Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Celebrate Another Win, Raiders Fans Fighting & Doing Coke Key Bumps (Allegedly), Plus French-Fries
But...but...but...Joe Burrow's hurt...yeah, no kidding he's hurt, and now it's time to go on the IR so he can get his health to the point where he can move 1-2 yards out of the pocket
Here we are on a Monday morning and my NFL season is over. It was a helluva run the last couple of years, but I'm a realist, one of the very few on the Internet, and I know when it's over for my team. I knew it in Week One when the Browns determined Joe Burrow wasn't healthy.
Outside of the Rams giving up like 40 short throws in that Week 3 thrilling Bengals win against a defensive coordinator that should be charged with malpractice, this goes down as a wasted season because the Bengals franchise won't come to the realization that their quarterback can't move out of the shotgun.
I'm just a stupid fan, but even I can tell we're super close to a linebacker, or god forbid some 320-pound defensive lineman drives his shoulder or collarbone into the pavement and straight to the IR with two injuries. Make it stop!
Moving along because you guys get tired of my Bengals ramblings....
Let's turn our attention to Cris Collinsworth and the ridiculous story he tried to tell about how happy he was for Taylor Swift to ride in a convertible after last week's game. For the love of god, SHUT UP. Look, I get that Collinsworth and Tirico were told to interject with Taylor Swift stories because it was good for business, but Collinsworth didn't even know where he was going with his story and just rambled.
It was absolutely brutal television.
Moving along because you're tired of me shredding Collinsworth...
• Riverboat Ron should give back his nickname -- you're not going to go for two after the Eagles gift you the ball back with a chance to win by throwing a touchdown on a double move instead of running out the clock and kicking the game-winner? Come on, Ron.
• I took my kids to the park after Ron had his kicker hit the extra-point.
• Is it crazy to think teams could tank this season for Brock Bowers? My Bengals could use a tight end so Burrow can throw something other than a 5-yard out to Chase.
• Mac Jones is done in New England, right?
• Baker Mayfield has a 68% probability of making the playoffs. The Browns have a 22% probability and a quarterback on a guaranteed contract. The Bengals have a 19% probability and a $275 million QB who is a physical mess.
• Is Anonymous in Tennessee ready to start feeling like this is the year the Lions actually make a playoff run? They now have a 77% probability of making the playoffs and a 13% probability of playing in the Super Bowl. I'm just sayin' it's something to keep an eye on.
• Is there a way I can create my own YouTubeTV NFL Ticket multiview? The Bengals were on Fox here locally and I had one multiview option and that was a split screen with the Browns. Maybe I'm missing something here.
• Speaking of the Browns, how quickly things change:
• Mark D. from Michigan writes:
What the hell is Taylor doing leaving Burrow in there at the end of a blowout getting hammered!!!!! I mean he’s already banged up. I’m a Taylor fan but this team looks awful and he needs to straighten this out asap !
Kinsey:
I assume they said something about getting him reps.
I'm not retiring or quitting on my team like Andy from Knoxville, but for my own health, I'm going to expend less energy trying to figure out some of the moves they're making.
Checking in with the neighbor who played a little ball on the retirement of Miguel Cabrera
The North Dakota crew checks in
I always love to receive messages from the North Dakota Screencaps readers. They just go about their business in one of the remotest areas of the Lower 48 It's inspirational.
• Dillon L. writes:
Hey Joe, been a while since I've checked in with you so figured I better get on it.
We had our local rib cook-off at the Moose Lodge. Unfortunately your boy was unable to represent the caps community and didn't get top 3. (15 teams, pretty good turnout this year.) I included a picture of our ribs from this year that were (in my opinion) legit peppery BBQ flavor with a spicy peach jalapeño sauce. These ribs were highly improved from last years attempt. (See video included) At least we get a shot at redemption in a couple weeks with a burger cook-off that myself and staunch tnml member Nate will bring the heat with the badlands burger. - stay tuned for updates
Also included, we have a new news anchor on the local TV station. Seems like some pretty good talent for the tundra.
Are the Ryder Cup Europeans even Europeans?
• Brent P. writes:
We are on our final leg of our journey in Europe and it happens to be in Rome. Last night the Europeans celebrated as they should. However was it really a European victory when six of their golfers went to US Division 1 colleges, McElroy trained in U.S. from age of 10, he accepted a scholarship to East Tennessee State but did not attend, and Justin Rose is South African not European. 7 players with American ties and one South African.
What do you think?
Kinsey:
I invested way too much time Sunday morning watching the action when the Europeans will head right back to the U.S. to pay U.S. taxes and live in the suburbs in their $20 million mansions while driving American SUVs.
Maybe LIV is onto something with the team battles instead of this fake patriotism.
This was the only Ryder Cup text I sent out Sunday and it was aimed at my opponent at the golf trip back in June.
Tiger Woods will never cry like that if his Ryder Cup team loses.
Wood
• Jake in Oregon writes:
Hey Joe: my entry for the ugliest wood stacking job - north American division. Those European wood stickers are way out of my league. Wife put up the Halloween decorations today ( October 1st per TNML regulations)
Ready to enjoy the fall season.
Keep doing what you do.
I wonder if Clay hates this halftime show...I know he hates college bands
• Glyn writes:
You do a wonderful job. My daily must-read.
Here is part of the Vols halftime. UT used an app to control the lights on the phones.
That's it this morning. The sun is shining. It's going to be 83-84 degrees and I'm jacked up to put in a full day of blogging and raising hell on the Internet.
Let's get after it.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com