Cristiano Ronaldo Could Face 99 Lashes In Iran For Committing Adultery Over A Hug

What a week for Iran who didn't have any problems funding Hamas in its killings of babies.

Now the scumbags have turned their attention to soccer legend Cristiano Ronaldo and a gentle hug he gave to some wheelchair-bound Iranian painter. According to reports, a bunch of Iranian lawyers who clearly don't have anything better to do are calling for Ronaldo to be charged with adultery for the hug and a kiss on the cheek of this woman Fatima Hamami.

"99 lashes" media outlet Mundo Deportivo's headline screams.

Wait, what? For a hug?

Deportivo reports it's a done deal, Ronaldo will face 99 lashes based on a report from Iranian news outlet Sharq Emroz. Lawyers calling for Ronaldo's punishment claim the hug is adultery because in Iran men are not allowed to touch women they're not married to.

Woah, wait just a minute you Iranian lawyers. Let's see your Internet search history. Are there any Mia Khalifa searches in there? Remember when these weirdos called for her death for turning into a hose hound on PornHub?

It's wild how you no longer hear of Khalifa death threats from the terrorists now that she's spouting off all sorts of nonsense about how her people are being kept in an open-air prison. She's been banging dudes and living in the United States for pretty much her whole life.

Meanwhile, these douche lawyers want to spank Ronaldo for giving Fatima a quick hug to comfort this poor lady who's bound to a wheelchair the rest of her life.

Mia Khalifa getting railed on Pornhub = You go girl!

Ronaldo barely applying pressure to Fatima with his shredded frame = Bend over for your lashes.

Need any further proof that these jerkoffs are a menace to society?

What are the chances Ronaldo would ever be hauled in to face his punishment? Not high.

The Saudi club, Al-Nassr, which gave him a $200 million per year contract, isn't scheduled to visit Iran for the next phase of the Asian Champions League tournament, but it's not completely out of the equation.

Spanish outlet Marca reports that a judge could strike down the decision if he determines "the acts are not punishable or Ronaldo shows remorse."