David Caruso, Who Made Cheesy One-Liners Cool On CSI: Miami, Looks Like Hell In 2023

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If you're around my age (30), you grew up watching David Caruso dramatically take off his sunglasses on CSI: Miami.

If you're older than me, you watched him on NYPD Blue. Either-or. Take your pick.

Regardless, we all remember him, right? Legend of the acting game, especially on wild cop/crime shows with crazy and hilarious twists.

Frankly, he's the reason CSI: Miami became by far the best of all the CSI shows. Some will argue the OG CSI: Vegas with Gil Grissom -- AKA William Peterson -- was the best of them.

Those people are wrong. CSI: Miami with Horatio Caine, smokeshow Calleigh Duquesne and her on-again, off-again lover, Eric Delko, was absolute must-see TV for like a decade. Incredible stuff.

Anyway, back to David Caruso. He retired from acting a while back and is some sort of artist or something now. I don't know.

I do know he resurfaced recently for the first time since 2017, and he is certainly no longer equipped to catch bad guys in South Beach.

Buckle up:

I'm concerned about David Caruso

My God. What the hell has happened here? Where is Horatio Caine? That's not my Miami detective. Not by a long shot.

Remember last summer when Jack Nicholson emerged for the first time in like two years and looked like hell? This is way worse. Jack is 86. When you're 86, all bets are off. You wanna look like a slob at 86? More power to you. Lord knows I will.

But David Caruso is 67. Feel like he's way too young for this sort of transformation. Not when he was a hero to so many of us back in the day.

PS: did you know Caruso hasn't acted since Miami was canceled back in 2012? Shocking.

According to our pals at the NY Post, Caruso retired from acting then and has since entered the art business, including opening a gallery in hellhole Los Angeles. Judging by the above picture, he should fit right in.

Anyway, it's all sad to me. Makes me feel old. Frankly, makes me a little worried about the rest of the CSI: Miami cast, namely Calleigh Duquesne, played by Emily Proctor.

Never mind! We're all good there, baby!

All in all, still a sad little reminder that life is short and you shouldn't get too attached to your childhood heroes, because one day they'll grow old and become an LA artist and look like hell.

When that happens, you have to remember the good times:

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.