Crazy Breakup Stories Go Viral, Prove People Need Serious Help

Buckle up for some truly hilarious, sad and wild breakup stories.

As anyone with an ounce of life experience knows that most relationships don't work out. That's definitely true in your younger years of life.

People are figuring out who they are, growing up, maturing and working their way through possible partners.

Even many marriages end in divorce, although the exact number is up for debate. The point is, a lot of relationships don't last, and we have some doozies of examples today.

Bizarre and crazy breakup stories go viral on Reddit.

Per usual, I was scrolling Reddit while sipping on some straight black coffee when I stumbled upon a must-read thread:

"What is the craziest reason you have heard for a breakup/divorce?"

I hope you have your popcorn ready because this thread is electric. Check out some of the responses below, and let me know your thoughts at David.Hookstead@outkick.com:

• The guy in r/skiing yesterday whose gf left him because he wasn't as skilled in skiing as her.
• She went and saw a fortune teller for fun. She was told that he is not the one she's seen with in her future. So she broke up with him the next day.
• Husband's ex gf had a Cosmopolitan quiz tell her they're not compatible and they broke up because of that lol. Obv loads of other issues but that was the last straw.
• Wife was sensitive to fluorescent light bulbs but the husband kept insisting on having them to save the environment. He would change out the incandescent bulbs when she was asleep multiple times. She got sick of it and filed for divorce.
• Two of my really good friends who everyone saw as 'the perfect couple' split up. Two days later, my then partner told me he was leaving because 'it made him realize that if they could split up, anyone could so we might as well get it over and done with now'
• A guy I knew was a recovering alcoholic and on his last chance with his wife. He had been clean for several years, but one night he didn't come home. He was found in someone's front yard passed out with beer bottles around him. He had no recollection of anything that had happened the night before. His wife kicked him to the curb and he was shunned by family and friends.He ended up going to the hospital because his hangover never went away and he was feeling terrible. As it turns out, he wasn't out drinking that night. He had gone for a walk and was jumped and robbed by a bunch of drunk assholes and left unconscious in someone's yard. He had a tbi and a lot of people around him feeling pretty bad.
• I'm not sure if this is crazy: a local lawyer specialises in "silver" divorces (ie older people). When interviewed, he was asked about the oldest person he had arranged a divorce for. He said it was a 93 year old man. When he asked the man why he wanted to divorce so late in life, he said, "Because I want to die in peace"
• My wife joined a cult
• A couple of years ago, I was at a restaurant, and the couple next to us were arguing. The lady was upset with the man because he wouldn’t buy her the newest BMW that had come out that year. The man started listing all the luxurious things he had recently bought her, including the ring on her finger and proceeded to call her an ungrateful brat. She got up, slapped him, and stormed out crying. I always wonder if they made it to the altar.
• Divorce: he was with her in the delivery room while she was giving birth to their first baby, after that he was grossed out by her any time he sees her, she said he didn't even sleep with me in the same bed anymore, so she filed for divorce.
• Disagreement about whether they were called chickpeas or garbanzo beans. Neither party could believe that both were names for the same thing, so they broke up.
• Up against the barriers at a Bob Dylan concert. Mark Knopfler was opening. Half way through Knopfler's set the couple next to me started arguing. The dude was screaming at her, calling her a slag because she was "making eyes at the bass player". Finally he stormed off, excruciatingly slowly, because the crowd was so thick. Asked her if she was alright and she said "Yeah, he's a prick." and she seemed to have a blast the rest of the gig.
• A girlfriend was looking through my cd case and found some KMFDM cds. She had a complete breakdown I was completely baffled. She thought KMFDM stood for Kill Mother F*cking Depeche Mode. Apparently, Depeche Mode got her through some hard times, and she loved their music. I told her that probably wasn't true, and if it stood for anything, it was probably something in German since they were a German band, but the damage was done.
• The wife had chronic dry eye which made her contacts uncomfortable, husband could not handle the fact that her eyes were different colors
• I remember my friend trying to explain how his mom left because his dad hit her with a pancake
• "I slept with another guy, is because I lack of sense of security from you. It is your fault you forced me to slept with him " aka from my friend
• It was so a woman could get the urgent care she needed for her illness - it was an insurance loop hole to save her life
• A coworkers’ sil said she caught her husband in bed with another man soon after they moved to a new city, she didn’t even pack a bag, just flew back and lived with a sister and bought all new stuff, didn’t want anything sent to her
• My ex broke up with me because I was her first person she had sex with. Her mother told her that she couldn't settle for her first and needed to go out and have sex with more people. The crazy thing is that her family loved me and we were happy. I did end up dodging a bullet, she drinks like a fish now and gets a new job every 3 months.
• When I was in college a girl I was dating told me "she felt that the Holy Spirit had told her we needed to break up". Yes she was a Mormon.
• He bought lottery tickets every week. Like $20 -$25 in tickets. She left him rod spending $100 a month on lottery tickets.
• The husband was a con artist (and more) and lied about the marriage paperwork
• One of my best friends from high school got a divorce when he found out his wife was posting on Reddit about their relationship problems. Said she should have asked for permission first
• Husband cheated with his half sister. Oh, wait. That’s what happened to me with my ex husband.
• I broke up with a girlfriend once because she told me her favorite Starwars character was jar-jar binks
• This is not a joke…this really happened to me. My now ex-husband said to me when he told me he wanted a divorce "when I walked into the kitchen and I saw you were drinking a caramel latte, I knew you were never going to change". (He wanted me to lose weight, I wasn’t doing it fast enough.)
• Knew a couple who got married to "get the first one out of the way". Does that count?
• Someone posted about a couple divorcing because the husband kept bringing his mom on their honeymoon trips.
• I once heard someone broke up because their partner ate pizza with a fork and knife.
• I knew a couple who were swingers and regularly went to swinging parties. He told me they never kissed anyone else, but did everything else. She then kissed someone at a party and he left her because he said he couldn’t trust her anymore.
• She couldnt stand that she was older than him, and said its not right and unnatural.......she was 3 months older than him.
• Saying the french fries weren't fully cooked, it just blew up after.
• Had a buddy who served in the military, he was active duty for two years and spent time overseas in Germany doing training, he got home from deployment only to find out that his wife had been cheating on him for 6 months she had been f*cking a guy who lived in their neighborhood , weirdly enough, he was willing to try and look past the fact that she had an affair while he was gone, she was the one who hit him with the papers. Don't worry, there is a silver lining. The judge took one look at the case and because she had been unfaithful, she didn't receive one single thing of his.
• had a friend who bragged on about how sweet her new bf was and casually added "too bad I have to break up with him, I can't be seen with a haircut like that"
• Best friend: "She’s crazy! You have no idea what I go through. She’s a completely different person when it’s just the two of us". We all knew who the crazy person was.
• Said I gave her an STD. Turns out she cheated on me and got the STD from him.
• Divorce: Because the wife asked the mother-in-law to keep out of a lover's quarrel she had absolutely no business interfering in. She got offended, cried, told her son and everything went downhill from there.
• Breaking up over someone changing your CD in the car without permission.
• My husband told me his ex broke up with him because of how he used to squeeze the toothpaste tube. I thought that was funny.
• Bf broke up with me because he "thought I was cheating. " After 2 years and a kid. I think he was doing something tbh. Cuz I never cheated and he ended up with the girl he told me not to worry about

Lots of nightmare fuel and simply weird answers in that thread. Fortunately, I have never been through anything *TOO* crazy over the past couple of decades.

I've had some pretty strange experiences, but nothing that moves the needle in the fashion like many of the stories above.

I did have one woman steal a bunch of money from me, and that same person was visibly offended to the point of shaking when I said I don't think there's an issue with women having a job. Every woman I know in my family, for the most part, either has a great job or owns their own business. My then-girlfriend thought that was appalling, and I just remember thinking her reaction was so weird. We didn't last too long after that.

I also had a girlfriend in my very early-20s who would constantly complain about rich people. I once asked her what she thought rich people should pay in income taxes. She told me 25%. I then blew her mind when I revealed what rich people actually pay. I got to see her brain explode in real time. It was pretty funny, but that also had nothing to do with why we broke up.

Fortunately, my fiancée is a saint, and I haven't had to deal with any nonsense from my younger years. It might take some time, but you just need to get in all those early reps early.

Do you have a wild relationship or breakup story? Let me know at David.Hookstead@outkick.com.