Elizabeth Hurley Rings In The New Year, America's New Hottest Pole Vaulter & Herbstreit's Dog Celebrates At Rose Bowl
Millennial Jeff in Minnesota is back to take his victory lap after Michigan's win
To refresh your memory, Jeff said Michigan would "easily" beat Alabama.
• This morning, Millennial Jeff in Minnesota writes:
Joe and the screencaps community:
How do you like me now?!
Michigan won. I was "crazy" for predicting that they would win easily. It was closer than I predicted. That being said, Mich overcame big mistakes. They were more physical and faster. Clearly, they were the better team. There were even suspect calls that benefitted Bama, just like I predicted.
Big Ten, SEC, and Big 12 are all 5-4 in bowl games. Pac 12 is 5-3. Winner of the national championship will win the bowl challenge cup for its respective conference. Future Big Ten teams were 4-0 in bowls. Future SEC schools were 0-2 in bowls.
FCS national title is between SDSU Jack (ass) rabbits and U of Montana. D2 national championship was won by a small school in Arkansas (only southern representative). D3 was won by Cortland out of New York. No southern or SEC schools in the FBS national championship!
Kinsey:
You know what, I have to credit Jeff here for admitting his "easily" take was off, but he got the first part of the prediction right. The "easily" part is why he was jumped by fellow readers.
Jeff, were you sweating when that punt returner decided to field the ball at the Michigan 4-yard line? I was and I was rooting for Michigan lose in dramatic fashion.
Crisis averted for Jeff and the punt returner.
It's becoming clearer by the day that it's just the state of Michigan's year. The Lions ARE BACK. Michigan is four quarters from a national championship. I didn't see a single construction barrel from the Michigan state line to Exit 69 on I-75 and someone hit that Powerball last night outside Flint.
Now that's a year.
• David in Illinois writes:
I’m going to keep this short: there will be zero SEC teams playing in the national championship game next Monday. There will be zero current SEC teams and zero future SEC teams. Zero. What a beautiful number for those of us who know how sick it will make the ESPN honks over the next seven days that they won’t be talking about and writing about a current SEC and future SEC team playing for a ring.
Can’t think of a better way to start the (sports) year!
Kinsey:
Wait until you see how much ESPN promotes JJ McCarthy over the next week. If you think the report on his shoeless meditation before the Rose Bowl was something, wait until you see how deep the Disney network goes with this Disney-esque quarterback. You ain't seen anything yet.
If ESPN doesn't have one of its own in the national title game, they're going to pivot into turning this QB into a member of the Mickey Mouse Club. You're going to get a sappy story that involves McCarthy's family. Someone escaping death, JJ overcoming "adversity" and possibly some sort of tear-jerker about the relationship between Harbaugh and McCarthy.
Buckle up.
Washington fans: You're about to find out what it's like for ESPN to act like you're not in the national championship game. ESPN is going to turn into a JJ McCarthy hose-hound.
Remember, it's ESPN's business strategy.
• Warren S. in Mesa, AZ has a theory on the state of college football and how to fix things:
I’ve been fuming over the abandonmend of the the FSU team by players going into the portal or opting out for the NFL. I have a few thoughts:
It's all about the money! Here's how you fix the opting out issue:
1. The portal doesn't open until 1 week after the championship game.
2. Except for injury, scholarship players either play in bowl/playoff games or must repay their total scholarship.
3. NIL players only get 25% of contract money during the season through any bowl/championship game. If they opt out of the bowl, the remaining money is forfeited.
These players have scholarships and are receiving NIL money to play football. That means EVERY game!
These prima donnas are nothing if the other players don't do their jobs on both sides of the ball. Players filling in for injured players are just as important as the starters. Many of these players won't make it to the NFL These bowl games are their Super Bowl, playoff game or not!
This is a team! Opting out shows how selfish some of these players are. What will their new teammates think of them if they left their old teammates to be embarrassed in a bowl game? Do they have their team's back or just looking to fill their wallets?
Using college football to showcase their talents is great for them, but they can't do it by themselves. If some of the players that opted out for the NFL do make it, they have no right to say, "Florida State" when going through the introductions. I wonder if their high school would be proud of them for leaving their college teammates in a lurch!
Coaches like to refer to their players as, "warriors"! As a 100% disabled veteran with 22 years of service, I can tell you that no "warrior" would abandon their brothers in battle. Yet, that's exactly what these players did.
Kinsey:
Great final point from Warren on the terminology used during these games and in interviews.
Mrs. Screencaps wondered what was up with how many times she heard "adversity" used on Monday.
2024: The Year of the Shorty Cart -- Are you joining the movement?
On New Year's Day, I wrote about my weekend experience with the shorty cart at a local grocery store independently owned by 30-year Marine veteran Walt Churchill and now I'm starting to feel like we could have a movement in 2024 where readers commit to returning their shorty carts to inside the grocery stores so there's a stash for the old timers who like the shorty carts because they're easy to control in crowded stores.
• Anonymous Lions Fan in Tennessee writes:
You hit me right in the feels with the shorty carts at the store. I heard (allegedly) Walmart doesn't have shorty carts at most locations because they want you to walk around the whole store and put as much stuff in that you can and that the pharmacy department is supposed to wait at least 15 min to fill your script to give you time to walk around and buy other stuff.
Are these urban legends or real policies? I am a devout shorty cart user and even a basket user. At my local grocery store I will park next to a cart return that has a shorty cart in it knowing there is a limited supply and walk it in. Also, I wish Aldi would invest in the shorty carts but that is highly unlikely.
Kinsey:
I don't know the analytics and philosophy of the grocery cart evolution, but this sounds about right, Anonymous.
Guys, let's make it a focal point to return our shorty carts to INSIDE THE GROCERY STORE. Don't leave it in the parking lot corrals. Join me in this movement. I'm telling you, it will be rewarding.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
• Chris B. in Florida writes:
Happy New Year, Joe — When handing the shorty cart over to another guy, don’t forget to say “I gassed it up for you.” Works every time.
Kinsey:
GREAT dad joke reminder. I'm putting that one in the back of my brain for later.
I don't want to hear it
There was even a summit last night before Screencaps Jr. and Screencaps the III went to bed that went something like this:
Mom and I are back to work tomorrow and that means if you decide to start arguing about nonsense, you need to find a new zip code to live in.
I don't want to hear it! Love you, boys, but the calendar has changed and it's a long run to the next day off.
Let's see how the day goes.
First-time emailer alert! 'The time I ran into Cheech in a Vegas restroom'
• Rick writes:
Joe, long time OK reader but first time I thought I have something to contribute.
Screen Caps is my first read every morning, you do a great job. Retired from the food service industry, Chef, fishmonger and steak salesman over 40 years so I've seen the gambit when it comes to food service. Retired 2 years ago for renal failure but received a new kidney on April 10 of last year, I've been blessed in 2023. I'm one of those 60+ old guys you talk about still trying to do hard things. So here's the reason for my email:
Back in 88 or 89 (can't remember exactly which) my wife and I were in Vegas having dinner at the old Hilton Hotel that Elvis made famous off the strip. Had to use the rest room after we were sat at their Italian steak house.
Walked into the bathroom and at one of the urinals' was a guy dressed head to toe in brown mustard yellow suit. Yellow shoes, shirt, tie, the whole deal. I go to a urinal and look over and its Cheech of Cheech and Chong fame.
I wait till were washing hands and strike up a conversation, he's there for a video/ media convention going on at the attached convention center. We walk out the door and passing in front of us is about 20 Playboy Playmates heading to the convention. They all start cooing and calling to Cheech as they walk by, I look at him and said " man it's good to be alive".
He smiles and says yes it is. He could not have been nicer and even offered to me to come along to the convention. I told him I couldn't and headed back to my wife as he joins the playmates. So there's my story, if you ever have any questions about meat grades, cuts, marbling scores or anything else pertaining to cattle/ hog markets please contact me.
Great American Vern in Washington checks in
I love it when 85-year-old Vern emails. I know he has so much wisdom to share. I just have to fish it out of him.
• Vern writes:
I was searching for photos to put on my wife's Skylight when I came across this. A couple weeks ago you had pics sent from Portland showing Mt St Helens and Mt-Hood. This is what locals call "The Mountain"-visitors call it Mt Rainier! Throw in a sunrise and you have a double dip! Keep up the good work and Happy New Year.
Pebble Beach, gratitude and staying in the moment in 2024
• John from Coronado writes:
Happy New Year from Pebble Beach! We’re only here because of the generosity of our best friend, who has a home here that we get to stay at once or twice a year.
Been thinking a lot about gratitude and joy lately. As I mature into my retirement in of last February, I want to REALLY work on always exhibiting an attitude of gratitude. And then add on to that, CIRCUMSTANCES don’t determine my joy. My joy comes from my Christian faith.
Now, look, I absolutely know I am ENORMOUSLY blessed, and some could say it’s easy for me to say these things. But I also know that the human condition is to want more, regardless of how much you have. So I’m gonna fight that tendency.
As ‘24 starts, I want to thank you again for this Community. I know SO many folks out there are feeling camaraderie and fellowship every day when they open their browser and catch up on ScreenCaps. And if they are as entertained as much as I am, then you’re still doing a fantastic job.
The Power of Screencaps heading into 2024
I'm going to save an email for tomorrow that you don't want to miss. It will involve a family in Georgia, an appointment to West Point and how one Screencaps reader played a part in helping change the life trajectory of a high school senior.
Guys, I'm telling you right now, if there's a reader you'd like to connect with, please ask. This column is bringing together people like I never imagined.
We're just getting started.
(I know you're tired. I know America is tired and it's going to be a quiet day at offices across this country.)
Do your best to get back into the flow.
Remember, it's 2024. Let's get after it.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com