, which is essentially just a more complicated reverse cowgirl -- why mess with a classic? -- while the fine folks of Georgia and Michigan seem real kinky.

Also, I know everyone is gonna look at this below list and immediately want to know what the hell the folks in Alaska are into.

Google it at your own risk. We have class here at Nightcaps, and my line is apparently Triceratops. Good to know.

George Kittle and wife Claire invade Montana

Zero shot George and Claire Kittle tried out there lotus during their little bye week excursion, either.

Here's the definition, courtesy of an article I found in Yahoo! Finance of all places:

The Lotus, a chill but deeply-intimate position that prioritizes closeness, is a great way to connect with your partner and engage in all the gooey, love-y behavior that this dreamy season encourages.

Just have the penetrating partner sit pretzel-style (or with their legs open in a way that’s comfortable!) and the receiving partner climb aboard and wrap your legs around them. Whether you’re using a toy or just your bodies, you can grind, move and adjust as needed while holding some sweet meaningful eye contact or swapping dirty words and kisses. Win, win, win.

Yeah, OK. Claire Kittle is atop the NFL WAG mountain for a reason, and it ain't because her and George are enjoying red wine and a nice book by the fireplace on their vacations. This would put them both to sleep.

Cris Collinsworth is tired of Terry McAulay's sh*t

Welcome to class, Claire and George Kittle! Hope ya'll had a nice week away. The Niners needed it, too, after losing three in a row.

The Bills could probably use a little time off, too. They've lost two of three, and are a pretty ticky-tack no-call against the Giants away from being 4-5 right now.

Where do we stand on Caleb Williams?

People hate on Cris Collinsworth, but that little bark-back at Terry may endear him to the masses. I've said it all year -- the NFL officiating this season has been beyond atrocious.

I don't understand how Tua was flagged for intentional grounding yesterday morning when he was literally throwing it to someone, and I don't understand why the that above play is one, either.

And that's coming from a Dolphins fan!

Not to mention this pathetic call in the Pats game:

Embarrassing. Truly ridiculous. Great, now I've defended both the Bills and Pats today. Show's you how annoyed I am with Miami.

Before we rapid-fire this bay boy into the night, I need to know where the Nightcaps faithful stands on Caleb Williams crying in the stands.

Deer for dinner, thongs and Almonds Joys

Yeah, I think I'm more in the Mathis camp than the RGIII camp on this one. Just kind of weird, right? This is the same cat that painted F-U on his fingernails last year, right? And then the whole NFL ownership thing?

I don't know, it would all just make me a little queasy if I was an NFL GM going into next April. I don't wanna knock him too hard but it's just ... weird. Tebow used to cry all the time, but at least he stayed on the sidelines or at the podium with the whole "promise" speech back in 2008.

Jumping into the stands with mom and curling up in the fetal position was certainly a choice by Caleb here.

OK, rapid fire time!

First up? Deer for dinner in Salem:

Ya'll like Venison? Delicious stuff. Back strap is the GOAT. I've also heard that deer heart is a delicacy worth trying. Once made a nice deer chili, too. I still think cow is better in something like that because it's fattier, but venison certainly gets the job done.

Ever had bear chili? Also worth a try. Man, I'm giving out some freebies today!

Next up? Where do we fall on whether this is a thong or not?

That's the FIRST thing I thought about when I saw the video, and I'm still not convinced it wasn't a thong. He doesn't really say what they were, just tags some underwear company that I'm sure is having one hell of a Monday. Good for them.

I'm #TeamThong until proven different.

PS: I debated whether putting that Friends clip in here because I'm still not ready to talk about Matthew Perry. Don't know if I can watch it ever again. Just brutal.

Finally, on the way out, I'd just like to quickly revise my Mount Rushmore of Halloween candy from a few weeks back and put Almond Joy as No. 1.

That's right -- No. 1.

Had a couple this weekend for the first time in forever because the in-laws had some leftover from Halloween, and it was maybe the best bite of candy I've ever had. Not even close. Everyone scoffed at me, but I don't care.

Here's the revised list, with former No. 4, fruit-flavored tootsie rolls that come in different colored packaging, getting the unfortunate demotion:

And on that note, here's Justin Herbert's alleged NFL Network girlfriend Taylor Bisciotti to take us into Monday Night Football.

Let's go have a week.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Did Claire and George Kittle do Montana proud? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.