Dire Wolves Get Rebooted, LeBron Is A Barbie, And Snow White Was Full Of Hot Air

We’ve hit the weekend, ladies and gentlemen, which means that it’s time for another edition of The Punch-Up, your one-stop shop for a joke-ified rundown of all the news you need to know from the week that was.

And what a week it was.

The dire wolf came back from extinction, while, sadly, Dennis the Menace went the other way.

The Snow White fallout continued, while LeBron got the Barbie treatment, and some NHL goalies got treats from Budweiser. 

So, what do you say? Let’s get a move on!

Actor John Lithgow says that Donald Trump's return to office is the worst thing to happen to the arts since COVID. Well, then clearly he hasn’t watched his screener of the live-action Snow White.

Speaking of which, Disney’s disastrous Snow White bomb reportedly created more carbon emissions than the most recent film in the Fast & Furious series. So it’s official: Rachel Zegler pumps out more hot air than a fleet of muscle cars.

A new bill in California, nicknamed "Leno’s Law," supported by former Tonight Show host Jay Leno, seeks to exempt classic cars from the state’s smog checks. Not sure that it will pass since it also includes a provision requiring mandatory denim shirts for all Californians.

Fans in Memphis were not happy about a tornado warning interrupting coverage of the Final Four game between Florida and Auburn. As for Duke fans, they would have given anything for a tornado to interrupt their game against Houston.

The New York Times is accusing White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt of ignoring emails from journalists who include pronouns in their bios. So, in other words, she’s being accused of acting like the rest of us.

A new study suggests that chewing gum could release microplastics into your saliva. If true, this explains why Bazooka Joe looks like he was born in Chernobyl.

Scientists now say that a day on Uranus is now 28 seconds longer. The discovery was published in the scientific journal, "Hilarious Sounding Findings Quarterly."

Comedian Shane Gilis said that he was "stunned" upon meeting WNBA star Caitlin Clark ahead of a recent show in Indianapolis. The thing that stunned him the most? The fact that he recognized a WNBA player.

A McDonald’s worker is accused of choking a 17-year-old customer after she tried to help herself to some ranch dipping sauce. That’s unacceptable behavior: Once you turn 12, it’s time to graduate from ranch to blue cheese.

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Got all of that?

Good stuff; we'll meet back here next week!