Elizabeth Hurley Reminds Us She Still Has The Fastball, Duke Puker & Bob Kraft's Dumb Shoe Trend Rolls On
Yes, I know that Nightcaps is taking shots at me over Al Sharpton invading Costco and making claims that Sam's Club is superior
Those of you who read Monday Nightcaps know that Zach Dean is Team Sam's Club and even claims that Sam's Club has a superior hot dog. Zach says that Sam's Club is no longer pro-DEI and that makes them superior.
Zach was pro-Sam's Club when these two rainbow warriors were showing their pride for DEI Sam's Club just a few short years ago. Zach still shopped there.
I didn't say anything as Zach was sucking down his superior meat missiles and buying diapers at woke Sam's Club. There were no direct attacks.
Six months ago, Sam's Club was WOKE. Very WOKE.
Even Robby Starbuck, Mr. DEI Sheriff, knows that this one isn't as easy as some of his other conquests. "They [Costco] are not the worst of the worst, so they weren’t my focus," Starbuck told the Wall Street Journal of his attempt to move Costco off its DEI stance.
The WSJ further reports, "In 2024, 72% of top Costco managers were men and 81% were white, according to company data."
Now, if suddenly Costco is selling Al Sharpton dolls in the toy section, I might need to reassess our family membership.
— Imo writes:
I would have sent this to Zach but can't find his email. While I'm a Sam's Club guy people should remember Sam's Club is owned by The Waltons AKA Walmart who are still pushing DEI.
Chiefs fan takes a shot at Lions fans
— Greg writes:
This is not directed towards you but rather to many Screencaps readers and all Chief haters. As a life long Chiefs fan who was born and raised in KC, I have to give a massive in your face to Bills Mafia, Bungals fans, and Lions fans.
Chiefs have won 4 Super Bowls while Bills, Bengals, and Lions combined have won ZERO. I got really tired of hearing how great these teams were during the regular season while the Chiefs were bad mouthed but as everyone can see the real cream of the crop always rises in the postseason.
Kinsey:
Greg, people were excited by the Lions because they are really tired with the Chiefs.
Give me one new storyline about the Chiefs that I should be excited about heading into the Super Bowl.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
— Chris A. writes:
Gotta call it like I see it as a lifelong Chiefs fan...and I am 58! Believe me, I can empathize with you and many of those in SC Nation who have Chiefs fatigue. I watched bad football in the 70's and 80's and then when the Chiefs got better in the 90's we could never get over the hump of the likes of John Elway and Jim Kelly.
And then Andy Reid comes along in 2013 and Makes Arrowhead Great Again! But, couldn't get past the Brady led Pats....sure we could beat these teams in the regular season but come playoff time there was a missed FG or costly turnover....or even a questionable call by the zebras that ended our postseason dreams. However, in most cases the Broncos or Bills etc. were just better than the Chiefs. Better coached, better prepared...better when it mattered most!
I know your readers lean strongly to the right....as I do. That's why I am surprised to see what I call football's version of Trump Derangement Syndrome or in this case Chiefs Derangement Syndrome. Anyone but Trump (Chiefs)....Trump (Chiefs) must lose at all costs. Blaming someone else or something nefarious for his (their) success....acting like a victim if they succeed.
For Bills, Bengals, Ravens fans...I feel your pain because I have been there. This may be easy for me to say given the current state of things, but I would kindly suggest to those fans to focus their frustrations on their teams. Demand they do better, acknowledge their flaws and demand accountability and responsibility from team leadership. A Conservative attitude and approach which I feel is what defines the readers of SC Nation.
— Keith K. writes:
This super bowl is worst case scenario. As I've mentioned before being a lifelong Cowboys fan ( what a major f up Jones has done with my team) I find it unacceptable to root for either of the NFC Championship teams. With one caveat, my father passed away in Nov. Of '17, since he was a lifelong Eglses fan I had to root for them. It was awful he never got to witness them win, on the baseball side the dodgers lost both world series that fall and the next. Again hard to root for them but I did. Obviously now they've just turned baseball into a joke. Anyhow I'm getting off subject.
As I'm sure I've also mentioned before we have not had any kind of television, other than dvd's since '15. Now tubi was letting anyone watch the super bowl for free, so of course I signed up as soon as I saw that. At this point going to bed early sounds like a better option. I don't follow sports nearly like I used to, every game every season (not so much hockey but watched plenty of that also). I do still participate in fantasy sports and keep up with who's playing well and winning. I was looking forward to watching a quarter or half before bed, but I have damn near 0% desire to watch the chiefs win another super bowl, nor watch the other team win.
As for Brandon and his BroomBall league, all I could think was when he mentioned it was coed, did he have the luck of playing with a goalie who looked like or was even built like Mikayla Demaiter? I'm guessing not, the thought just popped into my head.
Analyzing CBS & the AFC Championship
— Brad M. tells me:
As wives say, I just have to vent.
Bitching about sports broadcasts and broadcasters goes back to Howard Cosell at least but Sunday’s game deserves a rant or three.
- Network NFL themes suck. They are pretentious tryhards – a fantastic term used often in Australia. Not every piece of music can be the Star Wars Main Title. PS ESPN’s college football theme sucks too.
- Did Jim Nantz and Tony Romo shake hands and agree to swap on-air personas? Nantz is 65, has 40 years in the biz and is suddenly screaming through games like a tweener at a Taylor Swift gig while Romo is now the one who chuckles and tries to calm his partner down.
- Media, including social media, are afraid to speak ill of advertising but the ratings declines for NBA, CFB and now NFL reflect a viewing public fed up with the frequent and long breaks. The Super Bowl used to stand alone with its ridiculous 3.5 min breaks but they somehow became the norm. ‘The games are too long’ – you hear it constantly now. Leagues take note.
- Teams don’t seem to mind the long breaks during the regular season but the Bills and Chiefs players and coaches were pacing like caged animals wanting to actually play an important football game and who can blame them? Measurement? Commercial. Injury? Commercial. Officials’ huddle? Commercial. It ruined what could and should have been one of the NFL’s museum pieces.
- Broadcasters & advertisers know they are competing with ‘second screens’ (phones & tablets) during breaks in games. The CBS strategy to combat it is to flash its logo up, down and across the screen so often it would induce epilepsy in a blind man.
- The only thing worse than CBS promos might be the actual CBS shows. Do we need or want another courtroom/cop/doctor drama with the lead actor smirking at the camera? Why are they all digitally filmed and filtered with that strange color palette?
- Pregame/halftime/postgame interviews might have had some value when the public only heard from coaches and players during games. Now there are pressers, podcasts, social media every day, all day. The NFL even has its own network. Interviews reveal nothing and are networks’ little power play to inject themselves into the event. ‘What’s your message to your team?’ may be the worst of all the cliches. He already told them in the locker room, sugarbumps. Obviously. Now go away.
Kinsey:
To be fair, Brad, CBS didn't go to commercial due to a chain gang measurement. They sent it to commercial as some suits in a New York office building analyzed the video.
#NeverForget the chain gang as they disappear into oblivion.
A Screencaps reader who was a multi-day Jeopardy winner answers some questions
If you're TNML, don't skip over what you're about to learn about Alex Trebek from a guy who was on Jeopardy long enough to pick up on Trebek's true loves away from work.
— Brendan G. writes:
- Which category threw you off and why?
There was an entire category about tea. I don’t personally have anything against tea (that incident involving tax policy, Boston Harbor, and tea aside), but most of my interaction with tea was with the Long Island variety during college, and I don’t have particularly fond memories. I’m more of a domestic macrobrew, coffee, and regional American soda kind of guy. Anyway, I remember thinking to myself that it was a bizarrely specific, esoteric topic and hoping: 1) that the other contestant weren’t tea-sippers, and 2) that there was a question about the proper ratio for an Arnold Palmer (3 parts tea to 1 part lemonade) or which southern fast food chain serves the best sweet tea (Bojangles). Neither was the case, and the female contestant on that show apparently liked her afternoon tea cause she dominated the category.
The categories I hate the most though are the "wordplay" categories like "rhyme time" and "before and after". I’m decent in the categories and can hold my own, but those questions just tie my brain in knots for some reason and destroy my rhythm. There were times on the show where I was in a groove–the categories are in your wheelhouse, the answers are just appearing in your mind, and your buzzer rhythm is on point. It felt like when you’re locked in at the batting cage–making good contact on every pitch and just spraying ropes with smooth, effortless swings like Will Clark. Then somebody steals a question and goes to a "wordplay" category, and you feel like Vlad Guerrero chasing the low and outside slop–you may tag one, but the rhythm is gone.
- Was there a category that came up that you knew you'd run through? What was it?
There was a baseball category. I murdered it like I was Barry Bonds circa 2001 and a pitcher came inside with a fastball. I even got a question about my favorite team (the Giants–can you tell?). I knew I could dominate the category, and the female contestant on that show wasn’t the type of gal who’d have anything more than a cursory knowledge of baseball. The other contestant was a dude though, and (IMO) it’s really hard to tell with male contestants if their nerd proclivities (all Jeopardy contestants are nerds) include sports. Turned out the other dude wasn’t a "sportsguy", and I cleaned up in the category.
The sneaky category I knew I would dominate though involved US State flowers. I don’t know why, but I’ve just always had a weird love of all things US States–mottos, nicknames, flags, etc. (BTW Joe, your state has the worst flag in the nation, and it’s not debatable. Ohio should take this moment while other States are changing their flags and get a flag that doesn’t suck). A college buddy called me the night that show aired to laugh about that category.
He’s watching the game that night with his fiancee. I’ve known the buddy for 10+ years since I was 18 and we were in the same dorm freshman year. I’d met his fiancee once or twice. My buddy’s fiancee turns to him, dismayed, as Alex is revealing the categories for the round, "A category about flowers! How unlucky for Brendan. That’s right up the female contestant’s alley." My buddy laughs and tells his fiancee that he can’t wait until the female contestant jumps to the flower category to put the male contestants on their heels. I ran the category and got my little round of applause at the end.
- Did Alex send you home with any souvenirs? Autographed Jeopardy video game? Signed 8X10?
The dynamic with Alex on the show was strange. Since the quiz show scandals in the 50s and the subsequent laws making fixed television game shows illegal, there are all sorts of rules governing the show to maintain its integrity. The contestants had no interaction with Alex except during the taping of the show.
The first time you saw him in person was when he walked onto the stage for the first taping. He took a picture with every contestant during the first commercial break and you got to converse a little bit. There’s the semi-scripted "get to know you" segment after the first commercial break, and the stunningly uncomfortable 2 minutes where all the contestants stand at the center of the stage immediately after the game has concluded while the credits roll on television and Alex gaily chit chats with one person who’s on top of the world and two people processing the disappointment of the last 30 minutes.
The production manager gave the "all clear" and Alex politely excused himself and retired to his dressing room. Not to be seen again by the contestants until he walks out on the stage to tape the next episode.
Alex was very nice, (obviously) polished, and clearly intelligent with a dry wit. Over the course of the 3 episodes I was on the show, he teased me about how clearly uncomfortable I was having to smile all the time at the behest of the production assistants.
I learned his favorite movie (How Green Was My Valley), and I learned that he was a homebody who spent virtually all his time off fixing things around his house and maintaining his yard (he had spent the week prior to my shows mulching the yard and building a rock wall). I’m pretty sure Alex would have been a fan of the Thursday Night Mowing League.
Every contestant received a Jeopardy tote/book bag filled with swag. The only individual pieces of swag I can remember were a pen shaped like the Jeopardy buzzer and a Jeopardy water bottle. All the swag has long since been lost/destroyed by my kids. 90 days after the shows aired, I got a signed check in the mail from the studio with my winnings (the best souvenir) and an e-mail containing the photo of me and Alex.
- How do the taxes work?
I won about $47,000 over the 3 episodes I was on the show. It’s all considered 1099-MISC income, so the winnings are added to your gross income for federal taxes and the winnings are considered taxable income by the state of California (so I gained a tiny taste for the complexity of pro athlete tax returns with the various "jock taxes" that states impose on athletes when they play away games in different states).
The check was for the full amount (I think I remember that there was an option to have taxes withheld on the check, but I’m personally opposed to tax refunds which are, in effect, interest free loans to our government) and the 1099-MISC form was in the envelope with the check.
My wife and I had decided (after I won on the first show) to donate half of whatever we won to charity, so after taxes (30% between federal and California State taxes which we paid off the top) and charitable donations from the remaining ~$30,000, we were left with a final take of ~$15,000.
To this day it’s the only state tax return I’ve ever filed (God Bless Texas). We used the money to buy a piece of furniture my wife wanted and pay down the principal on our mortgage (because I’m a super boring square who listens to recordings of Berkshire Hathaway Annual Meetings on the way to work and reads a daily general interest column for salt of the earth Americans written by a guy in northwest Ohio).
Why is Jerry Jones the way he is?
— Chris Y. asks:
A moment regarding Jerry Jones' recent Landman cameo alongside John Hamm and Billy Bob Thornton. It was a touching scene and in some respects, profound. He played himself, but who knew Jerry was such an actor? Some say he was not acting. He was simply recounting his life and business philosophy prioritizing family. It was heartfelt and introspective.
I just have one question. Does it have to be The Dallas Cowboys? Can Jerry live his best life and not ruin an iconic American Brand? Can he not accomplish all his familial goals owning a plumbing supply company or a chain of really successful Outback Steakhouse restaurants?
Can't you just see The Jones Boys tending bar and yucking it up with barflies while serving steaks and Bloomin’ Onions. They’d be pigs in mud.
While we’re here, Poll Time
Your favorite teams owner says one of the following:
a) I love my family and will do whatever I have to do to ensure their happiness or
b) I would sacrifice a member of my family for back-to-back Super Bowl Championships.
Which are you picking? You have to go Keyser Soze here, right? It’s the only move.
Kinsey:
I actually respect Jerry more for treating his investment like a toy. He wants to be GM just like every Twitter nerd, but Jer gets to play it out in real life. Then, after the games, he holds press conferences like he just coached the team to another loss.
It's beautiful.
Guys, SOCIETY NEEDS CHARACTERS. IT MAKES THINGS MORE INTERESTING. WE NEED OWNERS LIKE JERRY JONES.
Speaking of NFL owners, Robert Kraft is to blame for this
Are you pro-sneakers on TV sets or anti?
Collioure, France looks like portions of rundown NE Pennsylvania
Is that Wilkes-Barre, PA or France? It's like I'm looking across the river from Kingston, PA to the east side of the Susquehanna.
— Mike T. and Cindy T. have invaded France:
Like many beach/ resort towns in Europe Collioure basically shuts down in January and February. 70% of all hotels and restaurants and businesses close until March. So, no eating out here. Did find an open bakery!
http://traftonseuropeantour20242025.com/2025/01/27/1-28-2025-collioure-france/
— Mike T. adds:
Vacuuming the park in Collioure, France.
################
That's it this morning from northern Ohio where the temps are rising and the yard is thawing out. We're heading to the mid-40s by Sunday. Based on the weather I'm seeing, we have about three weeks of true winter left. That's nothing. We made it.
Now, let's go get after it. I have a post coming on loser Pat Mahomes Sr. Stay tuned.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com