Danica Patrick Chats With Erection Expert Who Shares 'Needle' Moving Advice, Sad Cowboys Fans & MEAT!

PublishedSeptember 16, 2024 8:56 AM EDT|UpdatedSeptember 16, 2024 8:56 AM EDT

4th and 16 and playing prevent a win defense

I'm going to keep this short: My father and I have been absolutely TORTURED by the Bengals and the prevent a win defense deployed by so many of the coaches who have tortured us over the years.

Sunday in Kansas City was just another example as the Bengals played Hail Mary defense when Patrick Mahomes needed 16 yards. Of course there was a pass interference call. It was either going to be that or the Bengals were going to lose track of Kelce and Mahomes was going to throw a 60-yard touchdown.

I'm happy to report that I've let this loss go much easier than past losses to the Chiefs.

Here's the reality that 0-2 teams are facing this morning:

And here's the reality if you go back a little further:

If you're a Saints fan…I'm not saying it's going to happen…but…

Have we gone too far with the pressure on boys to handle homecoming proposals so suburban moms can post the content on their social media channels?

A buddy of mine told me this weekend that his son, a 15-year-old sophomore, sorta got set up on a homecoming blind date and that meant he had to go through with a homecoming sign proposal even though he's never actually met the girl in person. She goes to a Catholic school, so the only time this boy has ever met the girl is online.

Still, the cultural norm said that the boy had to go through with a poster board and flowers to ask the girl out to homecoming. With a week left before homecoming, father and son had to rush around to put together this proposal. They're all stressed out that the proposal had to go off without a hitch.

Have we gone too far as a society with this stuff? Are we torturing our boys so parents (suburban moms) can put this stuff on social media for their own dopamine rushes?

How bad is it out there? Share stories.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

How do we know exactly when ‘life is fleeting’? Is there a playbook for when you should feel like ‘life is fleeting’ or does it happen when you start pulling Social Security?

This is in response to Ryan Reynolds telling the ‘Today Show’ that he's now 47 and came to the conclusion that "life is fleeting."

- Dom Z in Scottsdale knows when it hit him:

The Life is fleeting thing hit me when I turned 60. I tend to relate life to sports, maybe like most people who read this column. Turning 60 makes me think I was entering the 4th quarter of a football game (of Life).

He is where you win the game or lose. The clock is ticking...time to knock off all those things you've been wanting to do your whole life. By the time you hit 80, God willing, those things are going to be harder to do. But, 60 to 80, Joe Montana time, baby. Win the game!

- Bill in Dayton, Nevada writes:

It's a sad day when reality comes up and slaps you in the face. You never know when it will happen, but it will happen. Mine was September 25th, 2019. I was playing tennis with my son. It was his first year on his local high school tennis team, so we wanted to work on his skills.

Throughout the times we have played he was making some good progress. I also played on my high school tennis team and have been playing recreationally since. Things are going fairly well for me; I am up 4-1 and serving 40-15. After a couple rallies, my son hits a lob over my head.

My initial reaction was 'that was a nice shot, time to regroup and go serve'. I should have stuck with that. As the ball reached its arc and started coming down, I thought to myself 'I think I can get that'. I started back peddling got ready to swing... and lost my balance. I went down pretty hard; both my son and wife came running asking if I was ok.

I'm doing a self-inventory on my arms, legs, head and torso. Torso is good, didn't hit my head, arms feel good, right leg is a little sore. I tell them I think I'm ok. I get up with some effort, start walking around and the pain is getting worse. We head home to go lay down and rest the leg. I can't get out of the car, so we head to ER.

They run all their test and x-rays and doctor tell me that I broke my hip. At 48 YEARS OLD, I BREAK MY F@$KING HIP!!!

Good thing it was just a crack and didn't require surgery. I am good now, but it is now in the back of my head that every time I play tennis, golf, basketball, that I am getting old and my body is slowly breaking down. Life is fleeting, so enjoy it while you can.

- Thomas V. in NC emails:

I lost 2 good friends when they were each 33. My own family medical record isn't stellar, so around then is when I realized it and started taking better care of myself. So I just try to be grateful for every day, as Warren Zevon said 'Enjoy every Sandwich'.

- Dan from Arizona adds perspective:

Life isn’t short, it’s the longest thing you’ll ever do!

- Psychologist Paul knows this topic well:

Not to get all shrinky (I'm a psychologist), but it's interesting how we process aging, our own mortality, "time is fleeting", etc. For me (I'm 52), I think about mortality probably more than I should (haa), but it really hit me when I turned 50. So, I think it's all in how you perceive "time is fleeting"...if you approach it positively, like you do Joe with your common Screencap messages of "attack the day/week", "crush that meeting", "enjoy the weekend", etc, then you're using it as fuel to maximize your fulfillment in life. Those who live the most meaningful and fulfilling lives have a quiet sense that the clock is ticking yet live in the moment and maximize physical, emotional, and connection health.

Great topic! Keep up the great work, and my buddies ALWAYS love the "travel ball hardo" stories. So fn good!

Alabama fan makes brats for his Wisconsin game party

- TV was the fan who asked what should be on the menu for the Alabama-Wisconsin game:

I did 2 batches of Brats yesterday and everyone loved them. Simmered them in PBR and onions then grilled and served on brat buns with Koops spicy brown mustard (couldn’t find the stone ground) and sauerkraut.

The cheese curds were an even bigger hit; as soon as I’d turn them out they’d disappear. I did a little variation to the link SDH sent by adding some onion powder and garlic powder to the flour then drizzled them with Mike’s Hot Honey when they were done. Highly recommend y’all give that a try!

Thanks again, everyone!

Booyah soup

- Andrew shares:

Between conversations on chili/soup and when it’s appropriate to have them to respect summer I have another contender. Booyah is a soup that is popular in certain regions of Wisconsin and some other parts of the Midwest but Green Bay is the unofficial capital.

No matter the time of year it’s a big thing if there is a booyah sale going on and any Catholic Church picnic worth going to will sell it to you by the gallon. This is the pot we made yesterday despite temps pushing the mid 80s and it was fantastic.

There are several variations but chicken and beef is the way to go and no short cuts, we started with 16 chicken leg quarters and by the time we were done we had 7 gallons of booyah to share with the family and have everyone go home with an ice cream bucket full. Happy to share more details if you’re interested.

Anonymous wants to know your OnlyFans habit(s)

- Anonymous writes:

I saw the news that Only Fans content creators are making more than the NBA. I realize that no one is going to admit to paying for Only fans while in polite company, so can you ask the Screencaps readers who subscribes and what they subscribe to? Is it worth the money? Do any Screencaps MVPs (Hannah C Palmer, Mikayla Demaiter) get naked on OnlyFans? That is a crap ton of money that people are making.