Craziest Bartending Stories Go Viral, Is Proof People Are Out Of Control

What's the craziest thing you've seen in a bar?

It probably won't surprise many OutKick readers that I've been in a few bars a time or two over the course of my life - working class ones, of course.

I've witnessed a lot of things, but even I wasn't ready for what I discovered in a Reddit thread going mega-viral.

When the drinks start flowing, wild things can happen. (Credit: Getty Images)

Insane bartending stories go viral.

I was scrolling through Reddit when I spotted the following thread:

"Bartenders of Reddit, what was the wildest thing you witnessed on the job?"

I couldn't click fast enough. Check out some of the responses below, and let me know your thoughts at David.Hookstead@outkick.com.

• A lightbulb fell out of the fitting, and hit a guy on the head. He thought someone had thrown it. A massive pub brawl ensued.
• Not me, but a coworker. A guy walked up to the bar and asked for a drink. He was visibly hammered so coworker said he was going to close the guys tab and get him a cab. Drunk guy responded surprisingly well. Said "ok, I just need to go to the bathroom first and I’ll be back" Like a god damn toddler, this guy drops his pants to the floor and just starts pissing. Bartender screams "ARE YOU F*CKING PISSING ON MY FLOOR?" And the dude sort of snaps into reality, looks horrified at his dick, and just runs.
• I had a drunk woman put her head down on the edge of the bar and throw up underneath. When we told her she had to leave she stood up, slipped on her own puke, slammed her head on granite bar top, and fell into her own mess. When she stood back up, she had a cartoonish sized knot on her forehead. She then smiled and asked m what I was doing later… I respectfully declined. I’ve got hundreds of stories after bartending for 25ish years.. good times!
• Back in the late 80's I was tending bar at a Bennigan's. Dude walks in around 11 pm. Walked, talked and looked sober. Ordered a wild turkey boiler maker. We chatted, I ran his card for the tab, set the drinks the bar, and walked to the kitchen to grab a food order. A few minutes later I turned around and he wasn't there anymore. I looked over the bar to find him on the ground in a pool of his own piss. I call the manager who comes with a busboy to clean up the mess. While waiting for a cab at the host station, dude gets back up takes a swing at the manager falls flat on his face, blood splatter from his busted nose went everywhere. Before the busboy could get to the mess, dude pisses himself again. This time we called the cops. Dude admitted to popping a couple Xanax just before walking in.
• Had a brief run as a summer job and once had this dude apparently try to roofie his date but seemingly grabbed the wrong drink and roofied himself instead. He collapsed suddenly and was rushed to the ER.
• The week bud platinum came out. I was tending bar at the Buffalo wild wings in the Atlantic terminal in Brooklyn. I've never, ever seen so many vomiting drunks in a single bar before. We had tried to warn them just how much more alcohol was in the platinum compared to the light. Three people threw up on the bar top in a half hour. Novelty wore off quickly thank f*ck.
• We had a guy come in and absolutely pound glass after glass of water. Like, an insane amount. He got drunk. Off water! We called the cops because he wouldn't leave and was being a problem. He was an escapee from a mental hospital. Day pass. This is what he did on his free day. I've never seen anything like that since.
• Oh boy this one will stay with me forever. During one of the big events of the year we had a full on brawl break out in the parking lot between old dudes most of which are vets and young college aged kids, after we broke it up and got them all apart we asked what happened... the folks who started a brawl were a father and son who hadn't seen each other in a long time and both agreed to meet up and catch and introduce significant others and turns out they were both dating the same girl.
• This isn't the wildest thing but it always stuck with me... One time this lady asked me for a buttery nipple. I told her I didn't have any butterscotch schnapps. Then she asked me for a butter packet like you would put on bread. Proceeded to pop her t*tty out and butter it up right there at the bar. "Now that's a buttery nipple!"
• From someone on the other side of a bar. I once saw a bartender whilst mixing a cocktail fling the shaker from one hand to the other. He missed and it took out about 12 bottles on the shelf behind him. He tried to act casual and didn’t react and picked up a new shaker and began again.
• I used to work in a bar with an upstairs that was more like a pub and a downstairs that had a dancefloor and club nights etc on. One night downstairs it was crowded and 2 lads downstairs started arguing. One of them was part of a larger group, who all began to hassle the other lad. The other lad snapped, grabbed his pint glass and smashed it into his face, and then his friend's face, and then his other friend's face. People were dropping like flies on the dancefloor and there was blood everywhere. The DJ pulled the music off instantly and we had to get police and paramedics in immediately. We usually closed around 3am but I was there until 8 the next morning giving statements to police and cleaning blood from the floor, it was f*cking horrible. After that we switched to plastic glasses and cans downstairs.
• I saw a guy stab our bouncer in the neck with a screwdriver. It turned out this guy had previous violent felonies. Our bouncer recovered after surgery, the guy got 20 years in jail.
• A drunk girl at the bar was getting some unwanted attention. Told the guy to leave. Took a swing at me. Some other girl floored him with a bottle. The rest of her night was on the house.
• Not the craziest but the most memorable. A girl (25 at most) grabbed a clean pint glass, urinated into it, then put it in the pick-up area. Another customer walked over and grabbed it, then dumped it on her.
• About 14 years ago a girl came into the bar.. it was a slow night so we started playing blackjack. She lost every hand over and over again and again for about 10 hands in a row so we stopped playing and were just talking some. She told me about how she was working at the Sendai airport during the 2011 earthquake and tsunami and was showing me pictures she took of the water almost up to the boarding gates. I told her that the reason why she lost every hand of blackjack that night was because she used up all of her luck that day.
• Once had a woman tell me she took her pistol out of her purse when using the bathroom. Set it on the back of the toilet and then forgot it. When she remembered and went back to grab it, it was gone.
• Had a customer order a Balvenie 14 Carribean Cask with: soda water, bitters and olives. Humans truly are capable of atrocities.
• A guy I was asking to leave thought I was getting around the band playing. I was actually telling him he was currently pissing his pants and he should go
• I was at a bar as a customer, there was a UFC fight on that I didn't know about (because I don't care) and 2 dumbass drunks thought they'd have their own UFC fight in the bar, before we knew it the one guy threw the other guy through the front window of the bar. F*cking stupid. I don't go to bars anymore. Especially not that one.
• A dude got asked to leave so proceeded to dive on the floor, grab the bouncer by the ankles, and try bite a chunk outta his leg
• I had a customer leave after having a great time and immediately trip over the parking curb stop out front. Full face plant, knocked out two teeth, there was blood everywhere. She got up, dusted herself off and got in a cab as if nothing happened. And that is why I have someone else’s tooth in my dresser drawer.

Fortunately, I can't say I've experienced anything like many of the stories above. Knock on wood, I hope I never do.

I have seen some bizarre altercations over the years, but nothing where anyone was seriously hurt or things exploded.

My personal favorite story is when a loser of a man *FLIPPED OUT* because my buddies and I were discussing the Brittney Griner prisoner swap. This man started screaming about racism and every other ism you can think of.

It was hilarious. I then start hitting this guy with facts like Mike Tyson handing out punches in his prime. He threw the clipboard that the bill came on across the bar and stormed out. Never saw him again. I hope he's still every bit as miserable today as he was then.

Crazy bartending stories are going viral on Reddit. (Credit: Getty Images)

What's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed in a bar? Let me know at David.Hookstead@outkick.com.