Dumb Outfits At The Met Gala, Cooking With Semen, Dumpster Diving Bears & Mexican Beers

May, already?!

I know every single person says this about every single year, but 2023 has really flown by. It feels like just yesterday I was writing Nightcaps and getting pumped up about St. Patrick's Day.

And now, here we are preparing ourselves for our other favorite drinking and cultural appropriation holiday — Cinco de Mayo.

I am SO ready to drink a pitcher or two of margaritas and eat my weight in tacos.

But I have a dilemma on my hands. See, the Kentucky Derby is Saturday. And while most of you will be nursing your tequila hangover on the couch during the Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports, I have to go to a wedding.

Don't get me wrong: I love weddings. And I'm very excited for my friends who are getting married. But the theme of this wedding is, of course, "Kentucky Derby."

And while I would normally ruthlessly mock the people in flowery dresses and stupid hats, this weekend I have to become one of those people.

Personally, I'm not really a fan of horse racing. You can call me PETA if you want, but I think it's cruel. The only horse race I've ever been to was the 2021 Iroquois Steeplechase in Nashville. One of the horses fell down, and they euthanized him.

No amount of mint juleps drowns that sort of trauma.

But I am a good sport, and it's not about me. So I have ordered a boatload of stupid hats and fascinators on Amazon, and I'm ready to look like a jackass.

And speaking of jackasses...

Here are some of the dumbest outfits from the Met Gala.

I'm still not entirely clear on the point of the Met Gala. But as far as I can tell, it's where attention-starved celebrities meet up with other attention-starved celebrities to talk about how rich they are.

And I think it's supposed to be some big night in fashion. But really it's just a contest to see who can look the silliest.

And the pop culture media who fawn over these people make it even better. All I saw today were headlines like, "Rihanna looked STUNNING at the Met Gala as she showed off her baby bump."

Meanwhile, here's Rihanna looking like the bride of Mr. Potato Head.

(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

And what is A$AP Rocky doing? It's truly business on top, and Ed Hardy meets Braveheart on bottom.

Anyway, let's keep flipping through these photos, shall we?

Here's Yung Miami (I truly have no idea who she is) and Sean Combs / Puff Daddy / P. Diddy in their casual Monday attire.

The headline I read said their outfits "gave volume in contrasting shapes," and I just can't imagine having to be the person who writes this stuff.

(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

Olivia Rodrigo's dress was "bursting with textures."

I see cake icing flowers and silly string.

(Photo by Taylor Hill/Getty Images)

Glenn Close legitimately pulled the comforter off her bed.

(Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)

And here's a very fancy lampshade.

(Photo by Taylor Hill/Getty Images)

And then there was the ultimate attention-craved celebrity — Lil Nas X. And honestly... I just don't know how to describe what's happening here.

What's with all the cats?

Apparently, the theme of this year's Met Gala (aside from narcissism) was "Karl Lagerfield: a Line of Beauty."

Lagerfield was some German fashion designer who died in 2019. But he had a cat named Choupette, and he was madly in love with it. He even said he'd marry his cat if it were legal.

So if you saw this absolutely bizarre video of rapper Doja Cat from last night's Met Gala and wondered what on God's green earth was happening, there's your explanation:

Which brings us to our best outfit of the night and — frankly — the only one I find acceptable. Thank you for this gem, Jared Leto.

(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

So you might be sitting there thinking, Amber you're just jealous. You wish you had millions of dollars to parade around and rub in people's faces.

And let me tell you, you are absolutely correct.

But if anyone wants to spend $50,000 to buy me a ticket to next year's Met Gala, let me know. I've already got my outfits narrowed down.

Michelin Star Chef Adds Semen to the Menu

Yeah, you read that right.

But luckily, it's not human semen.

A Spanish Michelin star chef named Dabiz Muñoz has begun incorporating fish semen into his dishes.

The Japanese call it "shirako" (because "fish ejaculate" doesn't sound very appetizing), and it's considered a delicacy.

Chef Muñoz posted this picture to his Instagram asking for feedback.

It kind of looks like a toasted marshmallow.

Those who tried it have described it as "strange," "smooth and creamy" and having "the taste of the sea."

"It’s warm from the grill and a mouthful. It was difficult for me, but it had a very memorable texture," one fan commented.

LOL.

So at first I thought this was super weird and gross. But then I remembered people eat caviar, so what's really the difference? If you're gonna eat fish eggs, you might as well eat the sperm, too.

And in 2022, Muñoz was crowned the best chef in the world at the "Best Chef Awards" in Madrid for the second year in a row. So maybe he's on to something.

I'm going to pass, though.

But this, of course, wouldn't be a Tuesday Nightcaps without a South Park clip. And this one fits perfectly.

Surprise! It's a bear.

A West Virginia school principal got the shock of a lifetime when he came face-to-face with a dumpster diving bear.

Little buddy was just searching for a snack when James Marsh rudely interrupted him.

And for our entertainment, the whole thing was caught on CCTV.

The principal took off running while the bear bolted off in the opposite direction.

"We want that guy to go find his meals someplace else," Marsh said.

But if the meals are anything like what they had at my elementary school, the bear is better off.

Speaking of bears, here's another video I like.

From what I understand, pandas are kind of mean and you shouldn't hug them.

I'd probably take my chances, though.

What is the best Mexican beer?

Did you know Mexico exports more beer than any other country in the world? And it's not even close.

In 2021, Mexico exported $5.49 billion worth of beer. In second place was the Netherlands with $2.11 billion.

Loco, right?

But like fish semen in Japan, Mexican beers are a delicacy for me.

On your average day, Miller Lite is my go-to beer, and I'll reach for a tasty craft IPA when I'm at the bar.

But for a special fiesta or when I'm lounging at the beach, there's nothing like an ice cold cerveza with a lime.

So — in anticipation of Cinco de Mayo — let's take a vote on the best Mexican beer.

Find me on Twitter to vote for one of the above options. Or get in my comments and yell at me for not including Tecate.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to go shopping for a Derby outfit. Stay tuned for next Tuesday's Nightcaps for an opportunity to make fun of me.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.