Courteney Cox Starts Summer In A Robe, Oilers Boob Girl Game 7 Playboy Content & Jeter's Wife Stuns Internet
Well, here we are – the final full week of June. Actually, the final Monday of June. Unreal. I believe that also makes this the final Monday of the final week of the final month of the year without football. True story.
And if that doesn't have you ready to run straight through a brick wall this evening, I don't know what will. Summer vacation in full swing, a couple Game 7s on deck (well, one's a Game 3, but you get my point), the Fourth of July is a week away and football season is inching closer and closer.
Don't you dare accuse me of starting the week on a negative note. Positive vibes only today. Let's roll.
On that note, welcome to a Final-Monday-Of-June Nightcaps – the one where we welcome in the summer heat with Courteney Cox and go from there.
What else? Goodness, do I have a ton. We'll check in with ESPN's chief bettor, Erin Dolan, after she dominated a beach over the weekend, and then get you ready for the totally fair, unbiased CNN debate later this week. Should be a hoot!
I've also got Derek Jeter's wife making a rare cameo, more content from the viral Oilers flasher as we gear up for tonight's Game 7 (what a collapse), and we'll check out the Best of the Best from over the weekend before it becomes old and outdated.
Sound good? Good!
Grab whatever gets the job done – I'd suggest something in the Whiskey world, but to each their own – and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!
I'll admit it, I'm concerned about the Panthers tonight
We have to start with tonight's Game 7, unfortunately. I know I just got done telling you how optimistic class was gonna be, but I lied. Whatever. It's America, that's what we do.
I don't feel great about it. Just don't. I don't know what the hell's happened in the past week, but Florida hasn't won since I left … Florida. Maybe it's my fault. I ditched the greatest state in the country for the northeast, and for that, I reckon I deserve to be punished. Fair is fair.
The Panthers have been lifeless since the end of Game 3, and they haven't been a particularly great home team this season. Not a great combo. The Oilers also have the viral boob girl on their side, and with each passing game, she's become more vocal.
Remember, at first, we didn't even know who she was. This chick flashed the entire country and then went AWOL for like two weeks.
But in the last nine days, she's not only come back to life, but she's also revealed herself to the public. Over the weekend, she made her Playboy debut. And now, I would assume, she's gonna be in Florida for Game 7.
I hate to say it, but I can feel it in my bones. I think we're in big trouble tonight. And then, after the collapse is complete, all we'll have is Playboy Kait to get us through to football season:
Speaking of Game 7s (3s) …
Yeah, we have no shot. And you know what the worst part is? This sort of energy is gonna bleed right into football season. The Dolphins are SCREWED now. Donezo. The Panthers could've set the tone for the rest of the calendar year, and now they've basically ruined it for the rest of the teams. Great.
PS: LOVE that Oilers Kait took her talent(s) to Playboy instead of OnlyFans. That's how you pay the proper respect to the legends. Solid work.
As for the other do-or-die game tonight, I'm all in on Tennessee. Don't know why, but I just am. I think it's because Tony Vitello is an absolute firecracker. Can't get enough of that dude.
Anyway, has anyone out there watched this Umpire Cam alternate cast ESPN's using for these games? My dad and I stumbled upon it yesterday, mainly because the regular broadcast kept getting interrupted by pesky tornado watches in New Hampshire, and I gotta say … I sort of dug it.
I'm sure everyone else did, too!
Allllllllllllllllllllllllrighty then! Message received. The ump camp SUCKED! Moving on …
… to disappointed parents!
The weekend content was flowing like fine wine
I've been there, pal. A billion times. You haven't lived until you disappointed your parents by being an idiot on the baseball field. Nothing like it. It's a rite of passage, frankly. I'm better off because of it.
PS: Jeff Kent? What a name to remember. Makes me think of that STACKED Giants team back in 2002, which then makes me think of this iconic moment:
Pure dad instinct right there from JT Snow. One minute they're cussing you out from the bleachers, the next they're saving you from getting crushed to dust on national TV. It's beautiful. It's American as hell.
Let's empty the bookmarks from a long weekend before they become old news:
CNN brat, ESPN's Erin Dolan and Derek Jeter's wife!
That last one is just … perfection. Chefs kiss. Happy anniversary, Greta! We're still here, baby! And we LOVE fossil fuels. Can't get enough of 'em. I bathe in the stuff. Vroom vroom!
(No idea what fossil fuels actually are, so I probably sound dumb. Whatever. At least I ain't Greta dumb)
OK, rapid-fire time before the Panthers piss away a Stanley Cup. First up? Speaking of woke virue-signalers …
Serious question … is this Kasie Hunt person trolling us? Like, is she serious here? How DUMB are they at CNN? I mean, my God. They just don't see it, do they? It's incredible.
PS: "I don't care what side of the aisle you stand on, as my track record clearly shows."
Also, Kasie's SOCIAL MEDIA HEADER:
See? They just don't see it. It's hilarious. Great start to debate week, though!
Next? Let's cool down with ESPN's betting analyst, and longtime Nightcaps student, Erin Dolan!
Besides calling New Jersey your favorite place – which is just a lie – welcome back to class, Erin! Been far too long. Don't be such a stranger next time.
Finally … happy 50th to Derek Jeter! Fifty years. Goodness gracious me, we're old. Well, actually, Jeets doesn't actually turn 50 for another two days, but his wife – Hannah – threw him a surprise party over the weekend.
And if you're thinking to yourself, ‘Wait, Jeter has a wife?’ you're not alone. I feel like we have NEVER seen nor heard from her. He's always been a private dude, but even this one surprised me.
Anyway, good for him. Shockingly, she ain't bad looking:
Courteney Cox takes us into a big week
By the way, I know some of you aren't ready to hear this, but … Nomar > Jeter. There, I said it.
Prime Nomar lasted like four years, but he was better than Derek Jeter. He certainly didn't have the longevity – especially those hammies, which gave out at least once a year – but late-90s Nomar Garciappara was insane:
Didn't see a Nomar Garciappara tribute coming in today's class, did you? We zig, they zag. Don't you forget it.
On that note, take us home, Courteney Cox – who also just celebrated a birthday (60).
Let's go have a big week.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You think CNN is gonna be fair to Trump? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.