Emily Mayfield Has Her Playoff Bikini, Skip Bayless Stumped By Trash Can Lid & More Punches Thrown In Dallas
Who had a worse weekend? Me or Skip Bayless? Dolphins or Cowboys fans? I'd include Browns fans in here but I feel like ya'll sort of knew you were living on borrowed time all year, right?
So yeah, it comes down to Miami and Dallas, and I think I'll give the slight edge to the Cowboys. Barely. I'm pretty damn miserable today -- the hangover ain't helping -- but at least I can properly operate a trash can.
Skip Bayless, on the other hand, was going THROUGH it last night. You'll see.
And on that note, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps -- the one where I just try to power through the pain and put on a good show for all the kind folks reading this during pregame of Bills-Steelers.
I plan to do just that while I also watch the game and hope I can regain some of the gambling magic I had for a solid three weeks. I lost it this weekend with a couple just awful beats. Freaking Joe Flacco, Jayden Reed and Kyren Williams. Just unbelievably bad.
We'll talk Skip Bayless being a dummy today. We'll talk some gambling. I'd like to check in with Emily Mayfield down in Tampa before Baker's big game, so we'll do just that. I also think it's probably time to just stop flying.
I know I'm probably the wrong guy to ask because I'm terrified of it to begin with, but did ya'll see who the FAA is trying to hire right now? It's insane. True insanity.
I reckon we'll also celebrate MLK Day today by revisiting one of my favorite all-time college football moments, courtesy of FSU. If you know, you know. Can't wait.
OK, let's get to it so I can continue losing money. No time to waste!
Skip Bayless vs. the auto trash can lid was the best thing I watched yesterday
So, yesterday sucked in the gambling department. Wasn't a complete wash for me, but it wasn't my best showing. Frankly, the whole weekend sucked.
I needed one more freaking Joe Flacco TD on Saturday to hit a pretty massive parlay, and he instead threw two to the other team. That was cool. Thanks, Anthony.
Yesterday, I needed Jayden Reed to eclipse 48.5 receiving yards. He had zero catches, so he came up woefully short. Last night, I had a Gibbs-Kyren Williams ATD parlay working and Williams never stiffed the end zone. Again, pretty cool.
So yeah, the hot streak is officially over. That's the bad news. The good news? We ride again today!
I don't think the weather plays too much of a role this afternoon. Snow should be gone, it won't be bitterly cold and the wind seems pretty normal.
Feel like getting James Cook at +135 ATD is a good deal. I may even sprinkle him at +700 for 2+ scores. Aaron Jones did it yesterday. Kareem Hunt did it Saturday. Feel like that's a theme this weekend for running backs.
Also don't hate Jaylen Warren O 3.5 total catches. Warren's won me a lot of money this year. We'll see.
Speaking of gambling, what would the spread be on a future Skip Bayless vs. trash can fight? Trash can -15000!
Emily Mayfield is ready for some Tampa Bay Bucs playoff football
Goodness. What a battle. I'm with Skip here, though, because I empathize with him big time. The First Lady's grandparents have that exact trash can at their house and I have cold sweats whenever I have to use it. It's a complete crapshoot. You never know when it's gonna open, when it's gonna shut, or if it's going to work at all.
Poor Skip. How bad were the Cowboys yesterday? Truly awful. I told you all year the Cowboys were the Dolphins and the Dolphins were the Cowboys. Both played their role perfectly this weekend.
Speaking of that ... Ryan from OK checked in on Amber and I after the Chiefs murdered the Fish Saturday night, which I appreciate. I also sort of felt like the little kid who strikes out in little league with the game on the line and needed a pick-me-up from dad, but whatever. Nice is nice:
I definitely understand both of you hating even the thought of football after that disgusting wild card game. I can relate. I was in Afghanistan when the chiefs went 2-14 and Jordan belcher killed his gf and himself in the arrowhead parking lot. Not that it makes a tough loss better, but you at least have a solid team with a future. #perspective.
I really enjoy both of your articles, and I hope the dolphins crush the afc east for years to come and it’s a chiefs/ravens/dolphins conference. So done with the pats and the bills.
Did NOT see that twist coming from Ryan, but again, I do appreciate the email. Dolphins stink. Amber and I should've known better, but we're also gullible idiots like everyone else in South Beach.
And hey! We have this for at least the next year. #perspective.
What a week for air travel!
We haven't even talked about Bucs-Eagles tonight, so thank you for reminding us, Emily! Happy sailing!
This one feels like a grinder. The Eagles stink, but they could and probably will win something like 20-13 or 17-14. Or Baker Baker the TD Maker could go OFF and continue his rightful march to Las Vegas. Either-or.
Chris Godwin O 4.5 catches seems like a juicy little number, too. He's gone over that in four of his last five. Just saying.
Moving on ...
Ya'll on board yet with my whole flying sucks thing yet? I mean, you can't possibly still plan to fly this year after the Alaska door blowout last week and this little nugget from the FAA from over the weekend:
Nope. It's not shtick. Ain't satire. That right there is a 100% real sentence. From FOX:
The initiative is part of the FAA’s “Diversity and Inclusion” hiring plan, which claims “diversity is integral to achieving FAA’s mission of ensuring safe and efficient travel across our nation and beyond.”
On the FAA’s website, the agency claims that people with “severe” mental and physical disabilities are the most under-represented segment of the federal workforce.
“Because diversity is so critical, FAA actively supports and engages in a variety of associations, programs, coalitions and initiatives to support and accommodate employees from diverse communities and backgrounds. Our people are our strength, and we take great care in investing in and valuing them as such,” the FAA states.
I will stick with Amtrak, thank you very much! I'd prefer my captains and conductors to be sane and not mentally unstable. Call me old school, I guess.
You wanna know someone who the FAA thinks should be flying your plane? This guy:
MLK, FSU & what a fight in Dallas
Spoiler alert, if you need it: he was later sucked into the engines and chopped into fish bait. The end. How about this little two-liner from FOX 13, too:
The video cuts out before he reaches the aircraft.
The cause of his death has not yet been released.
Yeah, we'll probably have to wait for the autopsy report to really feel good about what happened. You never know -- he could always be ruled a COVID death.
Rapid-fire time!
First up? Happy five-year anniversary to one of the greatest tweets in the history of Twitter:
Hilarious. People were PISSED about that, and the tweet was eventually deleted. Nothing fires me up more than fake outrage. Funny is funny, and that's funny.
Chop on!
Next? Let's head back to Dallas, where we had an all-out war break out in the stands as the Cowboys were getting their teeth knocked in:
Insert the they're showing more fight in the stands than on the field joke here if you'd like. Up to you. I'll pass.
How about the nuts on white Trevon Diggs, too? Just leans in and slaps the girl right in front of her man. Wild move. Bold choice. Frankly, the guy handled it better than I would've.
That guy is also PEAK Green Bay dude. It's exactly what I imagine the entire town looks like. Go Pack Go!
Finally, what a week it's been for weather!
A completely OK Michael Irvin gets us ready for another day of football
Hilarious. I know that video is from 10 days ago, but whatever. You know the rule: if it's new to me, it's new to everyone.
Would be fun to just sit there all day with a cooler of beer and watch all that chaos unfold. What carnage.
OK, that's enough for today. I've got a gambling streak to turn around starting here in about 20 minutes. Let's get rich (or at least break even!).
Take us home, sane Mike!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Is Skip Bayless an idiot or a genius? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.