Drunk Florida Housewives Can't Stop Wrecking Golf Carts, Getting DUIs & Causing Fires

The Villages is LIT, as the Millennials like to say.

OutKick Culture Department readers already know The Villages, Florida is one of the craziest places on the planet where STDs are traded like Apple stock and retirees spend their golden years arguing about politics before they go off to the grave.

Now comes the news via The New York Post that the latest phenomenon inside the massive golf cart community revolves around drunken housewives and mayhem that has led to more and more golf cart fires and wrecks.

Golf cart fires and crashes due to drunken housewives are becoming a huge issue in The Villages, Florida. / Getty Images / WPTV-NBC

“You have housewives getting drunk at lunch and getting into their carts and crashing," an emergency services worker told the Post.

“You have kids doing donuts and flipping over. Carts catching fire sometimes. Most people are responsible. But a hell of a lot of people aren’t.”

You have golf cart batteries overheating and causing fires. You have houses going up in flames. You have people being burned by these fires. You have golf carts bursting into flames on the streets.

You have typical Florida chaos.

One "Villages DUI golf cart" Google News Search reveals that the residents of this 55+ community sure do love to get loaded (allegedly).

Back in August, the police got their hands on Donna Hansen, 63, who was booked for her seventh DUI and jailed because she was out on bond for a 2022 golf cart DUI. Then there's the case of another woman who was popped in August 2022 for having a blood alcohol content level of .380. Cops found vodka bottles in her car. While on bond for that car DUI incident, the woman was popped for sleeping in her golf cart while a Black Box Merlot box was in the cart.

Geez, old-timers, how about getting loaded and calling a golf cart Uber to get you home?

We know you're smart enough to download apps on your phone because you're the same people bitching and moaning -- via your phones -- on Facebook all day long. Now download Uber or the Lyft app and leave the driving to the experts.

As for the golf cart fires, the experts say overcharging of lithium batteries leads to heat which leads to fire which then leads to double-wides burning to the ground.

"There's chemicals within these batteries and under extreme heat, they go into what we call thermal runaway, and they then become an issue. When they do become volatile, what happens is they'll emit a bunch of smoke, it's really toxic smoke," Jacksonville Fire Department Captain Eric Prosswimmer told First Coast News in June. "The best thing that you can do as a civilian is just get away from it and call 911."

The lesson today is that if you're going to retire to Florida with your 401k and your company pension, you have to be prepared for the crazy. Protect yourself at all times. Don't overcharge your golf carts. Be careful at 4-way stops if you see the Villages drunks coming from the opposite direction. Scope out the bars to learn the town drunks.

Remember: This isn't your little Midwestern town in Indiana where things were absolutely perfect.

This is Florida where the crazies are professional.