Florida Man Foiled After Allegedly Dumping Eyedrops All Over His Nephew's Meatball Sandwich

A Florida man is in trouble for the very Florida man crime of dumping eyedrops all over his nephew's meatball sandwich because he hated him that day and thought it would make him "s--t himself and puke his brains out."

According to Fox 35 Orlando, Pinellas Park Police arrested James Leach and charged him with poisoning of food or water after the incident that saw him season a meatball hoagie with some eye lubricating solution.

The incident occurred last Wednesday and began when Leach walked into a local business and requested eyedrops. He said this was because he was battling a case of dry eyes. It wasn't specified what business this was, but I didn't realize that was an option. Sometimes I have an issue with my contact lenses so it's comforting to know that you can just ask for a bottle of drops at some establishments and they'll oblige.

However, Leach allegedly had ulterior motives (or really didn't know how to administer eye drops). That's because he cracked open a container of food and dumped the bottle all over it. That was only after he complained to the employee about having trouble with his nephew and that he "hated him" that day.

The Eyedrops-Contaminated Hoagie Was Detected Before It Could Do Any Real Damage

I'll never understand that part. Why would he explain his plan to a total stranger? This dude allegedly blabbed about his plan to the employee like he was a Bond villain, a bad one hellbent on soiling a sub sandwich in an attempt to make the person eating it "s--t himself and puke his brains out."

It wasn't even a good plan. Just look for the worst-reviewed sub joint in town, order the sub from there and then let nature take its course.

Fortunately, the nephew only ate a little bit of the sandwich. Although, that's still more than most of us would have eaten of one that reeked of Visine. Police say that the nephew refused medical treatment and that he and Leach had a history of domestic-related incidents.

Leach was arrested and taken to Pinellas County jail where he is still being held on $50,000 bond.

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