FSU Icon Jenn Sterger Resurfaces As 'Sexy Velma,' Jon Gruden Wants To Bash Skulls & Trent Dilfer HATES His Job
The liberals let us make it to Friday yet again. We're here. Kamala must be FUMING today.
Sorry, but you did it again. You let us get to another weekend.
First weekend of October, too. The pumpkin patches are open. The leaves are starting to change (not in Florida, but everywhere else, I assume). The football is on. The playoff baseball is on. The beer is flowing. Life is good.
Who has it better than America right now? Nobody. Not a single one. I just couldn't imagine being European. God, it must be awful.
On that patriotic note, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we gear up for Halloween with the OG FSU cowgirl, Jenn Sterger. Jenkies!
What else? I've got Jon Gruden ready to rip someone's head off, Trent Dilfer absolutely HATING his UAB coaching gig, and a group of 49ers fans who are currently bracing themselves for a scorcher on Sunday.
And by that, I mean 90 degrees. We call that fall down here. You'll see.
OK, let's get to it. No big speech to open today's class. We've got shit to do and beer to drink. Let's get this going quickly so it can end as soon as possible. And no, that probably ain't the last time I hear that today!
Grab one of them Camo Busch Light cans and settle in for a First-Friday-of-October 'Cap!
Fine, I'll take the low-hanging fruit: NFL overtime sucks
I know, it's a tired take. I hate doing it. And, perhaps, I'm only doing it because I'm a degenerate gambler and Bijan Robinson screwed me last night.
Serious question: why do the Falcons insist on using Tyler Allgeier 65% of the time when they have Bijan Robinson? I truly don't get it. They drafted this kid in the first round, inexplicably, and he's nothing more than a glorified offensive lineman. They came out in OT last night and just … ran the ball up the gut with Tyler Allgeier. I don't get it.
Yes, I had Bijan in a parlay where he was the last leg, and I needed 25 receiving yards. He finished with 14. It was a disgrace and I despise the Falcons for it. What a bunch of crooks!
Anyway, that's not your problem, it's mine, and I'm working on it (by hammering an ever bigger parlay tonight!). Collectively, though, our problem should be the NFL overtime rule. It stinks. I hate it more than I hate the Falcons.
Can we just stop with the nonsense and give both teams a possession, and then make it next-score-wins? Who in the hell would argue that? The NFL needs to focus less on making kickoffs more dynamic – they're not, they STINK – and more on fixing overtime.
We finally got a good Thursday night game last night, and we were robbed of seeing Baker Baker the Touchdown Maker work some magic in overtime. It's the dumbest thing in all of sports and such an easy thing to fix.
Makes me wanna smash someone's skull in! While we're on the topic …
Best of the rest from a big week of content
Did ya see it? No? Look again, and pay attention this time!
What a scene. What a moment. Perfection. Absolute chefs kiss from the Atlanta faithful. Now, I have no clue why these ladies were throwing hands. It's a mystery, and I actually prefer that it stay that way. It makes this particular fan fight that much better.
No close-up videos of the actual fight. No context. None of it. Just two Atlanta girls beating the hell out of each other seconds after their team just scored a magical victory on Thursday Night Football.
Again, I can't believe the liberals let us get to Friday. What a country.
OK, let's try to top that with the best of the rest from a big week of internet #content:
49ers fans are melting, Trent Dilfer loves UAB & Gruden is BACK!
Hey, Mariah Carey – you can piss alllllllllllll the way off. Not here. Not today. Not ever. Get that crap outta here. It's October. We don't want to hear it. Frankly, I never wanna hear that stupid song, but I certainly don't want it anywhere near my timeline for another month.
PS: it is amazing how that one song has literally made her kids, her kids' kids, and her kids' kids' kids rich for life. Like, the Carey Clan is just gonna ride those three minutes for generations. Insane.
OK, rapid-fire time so we can all go get tanked and watch some relatively mediocre college football games tonight (on Fox, though!). First up? Let's jet on out to San Francisco – yuck – and check in on 49ers fans today:
For those of you who were sleeping this morning while I was working this dawn-shift with Hookstead, this story out of San Fran grabbed me by the nuts and I couldn't get enough of it.
Basically, it's going to be 92 degrees at kickoff for Sunday's Cards-Niners game, and folks are in panic mode over it. That's funny in itself, but then you go to this 49ers fans Reddit account, and things really go off the rails.
A couple gems:
Last weekend it was about 75. I’m in section 214 and the heat and sun was rough. This weekend it’s gonna be 90. Pray for me… I’m sure I’ll have to duck inside every now and then to cool off, but those TVs are tiny. Anyone got tips for a hot game?
Bring in lots of water. Order a sun shirt long sleeve from Amazon to wear under your jersey. Wear a hat! Don’t over drink alcohol night before. Sunscreen!
I've only been twice in late October and Thanksgiving weekend but both times were absolutely boiling even though it was only high 70s...
Freeze some water bottles, feel good to rub on your neck. I will be there too though I will be in the shade hopefully by kickoff.
Bring a hand towel, soak it in sink water, let it evaporate on your neck. Rinse and repeat every quarter.
Don't over-drink alcohol the night before!? What world am I living in here? "It was about 75 … and the heat and sun was rough."
Hilarious. 75 is sweater-weather down here. Hell, I'd prefer it a touch warmer, if we're being honest. I kept waiting for the punchline, but there was none. These people are legit concerned about it being 90 on Sunday for a football game. Kamala's America.
Thoughts and prayers! And stay off the booze Saturday night. That'll help!
Next? Let's check in with Trent Dilfer over at UAB!
I assume most of you haven't been following the UAB-Dilfer era closely, which is obviously fine. And expected. And, frankly, suggested.
But it's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad right now. Like, BAD-BAD. They just got blown to smithereens by Navy, and are now 5-11 under Trent the Event in a little under two years.
PS: I didn't think the ‘Bama comment was bad. I’ve been in pressers with D-1 football coaches where I was legit the only guy in the room asking questions. It's weird. The grandkid would've been a nice ice-breaker.
PPS: ZERO chance Trent knows the history between UAB and Alabama. Zero.
Finally … you know who does? Jon Damn Gruden!
Take us into a big Saturday, Jenn!
I freaking love Jon Gruden. Get his ass back in the league, STAT. Hell, I'd take him in Miami TOMORROW. Seriously. I'm so tired of watching stupid finesse football teams.
I need this Jon Gruden energy on my sidelines. The guy clearly still has his fastball. Enough time has past. Let him back in!
OK, enough of that. Enough of this week. We're off to a big weekend filled with football, pumpkins, and Jenn Sterger as Velma.
Jenkies indeed, from our favorite FSU cowgirl.
See you Monday.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Am I being too harsh on 49ers fans? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.