Disney Fights Back Against Fake Disability Lineskippers, Promises Lifetime Bans

Walt Disney World is telling all you phony ride lineskippers that the gig is up!

Under their new policy, Disney announced that anyone caught lying in order to get a wheelchair via the park's Disability Access Service (DAS) so they don't have to wait in ride lines will result in a lifetime ban from all Disney properties. Disney says that the overall use of the DAS system has tripled in just the past five years alone.

"If it is determined that any of the statements a guest made in the process of obtaining DAS are not true, the guest will be permanently barred from entering the Walt Disney World Resort and the Disneyland Resort, and any previously purchased Annual Passes, Magic Key passes, tickets and other park products and services will be forfeited and not refunded," Disney's new guidance reads.

THOSE LYING ABOUT THEIR NEEDS WILL FACE A LIFETIME DISNEY BAN

If you don't think this happens a lot - pay better attention the next time you're at Disney, Six Flags, Busch Gardens or even the handicap accessible parking spot at your local CostCo. (And let's not get started about those flying with emotional support animals… My buddy knows a guy who will give you a doctor's notice for $100.)

Meanwhile, you are with your family on a hot, 100-degree day and have been waiting 2 hours to get on Space Mountain wishing that you spent that $177 Disney single-day park admission and upgraded to a hotel suite at your local beach instead.  

And out of the corner of your eye you see someone in a wheelchair rolling on to the exit. Suddenly, you make a double glance because you swore you were just talking to that person and having a grand ol' time during breakfast that morning. Then you realize that they played the system and won by lying to get a wheelchair, while you wait in line with the peasants just trying to avoid any random bathroom incidents from the thousands of kids in line as well as maybe some of their grandparents. 

According to the new Disney change, there will be a coherent effort to cut back on the number of DAS passes given out each day to those "with autism or other developmental disabilities." That's a heck of a lot more important than those that were freaking out on Disney Reddit last night that life wasn't fair because they suffered from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I'm sure you do as you scoff down another one of those giant turkey legs at Epcot. 

Honestly, for all the L's that Disney has taken in recent months and years, the threat of a lifetime ban on fake lineskippers is actually a great move.

Now only if they could do something about all those damn fist fights that continue to happen.