‘Funny’ Road Signs Are About To Be A Thing Of The Past, And Good Riddance

If you're a fan of "funny" digital road signs, you're going to be seriously disappointed to learn that they're about to go the way of the dodo...

Fortunately, no one enjoys them, and those roadside jokes that would make your great-aunt chuckle will not be missed.

Last month, the US Federal Highway Administration released an updated version of its 1,100-page manual. I know you're itching to give that bad boy a read. Do that on your own time. Let's jump ahead and zero in on one of the more notable changes: the ban on goofy signs.

The new guidelines will ban signs with obscure meanings, pop culture references, or are intended to be funny will be outlawed by the year 2026, according to the Associated Press.

Why would they want to outlaw gems like Massachusetts' "Use Yah Blinkah” or Pennsylvania's “Hocus pocus, drive with focus?"

I appreciate a subtle nod to the greatest yodel-heavy classic rock tune. However, signs like that are being considered a distraction.

Which is true. Ironically. The "Hocus pocus, drive with focus" sign is about distracted driving. You know what's distracting? Digital signs with what amount to lame tweets littering America's highways.

A highway sign being used properly: to warn people that they're about to get clobbered by a hurricane. (Getty Images)

Let's Use Signs To Warn Of Potential Danger, Not To Try Out New Material

I don't need the person who is supposed to warn me of potential dangers to be more focused on workshopping their open mic act. Let me know if there's an overturned tractor-trailer blocking traffic down the road.

Trust me, I love jokes. I just don't need them all the time, especially when they're on something that is supposed to keep me safe. Imagine if you were tapped in a flaming house and a firefighter came in to save you. But before he hauled you out of the inferno he starts running through bits about how hard it is dating today that he wants to try down at the local comedy club.

I get this was done in the name of "fun," but I'm happy to see this go.

The funniest part of the whole situation to me was the very on-brand way this ban will be implemented. Notice, it will take two years before this ban is in place.

They have to phase this in. That's weird. Sure, some of these signs that are as funny as your typical bumper sticker are on billboards. Those are a hassle to change. However, most of them are on digital signs.

The selling point of digital signs like the ones they were throwing one-liners on is that they can be changed immediately. I find it hard to believe that the nation's highways couldn't be free and clear of hacky jokes by the weekend.

Oh, well. That's the federal government for you...

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