'Gayest Olympics Ever' Infuriates Viewers With Opening Ceremony Threesome Video

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I didn't watch a second of the Olympics last night. Not one. It was a Friday night and I had things to do, places to go, and beers to drink. Sorry. 

BUT, it appears I missed a ton whilst wetting my whistle at the downtown bar. 

And by that, I mean not only did the Olympics decide it was a smart idea to have a bunch of drag queens recreate the Last Supper, but they also riled up the internet – and sane people – by running an entire segment about an interracial threesome that ended with the happy throuple slamming the door in our faces before going on to have all the sex. 

Seriously. 

It's amazing what's happened to the Olympics

Goodness gracious. I don't even know where to begin. Am I surprised? No. We live in 2024. I've long said that we'll look back at this era one day and be so, soooooooooo embarrassed. 

Like, our kids are going to lose all respect for us when they read about this time period in their history books. 

And I won't blame them one bit. We all deserve it. I mean, look at that crap. Look, we don't care what you believe, who you like, who you're sleeping with, who you're voting for, etc … We don't. I promise. 

We care when you shove it down our throats (what a pun!). That's when we – and by we, I mean sane people – get annoyed. It's the Olympics. These game have been going on for thousands of years (I assume?). 

You know how many times during those 1,000 opening ceremonies we've had to sit through a threesome video? Or, worse yet, sat through a threesome video … with our kids?

Zero. To be fair, I didn't fact-check that one, but I feel pretty secure in saying it's zero. 

And don't get me started on the drag queen nonsense. I mean, you're just begging the Big Man Upstairs to end the world with that one. You're poking the bear, and I'm quite sure nobody is ready for the consequences of that. 

But, again, we all deserve what we get. Society is so cooked at this point, I'm not sure we can rebound. It's true. Sad, but true. 

Oh well. 

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.