Genie Bouchard In A Landscaper Costume That Has People Talking, Sleepy Eagles Fan & Rogan Shows Off His Meat
Weekend Recap
- Trust me, I'm not complaining, but I'm complaining that the weather has been ridiculously nice this fall. Too nice. There hasn't been a single weekend where I didn't feel guilty going into the basement to watch football. Mother Nature has been too nice to us. I need her to let loose a little bit. Give me a shitty cloudy Sunday so I don't feel so worthless watching two quad boxes.
- I took Mrs. Screencaps to Steve Martin & Martin Short's show in Detroit Saturday night. Helluva show. Martin Short is simply shot out of a cannon. He is absolutely ruthless with his one-liners at Steve Martin, who is a genius at teeing up his comedy buddy to let the jokes rip. Going in, I wasn't sure if these two just sat on stage talking about their careers. I expected slow parts. Instead, I laughed my ass off for an hour and a half. And we weren't even close to the youngest people in the crowd. I'd like to add that Woodward Ave. outside the Fox Theatre felt like Times Square Saturday night in Detroit. I said it after the NFL Draft experience, downtown Detroit should be on your radar, if you're looking for a sports weekend, or a theater weekend. The streets are packed, cops are everywhere, families are everywhere, 20-somethings everywhere.
- If the Lions don't look like a Super Bowl team, I don't know what a Super Bowl team looks like. The schedule remains a meat-grinder, but Sunday proved that this team is built to win on the road, in shitty weather, in the playoffs playing low-scoring defensive battles and going score for score if things get wild. By the way, good luck to those of you who are about to take a look at Lions Thanksgiving tickets. $380 is the current get-in price on TickPick.
- I'll say it again, you might want to throw some money on the Bills to win the Super Bowl. I said it three weeks ago and now here we are with Buffalo sealing up the AFC East, pending a total collapse, and the Chiefs coming to town in two weeks. It's about time to start thinking about seeding.
- The Bears have the toughest remaining schedule with 7 games against teams that are .500 or better. The Browns have the second-hardest schedule. My Bengals aren't dead yet and the schedule is doable, IF they can somehow stop Derrick Henry. He's now over 1,000 yards and averaging…6.3 yards per carry. I'm going to puke if he gets off to a fast start against the Bengals defense.
- Finally, how about these election idiots. John sent this text just after 1 ET on Sunday. The Bengals and Browns were playing at home. Lose my number, morons.
More weekend observations
- John from SD, who caused the firewood controversy two weeks ago, writes:
Another great weekend of CFB; the Buckeyes held up and proved they are worthy. Same with the U.
Highlight of the weekend was F1 in Brazil, great race in the rain, where Verstappen came back from starting 17th to win the race. A big contrast to the usual poll sitter winning the race. Strategy paid off and Max took advantage. Likely the best racing season in years.
Keep the great work!
- Kevin in Gibsonia, PA says:
I know you're not a big Ryan Day fan, but can you imagine having Jimmie Franklin as your coach? Absolute torture.
Kinsey:
James Franklin's fake tough guy act reminds me of Ryan Day. One of the fake tough guys had to win Saturday.
Heading into Saturday, I wrote that it would take like 5-10 minutes to figure out how invested the Buckeyes would be. The offense and defensive reaction to the Pick 6 was very telling.
By the way, what the hell was the problem at the Cocktail Party?
Someone fill me in on what caused all this.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
How long do you need to live in the South before you can be a Southerner?
- Rob has an opinion on this one:
I moved to Florida from Canada in 1979, I basically have no memories of that country. I consider myself a Florida Man, but not a southerner. I would love to be one, but I just am not.
You’ll know a true southerner when you meet one, you’ll really know a true southern lady when you meet one because you will want to immediately marry her. You can adopt the southern attitude, you can dress the part ( be careful when wearing cowboy boots, you may just look like a poser ) you can drive a truck, but you cannot adopt the accent or the attitude.
Florida’s coastal communities are stocked with transplants from the North ( please stop moving here, really, please stop) the real southerners are in the middle of the state. The Ocala area, Myakka, Pensacola ( we call that area L.A. short for Lower Alabama) and anywhere around Lake Okeechobee.
So my humble opinion, no, you are not a southerner, you weren’t born here, you moved here, a great decision, but you are still a transplant.
- David E. writes on the Screencaps Facebook Group page:
I have a simple answer, as a native Southerner and Floridian. We don't care how you did it or do it up north.. Don't care you were a NYPD cop (Thats a native Floridian Joke from them 70's and 80's) or about your Big10 football teams.. Don't care about your northern NFL teams, go watch your games at home with those teams.. Stay out of our sports bars, tell your alumni groups to book someones house.. I wanna watch Florida College teams on TV not those god awful Big10 teams.. Tell me which Florida College team you would root for if they where playing one of those awful Big10 teams or even SEC teams playing.. If you can't do it you are not a southerner.
- Richard in Louisiana checks in:
I lived my whole life in OR, MA, MI, IL, NY, and CA until five years ago moved to Louisiana. I’ve learned to let women exit the elevator first and to root for LSU, but you can pry phone’s 415 area code out of my cold dead hands.
Would you own a robot dog?
Here's a toy suburban dads will want from Costco in a few years.
Maybe my Wendy's prediction wasn't so bad after all
I was thoroughly ripped about a year ago when I had Wendy's on my list of chains that would be out of business in 10 years. That prediction was a little over-dramatic, but it came from a place in my brain where I perceive a chain in decline.
Yes, I know Wendy's says many of the buildings they're going to close are older and need to be replaced by new stores. Blah, blah, blah.
Wendy's is in decline. I dare you to change my mind.
I can't find the 2023 Screencaps post where I laid out the chains that will disappear in 10 years, but I know Bob Evans was on the list.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
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And that's a wrap for this Monday before the election. Remember, it's not worth losing your job over the election. Lay low. Don't say something stupid on a Zoom call.
Take care. Have a great day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com