Danica Patrick Gets Soaked, Sex Aerobics Is The New Workout Craze & Riley Gaines In A Bikini Angers The Libs
We're over the hump, I think my ear is slowly coming back to life, my car is getting fixed as we speak (and it's covered by the warranty!), and I've been watching US Open golf since sunrise.
Folks, we are BACK. Let's get this show on the road, because the momentum is almost assuredly gonna run out of steam at some point soon.
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we check in with Danica Patrick and then dominate a sex workout class. What? That's right! This new erotic workout class is taking over the internet today, and it may be just what the doctor ordered to finally get obese Americans back in the gym. You'll see.
What else? I'd like to go off the beaten path and actually praise today's golf coverage – which I know is taboo in 2024. Weird, right?
I've also got Robert Kraft's wife stealing the headlines at last night's Tom Brady enshrinement, Larry Csonka checking in with the manliest rant of all time, and I can't get enough of this Trump/Jake Paul video.
Today's National Days suck, so just go ahead and grab you something strong, and quickly scroll through this between US Open commercial breaks. Deal? Deal!
Let's roll.
Speaking of the US Open …
I know society likes to take a giant dump on golf coverage, and most of the time, it's warranted. I can only "play through" so many times before I get annoyed.
But I've got to hand it to NBC and the USA Network, because they crushed it today. You know why?
When I woke up and flipped on the TV this morning, I didn't have to pull up a stupid app. Or sign up for some stupid ESPN+ subscription that I'll forget about for the next six months. Or go to some illegal streaming site that buffers every two seconds and features random porn ads popping up on my screen every five minutes.
Nope. I just … went to the USA Network and watched golf. That's it. No "featured groups." No "Live from the US Open" Golf Channel coverage where they don't actually show any live shots. Just regular, down-to-earth, live golf shots.
So I'm gonna give NBC credit on this one. Nice work. Thank you. It was an absolute pleasure.
As for the actual golf … Pinehurst is just devilish:
Danica Patrick welcomes IndyCar to FOX
Just a solid morning of golf coverage. And hey! Tiger even played well for a full five holes before the wheels (what's left of them) came off like they sadly do every single tournament nowadays.
I miss the old Tiger. We'll never see it again. I love Scottie Scheffler, but no golfer will every move the needle like Eldrick did back in the day. There was nothing like it.
Speaking of moving the needle … how about FOX acquiring the rights to IndyCar starting next season? Now, I'm a NASCAR guy through and through. Do you see this sort of energy at an IndyCar race? I don't think so.
Of course not. We're a different breed.
That being said, FOX getting both the Daytona 500 AND the Indy 500 starting next season is an unreal win for the company that signs my paychecks. Good for them, good for me, good for you!
And, of course, good for Danica Patrick!
How about this new erotic workout class?
Welcome back to class, Danica! And welcome to FOX, IndyCar. Again, I don't have much use for you, but I like the Indy 500, so I'm in.
You know what else I'm … in? … on? This new workout class that's taking the internet by storm today. I thought it was a bit at first. Still might be. But, as far as I can tell, it's real, and it's insane.
You want Americans to get their asses back in the gym? Want us to stop being so fat and lazy? Throw a bunch of hot women in a gym and get to grinding!
Riley in a bikini, Larry Csonka has me fired up & Robert Kraft's wife stole the night
I mean, what a class to stumble into, huh? Could you imagine?
Now, luckily for you, I did some Big J digging and think I found the founder of this newfangled workout class. The Jane Fonda of the class, if you will.
Meet Tatyana Biseri, the founder of EroTraverse training. From the website:
10 years ago I developed a unique program, the value of which is to create a habit in the body to move beautifully in sexual positions, reflexively contracting intimate muscles.
Who's ready to turn their life around today? I am! Let's get in shape this summer, baby!
Rapid-fire time on this Thursday afternoon. First up? You know who doesn't need to get in shape? Riley Gaines. Our girl continues to drive the libs insane on social media by showing them what an actual woman looks like:
Take notes, wokes – that's what a Republican woman looks like. Give 'em hell, Riley!
Next? Speaking of angering the mob!
Hilarious. It's amazing the battery on Trump. It just never quits. He's the Energizer Bunny at 77. Hell, I think he's more energized today than he was four years ago. Like him or hate him, you have to respect the grind.
And not the sex workout class grind, either!
You know who else is 77? Larry Csonka!
No clue why Csonka tweeted that today, but buddy, did it have me READY to run through a brick wall. Legend. Absolute specimen. Those were the days.
Riley, Trump and Larry Csonka in today's rapid-fire portion of class? The left's heads are exploding right now. Don't you DARE accuse me of mailing it on a slow-news Thursday in June!
Oh, you thought I was done? Nope. One more! Anyone see Robert Kraft's wife, Dana, steal the show at Tom Brady's big night last night?
Can't imagine why!
Tiffany Gomes takes us into a big week
Robert Kraft is 83. Dana Blumberg is 50. These two lovebirds tied the knot back in 2022 and it's been bliss ever since.
Blumberg is an ophthalmologist, specializing in eye and vision care and glaucoma. That seems like it will almost certainly come in handy in a few not-so-distant years for Mr. Kraft. Just a hunch.
Anyway, big night for Tom. And an even bigger one for Bobby and Dana. Congrats to all!
That's all for today. Thanks for making it this far. As a reward, here's Crazy Plane Lady Tiffany Gomas angering the wokes once again.
See you tomorrow.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Would you run through a brick wall for Csonka? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.