Paulina Gretzky In Sunday Red At The Masters For Tiger?, Annie Agar Masters Meeting & Jenna Sims in No. 69
I'm back from The Masters, it was incredible (as advertised) and meeting one of my content idols went well even though the experts say to never meet your content idols
Where do I start?
First, thank you to The Source® who provided the tickets that made Tuesday's practice round possible for myself and Canoe Kirk, who had never attended a professional golf tournament, or a practice round. Without the tickets, the parking spot hookup and the inside information The Source® provided, I wouldn't have just spent two days having an incredible time in Augusta.
Second, thank you to the hundreds upon hundreds of you who have sent emails since I started writing about the possibility of stepping foot on the grounds at Augusta National well over a year ago. We're not sure if one of you gave us the tip to head to the 7th tee box, but we did, and it turned out really, really well. More on that in a minute.
A special thanks goes out to the Screencaps readers who showed up to the Screencaps Augusta scramble: Bill, Tom in Atlanta, SB in SC, Wes G. and Jason. These guys either took off a Monday to play golf and three of them drove like three hours to play during the eclipse. SB in SC even brought eclipse glasses for us to wear. I'm telling you, Screencaps readers have their fingers on the pulse of this column. SB said he had something for all of us on like the 13th tee box. I thought it was a shot of Fireball, but it turned out to eclipse glasses so we could experience the moment Beau in Toledo had been telling us all about for at least a year.
Team SC (Bill, Tom, Wes G. and myself) finished at -4; Team Canoe Kirk was -2. I'll have more nuggets from the trip later.
This morning, let's start with our day at Augusta National, since that's the purpose of the trip, and give a cliff notes version.
Overall experience: Was it better than expected, as expected or didn't meet expectations?
Better.
Why?
Because as we all know, Tiger Woods is literally on his last leg, and going in, if I could have a Tiger at The Masters experience, all would be right in the world and with my bucket list. Seeing the Augusta grounds is one thing. Being two feet from a smiling and loose Tiger on a beautiful tee box with Fred Couples and Justin Thomas at Augusta is a whole new level.
How'd it happen?
We followed the advice of dozens and dozens of readers who advised us to put our chairs behind the green on 16 and the golf gods intervened.
Here's how the morning started: We entered at the South gate at like 7:25 and happened upon the gift shop, which was piling up. We needed chairs, so the gift shop was our first destination. It was going to set the tone. Because it's The Masters and this place is the best in the customer experience business, the line never stopped moving. We made it in after probably 30 minutes.
Kirk dropped somewhere around $530. I was fine at $320, but I could've easily gone way higher. My brain told me to stop. The guy who checked out in front of me bought what looked like the same polo for his entire golf league. One bag had approximately 12 polos. When you guys said it would be easy to spend thousands, you weren't lying.
Our morning gift shop plan also meant we were able to both get the cherished gnomes. I had no idea just how important that would be until we immediately ran our purchases back to our car (thanks to OutKick's Mark Harris for that tip; everyone relax, the parking spot wasn't far outside that South gate thanks to The Source®; we didn't have far to walk) and we were ready to dump chairs at 16.
That's when the golf gods intervened.
The chairs were barely placed on the beautiful, weedless rough of No. 16 when a guy behind us started talking about how Tiger, JT and Couples were on like No. 5 and heading our way.
It was gametime. Instincts kicked in. The prep work paid off. We knew No. 6 was behind our chairs because of how many emailers said it for weeks. We also knew there was a concession stand up the hill.
Up the hill we went to secure breakfast and then there it was, the No. 7 tee box was empty. We had the intel in our heads, there was still time to get breakfast and get to that tee box. The concession is on the right side of the tee box if you're standing in the fairway crossover looking back into the woods. I told Canoe Kirk we needed to get on the left side so our photos would be into Tiger's face. The left side was empty. We posted up right next to the tee box markers and ate breakfast.
Quick Masters breakfast food review:
The chicken biscuit needed something. Probably hot sauce. You don't get cheated with the sandwich as far as volume, but the flavor wasn't there for me. I could've gone for a spicy version. The biscuit was huge and aggressive. I had to woof it down because Tiger could be walking up at any minute.
In reality, we had time to test the Masters breakfast sandwich which I think was bacon, egg and cheese on what I seem to remember was a brioche bun. Excellent breakfast sandwich. Home run. I told Kirk I could eat that sandwich every single day at a golf tournament.
Back to the Tiger Experience.
After we crushed two sandwiches, the crowds started coming. Those of you who know the No. 7 tee box know that it's been pushed back into the Augusta forest of beautiful plants and trees. It's not wide. If you're not early, you're late.
Then it happened. Here came Thomas walking back to us right down the left side as I suspected. He gets to the box and then it happens, the golf gods intervened and Tiger makes his way towards us, also hugging the left side. We're right by the water coolers, right by where I suspect the caddies will stand the bags.
The plan couldn't have gone any better. Tiger posts up two feet in front of us. Fred Couples, just oozing coolness, is going on and on to Thomas about how he's supposed to pronounce Akshay Bhatia's name. Tiger's talking to a caddie, smiling. Balls are being blasted off the box. There are no marshalls. There's no silence. It's like these guys are hitting golf balls in someone's backyard as hundreds of people at the party are drinking beers at 8:30 a.m. and having a good time.
Couples strolls up, places his neon yellow ball on the tee, takes one look at the fairway and smokes driver with a slight fade. Thomas hits another with his three wood. Tiger's being Tiger. He hits driver, I think. It's pretty much like I passed out, but the memories of that tee box, in general, are burned into my memory.
We have photos, but I have to get them off a memory card. Trust me, I'll provide the proof.
Our day couldn't have started any better. The Masters Moment® of a lifetime had been secured.
Quick hitters:
• We hauled ass up No. 7 and over to 8 fully knowing we could get to No. 9 to see Tiger hit his second up the hill. This gave us our first true experience of the elevation changes at Augusta. The emailers weren't lying. The climb up that hill is no joke and it's not one I'd be wanting to make late in the day after 12 Crow's Nest cold ones. We posted up on the south side up slope of No. 9 and saw Tiger make the walk to end his golf for the day.
• That led us up to the clubhouse area where Annika was holding court at one of the tables. Since there was definite action around that clubhouse, it was an area to hang. At some point, I'm standing right at the security entrance to the clubhouse outdoor dining area and I turn just as Dustin Johnson is mere inches from my face about to run me over. Not on purpose. Relax. It's a mad house up there.
• Eventually, it's time to start walking the course. No. 1 to No. 2 and all of this turns into a spot on No. 4 watching guys try to hit that 245-yard Par 3. I'd lay up and play it as a Par 4.
• That leads over to another great hidden spot, the No. 5 tee box. It's another hidden club area at Augusta. We see the Canadians: Weir, Connors, Hadwin and Taylor tee off followed by another group. I think Van Rooyen was back there at some point. Things get blurry.
• The biggest takeaway from No. 5 is that I spotted birds in the trees that I think were creating a chorus of sounds, but the birds seem suspect. Are they animatronic birds? That's something that will not be confirmed, nor denied by people I ask throughout the day, including the crossover security guys on No. 5 who were guarding a service road.
• From 5 it's back to the 16th area where we needed to make decisions and that was to use the beautiful toilets hidden in the woods up the hill towards the south gate area and then a trip to Amen Corner.
• I remember the first time I walked up the steps at Wrigley to see the green grass for the first time. That's what it was like when I got my first glimpse of Hogan Bridge walking between 13 & 14. It was a hair-on-the-arms stands at attention moment. I'm not lying. It was everything I'd hoped it would be and more.
• Then that corner of the course just keeps getting better how it's like the most beautiful metropark in the world back there with a golf course cut into the metropark. The concession stand is perfectly placed in the shade with people enjoying life. There's the perfect point towards 12 where patrons can take their photos.
Simply beautiful.
• From there it was back to No. 16 to hunker down for golf ball skipping. The roars from fans sitting there all day could be heard across the entire grounds. It was time to see it in action and this is when the golf gods intervened again. We got to see Rahm, Rory, Adam Scott, Bryson, Hatton and a bunch more I can't remember right now, skipping golf balls and having a great time.
There was even a young guy, can't remember his name, who came close to holing his skip shot and led to him doing an old school raise the roof celebration.
That was the end of our day. Beers, a cool breeze, golfers hitting on one of the most iconic golf holes in the world and not a single person talking on a cellphone.
It was magical.
• No weeds. I'm glad I never took that bet.
• No squirrels. I don't know how they do it, but I'd watch a 90-part Netflix series on a bunch of things at Augusta.
• The concession line speed was even better than expected.
• The BBQ sandwich tasted even better than I had last year in the Masters Experience meal kit. The egg salad was a little too bland. The pimento cheese had the perfect kick. I could've eaten 10 of those. And I think I had one more sandwich late in the day but I can't remember what it was, but I know it was great.
• The Crow's Nest would be one of the highest-selling beers in the U.S. if it was bottled. And it's COLD beer. You don't get cheated by this place.
• The peach ice cream sandwich was incredible. Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green said I wouldn't regret it and he's right. And, it's HUGE. That's the best value in ice cream sandwiches you're ever going to find.
• I was blown away by the overall beauty of the fairways that never seem to have divots, but I'm more blown away by the rhododendrons, the pines, the red maples, the bamboo, etc. etc. and how the trees and bushes all work together to kill the sounds of the outside world. I tried to tell Mrs. Screencaps how once you enter those gates, you leave the outside world behind. I never heard sirens, horns, car alarms, dogs barking.
The only sounds are the birds, people laughing, golf balls being smoked and crowds roaring.
There was true happiness on those grounds on Tuesday.
Tomorrow: More from the trip including photos and meeting John Daly.
Here's a teaser:
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
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Stuff You Guys Sent In & Stuff I Like :
Paulina Gretzky looks on during Wednesday's Par Three Contest prior to the 2024 Masters Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club. (Photo by Warren Little/Getty Images)
Did Paulina Gretzky wear red to Wednesday's Masters Par 3 contest in honor of Tiger Woods who is battling an ankle injury? (Photo by Warren Little/Getty Images)
Jena Sims Koepka was on the bag Wednesday as her and Brooks made their way around Augusta National's Par 3 course. (Photo by Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images)
Jenna Sims caddies for her husband, Brooksie, during Wednesday's Par 3 contest. (Photo by Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images)