Drew Barrymore Loves Mama Kamala, Afroman Dunks On Hunter Biden, Post Malone Gets Country & A Pickeball Debate
I mind my own business at the gym.
I really do. I'm get in, throw some barbells around, get out. And I pay zero attention to any other human beings in there.
But today a guy caught my eye over by the cubbies. Standing just a few feet away from him, I watched this guy pull a shaker bottle, a Topo Chico and a jar of powdered amino acids out of his bag.
An aside: Y'all, I'm a Topo Chico addict. I don't know how they get it to taste so much better and crisper than all the other sparkling waters out there, but they sure do. Mix it with a splash of fresh-squeezed OJ (and some tequila if you're feisty), and it is just so damn delightful.
Anyway, I thought, There is no way this guy is going to pour that carbonated water into a shaker bottle.
But, guys, he sure the heck did. I watched him dump the bottle of Topo Chico into the cup, add a scoop of powder and proceed to give it a vigorous shake.
Maybe I should have stepped in to Womansplain what was actually going to happen here, but I needed a little 7 a.m. entertainment. So I decided to see how it played out.
And it went kind of like this, except slightly less dramatic:
I burst out laughing as he tried to slurp the purple foaming bubbles off the side of his shaker bottle. He was visibly embarrassed.
"How did you think that was going to go?" I asked him.
"Better than that," he said.
And before y'all call me a jerk, I was at least nice enough to go fetch him a handful of paper towels.
That guy probably needs a stiff drink right about now. And maybe you do, too. Grab yourself a cold can of your preferred beer (careful not to shake it) and settle in. It's Nightcaps time!
We Have Ourselves A Pickleball Controversy
Yes, you read that right.
Pickleball is the fastest-growing sport in the country, and it has upper middle-class white people in an absolute chokehold. Think of it as a much-easier tennis or a much-harder ping-pong. But whatever you want to call it, it's sweeping the nation.
Over the weekend, the PPA (Pro Pickleball Association) Tour headed to St. George, Utah, for the Red Rock Open. And during the mixed doubles, an incident took place that sparked a debate among the pickleball community about respect and sportsmanship.
Lina Padegimaite and Zane Navratil faced Martina Frantova and Andrei Daescu in the Round of 32. I don't expect you to know who these people are, but just take my word that they won many tennis awards in their younger days.
Anyway, here comes the controversial play: Padegimaite slipped on the court in the middle of the point. As she lay on the ground, her 6-foot-4 opponent, Daescu hit the ball right back at her. Since she was on the floor, she could not return it.
He immediately apologized after the point and said that he "had to." But Padegimaite was furious!
Personally, I see no issue with this. It's like in little league, when your coach tells you to hit the ball to the kid who's sitting down in the outfield picking grass. Or when I played volleyball, and I purposely served to the person who sucks at defense.
There are some pansies who believe that Daescu broke the unwritten rules of pickleball by hitting Padegimaite while she was down. According to these people, he should have lobbed a softball over to Navratil and dink it back and forth until Padegimaite could stand up and gather herself.
Nope. That's loser mentality. If a safety falls down, do you think Patrick Mahomes is NOT going to throw the football to his wide open receiver? If you steal the basketball on a fast break, are you going to dunk on the unguarded basket or are you going to wait for the defense to get down there and post up?
Give me a break, people. Professional pickleball is serious business, and them's the breaks, sister!
There are some community pickleball courts right next to my house, and I'm almost embarrassed to say that I've considered giving it a try. I'm a former athlete in my mid-30s, so I think this means I will automatically be good at it with little to no practice.
Maybe after I run this Screencaps Ragnar in October.
Drew Barrymore Is Losing It
At this point, I'm not sure she ever had it. Although she was great in E.T.
But gone are the days of classic '80s movies featuring Drew Barrymore as a child. Now, she just has this awful talk show where she holds hands with guests as she uncomfortably fawns over their entire existence.
Actually, that's not fair. I've never watched the show. But every time I hear about it, it's because she did that very thing. For example, who could forget her getting on her knees (literally) for Dylan Mulvaney last year as he whined about how hard it is being a woman?
Because nothing says girl power like submissively kneeling at the feet of the patriarchy!
Anyway, in the latest installment of Drew being weird, the actress invited Vice President Kamala Harris on her show. And because this administration doesn't actually do any sort of serious interview, this one centered around how Kamala should act as a "mother" to the American people.
"I’ve been thinking that we really all need a tremendous hug in the world right now," Barrymore said, "but in our country, we need you to be Mamala of the country."
The MAMALA. This is the cringiest thing you'll watch all week:
Yiiiiiikes.
Between this and that Howard Stern interview with Joe Biden, it's been quite the week for washed-up celebrities groveling for the love and acceptance of daddy government. Or "mamala" government?
While we're on the topic, though…
Afroman Re-Makes A Classic
Afroman emerged from his cloud of cannabis smoke this weekend to drop a banger on us. It'll probably sound familiar to you as it's just a re-make of his monster hit from 24 years ago (Jesus, I feel old) — "Because I Got High."
Same idea. Except this one is all about Hunter Biden, his drug use and the Biden family influence peddling.
"This one might take me to the stratosphere," Afroman — whose real name is Joseph Edgar Foreman — told Newsweek. "I might be singing it at some Trump rallies."
Do yourself a favor and watch this whole thing:
"Some people are above the law while regular people have to obey it," Afroman said. "When you lay the facts out about Hunter, it's just a little funny, so we wrote a parody song to have fun with life and politics."
RELATED: Police Suing Afroman For 'Humiliation' After He Made Music Videos About Them
Just brilliant work all around. No notes.
Now let's move on to a guy who loves a different kind of trees.
The World's Best Tree Hugger
Move over, Greta Thunberg! We've found someone who likes the environment more than you do.
A 29-year-old man named Abubakar Tahiru just broke the Guinness World Record for the most trees hugged in one hour.
Yes, they really are just passing out prizes for literally everything these days.
The Ghana native hugged 1,123 trees in 60 minutes — averaging almost 19 trees per minute. There were rules, though: He could not hug the same tree more than once or cause any damage to the saplings. Otherwise, he'd be disqualified.
And aren't you so glad we got Instagram embeds back so that you could feast your eyes on this fella and his remarkable accomplishment?
But hold on, it gets better.
Tahiru said: "It’s important to me to inspire the youth in Ghana, especially those from less privileged communities like the one I grew up in, showing them that it’s possible to rise above challenges and make a significant impact."
Don't laugh! He's making about as much of an impact as those losers gluing themselves to the road or throwing soup at the Mona Lisa. And he's not bothering anyone — except maybe some squirrels.
But tree-hugging ain't easy, kids! Tahiru also spoke about some of the challenges he faced in the grueling hour of arbor love.
"Not being able to drink water throughout the attempt posed a significant challenge, especially given the physical exertion required," Abubakar said. "However, this also proved to be helpful in a way, as there was no need to pause for water breaks, allowing me to continue the attempt uninterrupted from start to finish."
So glad he fought his way through it. Now, can we introduce him to that eco-sexual lady we featured in Nightcaps a few months ago?
Post Malone Goes Country
Some people liked Beyoncé's "country" album. Some thought it was a steaming pile of garbage. I'm in the latter camp. But if there's one country cross-over we can all get on board with, it's Post Malone.
The Grammy-nominated rapper, singer and producer hit up Stagecoach over the weekend and completely stole the show. On Saturday night at the festival, he performed a 45-minute set full of covers that sent '90s country fanatics like myself to their happy place.
"We're going to be doing a bunch of songs that I f-cking love," Malone told the crowd.
He introduced himself by his government name, by the way. And since you now know Afroman's real name, you might as well know his, too: Austin Richard Post.
Posty has been teasing a country album for years now, and in November 2023, he specifically said the wheels were in motion.
"Country album is coming," he said on his Twitch channel. "I keep singing a song that we made while I was in Nashville, and it's so f-ckin' sick, but it's not out. We made such sick music down in Nashville. It was so much, so much fun."
Maybe this Stagecoach set means this album might finally come to fruition.
Oh, also at Stagecoach: Jelly Roll and T-Pain honored the late, great Toby Keith with their rendition of "Should've Been a Cowboy."
Damn, we miss you, Toby.
One More Thing
Speaking of country music, a TikToker spent a couple of weeks asking artificial intelligence to write one country song each day. And they are surprisingly hilarious.
Here are a few of AI's greatest hits: a life song, a drinkin' song and a love song. Enjoy.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.