Crystal Hefner Bashes Her Dead Husband, Hef: ‘Having To Sleep With An 80-Year-Old, There’s A Price’

Here we go again with Crystal Hefner bashing her dead husband, Hugh Hefner, in the name of more money.

In her new memoir, Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself, Crystal, 37, claims she's finally opening up about her life and times with Hugh, whom she stayed married to until his death at 91 on September 27, 2017.

“I want you to continue my legacy going forward…and I want to remind you to only say good things about me," Crystal claims Hugh told her in his later years.

Those days are over. Crystal is cashing in just as Hugh's girlfriends -- Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt -- tried to do in 2022 when they trashed the dead man on Holly's new podcast where they complained about his "hoarder-style bedroom" and how he had "vibrators all over the bed."

There is plenty of buyer's remorse going around. Ladies, this is a bad, bad look.

Now it's Crystal's turn.

“At the time I thought I was on top," Crystal Hefner told PEOPLE of a period in 2008 when she accepted Hef's invitation to move on into the mansion. "I thought, wow, if I just like everything that he likes and do all the things that he wants me to do, then I'm the favorite. And I was, but I just lost myself in the process.”

Playmate Crystal Hefner (L) and Founder of Playboy Enterprises Hugh Hefner attend the 2013 Playboy Playmate of the Year announcement and reception held at The Playboy Mansion on May 9, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Tommaso Boddi/WireImage)

But, because she has a book to sell, Crystal has complaints that need to be aired, including:

• Hef paid the girlfriends each week and, Crystal claims, he told the ladies to use the money to make themselves beautiful

• Hef insisted on neutral color nail polish

• Hef was anti-belly button rings because he thought they were "trashy"

• He insisted on Crystal wearing the Playboy logo, but she thought the shirts were "uncomfortable and cheap"

• Crystal complains that Hef would mention when her dark hair roots started to grow out

• She complains about mold at the Playboy mansion

• "Too many parties; It was worn out," Crystal says of the house she called home

• Birds in the house were dying of thirst

• "I feel like I was constantly crying for everything and everybody there," she told PEOPLE while claiming everything was depressing and "sad-looking" at the residence

• She was never "in love" with Hugh

Ladies, you knew the Playboy Mansion was a sex den where old men were banging like rabbits and now I'm supposed to believe you were trapped there and held against your will?

"I realized I was dealing with a really big power imbalance,” Crystal continues. “It seemed like a world of success and fantasy, but everyone's having to sleep with an 80-year-old. There's a price. Everything has a price."

You're damn right it does and Hugh was paying up for blondes to slip into whatever made them beautiful and do whatever hot blondes do to an old man who had seen more poon than a PornHub algorithm bot.

In 2017, TMZ reported Crystal was left with a 6,000 sq. ft. Hollywood Hills home, that was part of a trust left to her when Hugh croaked. She was also left with $5 million. This was written into a prenup deal Crystal agreed to in 2012.

In 2018, with Hugh turned to dust, the widow told Australia's The Sunday Telegraph, "I miss him every day." She then sold the house Hef left to her for $5.5 million after originally trying to sell the house for $7.2 million four months after the old man died.

During a 2021 interview with The (U.S.) Sun, Crystal noted that Hef "treated me with respect."

“What sticks with me the most about Hef is just how kind he was," she added in the 2021 interview.

Of course now, all these years later, it's a different tune and there's a book to sell. Now Hef's the bad guy, he ruined Crystal's life, his place was a dump, she was miserable, yada, yada, yada.

Hef was a womanizer. The sex was horrible to live through. They're traumatized. How dare that old man?

Good try, Crystal. Your sob story isn't working with us.